Fadedwords

Today is Thanksgiving… more importantly it is a Thanksgiving of firsts for me:

• First Thanksgiving spent away from my family.
• First Thanksgiving where I am cooking the meal.
• First Thanksgiving spent with the man that I will marry someday.

I find myself missing my family a great deal already, and it’s only 7am. I suppose this is because I’ve been missing them a great deal for quite some time. I wish I could be home helping Mom by making the spicy cream cheese dip for the celery, and watching football with my Dad.� Instead, today I will be in charge of cooking and I’ll catch football while things are cooking.

I am thankfulfor a great many things today, despite missing my family. I am thankful that I am spending this day with Jake. There was awhile when he was planning to go to Mississippi to be with his family. Originally I was going to go, but then I found out about Merlin so I said I’d just stay here and that he should go see his family no matter what. Right before Thanksgiving though, he found out that he wouldn’t be able to get the time off that he needed, so he’d have to stay here. While I’m disappointed for him, I’m also quite thankful that he’s here. He is a source of constant happiness and joy in my life, and I am absolutely thrilled that we are spending our first Turkey Day together.

I am thankful that I am happy this year. It seems that I haven’t been really happy in a very, very long time. This time last year I was preparing for surgery, getting over having my heart broken, and dealing with a lot of emotional baggage. This time last year I was depressed and angry. The years before that weren’t too much different. This year I have started my career, I have my dream dog, I’m with the man I love, and I know how deeply I am loved in return. Happiness is wonderful, and I highly recommend it to everyone.

I am thankful that I have this new puppy, despite his challenges. He’s already made me smile more in the last five days than I can possibly say. Comnig home to his furry, wiggly, slobbery little self every day is going to help make every day so much better. He is learning fast, and I know that one day soon I’ll look back and wonder what happened to my 20lb puppy… because he’ll be an 80lb dog. I am so thankful that I contacted my breeder when I did, and that she had this little boy for me.

I am thankful that I decided to make the move to NC. While I miss my family, it has given me the opportunity to work as a school counselor, be near Jake, as well as make many new friends. It’s hard beind so far from home sometimes, but slowly this is becoming my home. I know that Jake and I will be here for a long time to come.� It’s a beautiful place full of so much opportunity.

I am so very thankful for my friends… they have been there for me as this move has happened and as I struggled when I first got here. Monica and Tiani have heard the most of my worries and they have helped in any way they can. Tiani recently flew here to see me over a weekend, which is so amazing. I have so many wonderful friends that I know care about me. At the same time, there are some of my friends that I see a large distance forming between… friends that I truly thought would always be a part of my life. It seems as if this move has been too much for those friends. It makes me sad and a little angry, but more than that it just makes me appreciate my wonderful friends even more. So to Drew and Monica and Tiani and Clint and Robin and Courtney and Tim and Val and Jason… you all have helped make this move much easier for me. I miss you (well most of you… Courtney lives in NC and works with me, so I don’t miss her!) and I cannot wait until I can see you again.

More than anything, I am thankful for my family. I have wonderful parents, an amazing brother, and an Aunt that is always there for me whenever and however I need her to be. I miss them and wish I could be with them this day. I am also thankful for this new family that is beginning: mine and Jake’s. While we don’t have any children yet, we do have this puppy and our cat… and the four of us are family. It’s a small start to something that I truly believe will be a beautiful and forever kind of thing.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.