Fadedwords

There aren’t too many things that I am incredibly passionate about.  I’m pretty sure I’ve made it clear that horseback riding is one of those things.  It’s probably at the top of the list of things I love.  The past three weeks riding have been the best in a long time. 

I got a voicemail today from the director of riding academy at the farm letting me know that I would not be able to ride there because they have a weight restriction. 

I’ll go on record as saying I understand weight restrictions.  I competed in college and I completely understand the toll it takes on a horse to have many lessons a day.  If you add to that riders that are heavier, it’s just not fair or safe.  So I get it.  In fact, when I first started looking in to riding I worried that I wouldn’t be able to start until I lost some weight.  So I understand it, I even support the notion.

What I do not support is this:

• There was no mention of this on the website under rider requirements when I first went there.  In fact, they just updated their site today and now it’s on there.  (sidenote: that makes me feel as if it was added just for me… and that adds to the totally effing awesome feeling I have right now).
• When I went for my farm tour I filled out paperwork that asked for my weight and I answered honestly.  This was before I ever saddled up.
• I rode for the first time four days later and there was no mention of weight.
• I turned in my group riding lesson stuff the day after that and again put in my weight.
• I rode two more times and no mention was made of my weight. 
• They left me a damn voicemail that, in essence said, “You’re too fat to ride.”  You don’t tell someone that in a damn voicemail.

I wrote them an email and voiced my reasons for being upset.  I also told them that I do want to ride with them when my weight is in the right range, but that they really need to be more careful in the future to respect peoples’ feelings and time… not to mention money.  I dished out $190 just in riding lesson the past month… and I won’t even jot down what I spent on gear.  I paid this because I was led to believe I’d be starting a rigorous training program at the end of the month.  They had the info about my weight at the end of July, and they are just now telling me I’m too heavy.

I’m not ashamed of my weight.  I gained it due to serious medical issues, and I’m working really damn hard to lose it now.  I’m succeeding so far.  I also won’t sit here and lie and say that it doesn’t hurt an incredible amount to have someone tell me (no matter how tactfully) that I’m too fat to do something that I love so damn much.   

I was so looking forward to this.  After three weeks I was over the incredible pain of starting over.  I was feeling really good about how I was riding.  And now I’m going to have to start all over again in 3 months or whenever I lose another 19lbs.  I’m absolutely crushed.