Fadedwords

It’s kind of difficult to put my thoughts into words right now. Thankfully, I was talking to a good friend tonight and he put exactly what I was feeling into a very precise set of words:

“It’s not so much jealousy of the person as it is the situation. Something good happens to a douchebag and it’s like ‘why them and not me?’”

And that about sums it up.
**Thanks Bowen

The last few days, in a nut shell-

• Sunday I arrived in Greensboro for the SIMS Conference at about 4pm
• At 6pm the power supply for my laptop died, and even after unplugging it for several hours it did not reset.
• By Monday afternoon, even with minimal use, the laptop battery was completely dead… and I had no way to recharge it since the power cord thingy was fried.
• The conference was good… very informative.
• I finally got a beautiful pair of cowboy boots (don’t judge me) for a great discount. They remind me fondly of my days riding on the Western team in college.
• I found a copy of Snood for my Nintendo DS… for the bargain price of $10.
• I got my hair cut. Pictures will follow.
• I’m borrowing Jake’s Dell XPS until we can figure something out with my laptop.

Merlin will be five months old on Tuesday. I thought this would be an interesting visual.

When we brought him home, this is what he looked like:
2 Months Old
This was taken this morning:

Nearly 5 Months.

He’s huge, and he’s wonderful.

A year ago today Jake and I talked, and we decided that meeting face-to-face had shown us just how deeply we felt for each other. We decided that we wanted to try to take our relationship to the next level.

I was scared… and I’m sure he was too. We lived 12 hours away from each other, and saw one another about once a month for the first part of our relationship. Each time just sealed what we already knew; we loved each other and wanted to make it work.

So I found a job in North Carolina and moved. It was a simple decision, and despite problems with my job and with the house I live in, I have not for one moment regretted coming here.

A year ago today I began a relationship with the man I know I will spend the rest of my life with. Today I look back over the past year, and all it has held, and I just smile.

1 year is a drop in a big ocean of what will be a lifetime.

Happy Anniversary, and Happy Valentine’s Day Jake. I love you.

Bless the Broken Road
by Rascal Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I’d like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You’ve been there you understand
It’s all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I’ve thought about getting a tattoo for a long time.? Several things have stopped me. Cost. The thought of needles. Permanancy. Wanting something meaningful. Etc.

Today I found this:

It is the Chinese symbol for Eternal/Eternity. I found it really interesting that it looks like a J and K make up the majority of this symbol. I think the symbol itself is beautiful, and it says a lot.

I’m not saying I’m going to run out and get it tomorrow (or even next month most likely). It’s in my head now. I would also like to get a very small ladybug added somewhere in the symbol. Not only are ladybugs allegedly lucky, but ‘Katiebug’ has been my nickname for quite some time.

We shall see.