My brother graduated on Saturday, as I wrote about. Since I’m in New York for the next three weeks I’m going to be dipping into the Merlin archives. Today we will revisit Merlin’s graduation, in tribute to my brother. It’s clear that Merlin, too, can understand the rigorous dedication necessary for graduating.
He was as proud of himself as I was… but not as proud as I am of my brother. Three cheers to graduation.
My dad and mom called me into their bedroom one morning and told me that Mom was going to have a baby. I was terribly excited, so excited that I jumped on my bed for quite some time afterwards. Then I went next door to tell my friend the fantastic news. She quickly let me know that baby brothers were the worst thing ever, and that if I was smart I would run away with her. She sounded pretty sure of herself, so I decided she must be right.
We went to the park that’s about a block from the house. Our plan was to live in the slides… and that’s about the extent of it. It was still pretty cold out, but we thought we’d be alright. My Dad showed up, and instead of convincing me to go home he brought me a sleeping bag and told me I knew where the house was if I wanted to go back.
After about an hour, and eating ice icicles for lunch I thought maybe a little brother or sister wouldn’t be nearly as bad as eating ice and living in a slide. So I went home. Several months later on July 6th my brother was born.
Over the years there have been times that I’ve been in absolute awe of how wonderful he is. There have been times I’ve wanted to shake him silly or strangle him. I was the in residence babysitter. I have been nearby for nearly every major stepping stone throughout his young life.
Today my “little” brother graduated from high school. In a little more than a week he will turn 19. I cannot believe so many years have passed in the blink of an eye. He has become the kind of young man that I think it’s hard to be these days. He is honest, caring, empathetic, intelligent and strong. I feel truly lucky that I’ve been able to be a part of his life… and that I’ve been able to stand by and watch this wonderful man that he has become.
Congratulations Kid. I love you.
You can see all of the photos from graduation here.
After switching departure gate 4 times at RDU, hearing repeatedly that it was “likely” that all flights would be grounded for the night, being delayed, surviving horrifically terrifying turbulence, and then being delayed again… I am home.
It has been a hellishly long day, and I’m looking forward to sleep.
My brother graduates from high school tomorrow. Jebus. More on that later.
I love my job. Really, I do. I love working with kids of all ages. I love that schools are such hubs of energy and that I play a part in hundreds of childrens’ lives every year. I love the friends I have made and I love that I am doing what I went to school for.
But I hate constantly being poor. I hate that I can’t help out more with finances around the house, although please know that Jake has never said I’m not pulling my weight and in fact has told me the opposite. I hate that there are things that I want that I cannot get now… and likely won’t be able to get in the next 3-5 years. I hate that I worry sometimes about going places because I don’t know if gas is in the budget… which I know is a growing concern for many of us. I hate that I get jealous when those close to me are able to make large purchases… or even relatively small purchases that I still couldn’t afford.
I know I sound selfish and horrid… it’s not my intention. I’m thrilled that those around me can do nice things for themselves. I’m happy for them because they are happy. I also know that I signed up for this profession voluntarily and with informed consent; I knew from the start that being a counselor would never make me rich. I knew that doing this was about loving kids more than money wasn’t in the job description… but it should be.
I’m just down in the dumps I suppose. I want a new camera and can’t get one until someone buys the old one… but nobody is going to buy the old one. I want a Cric*ut cutter… but I can’t afford one. I want to be able to contribute more to our bills around the house, but I’m struggling to contribute the small amount that I do.
I just wish that my calling had been to something that made it easier to pay the bills and easier to enjoy being a grown up. Instead I end up feeling like I’m behind in some way… like I made the wrong choice. I know, logically, that I did not. It’s just hard to see many of the people around me able to do things that I wish I could do, and knowing I won’t be able to without taking on two more jobs.
I realize that 90% of the people who read this blog work year-round at regular jobs and that this post is bound to make people crabby. So I apologize in advance.
After a week of “sleeping in” (til 7am!), getting up at 6am today has really sucked the big one. I have a facilitative leadership workshop today-Thursday, and it starts at 8am. I’m meeting my good friend Jenny and we’re carpooling. Hopefully the workshop will be as good as everyone says it is.
But 6am? Yeah, it sucks. I know many of you get up at 6 or earlier every single day. I know that I’m lucky I get such a long, paid vacation. I know. But today 6am sucks.
/end pointless bitch-fest.
