Update on Sucky Situation
I mentioned in my previous post that I had sent an email about what was going on, explaining why I was upset. I wasn’t really expecting a response because I had told them I would call next week when I wasn’t so upset. I was a little surprised to have an email this morning from Joy, the diretor of the riding academy.
Hi Kate,
I understand completely that you are upset and I can fully appreciate why.
Truthfully, I didn’t know it would be an issue either until my barn manager
brought it to my attention– the horse that I had planned would be your
consistent mount was not sound. This is less about you specifically and
more about the fact that we don’t have appropriate mounts.
Furthermore, I had no idea it was a “policy” until I began to research your
particular situation. Once I learned of the “policy”, it became quickly
clear to me that we needed to make this more public if it was, in fact, a
“policy”. I hope I will be able to do this better in the future. Seems we
failed here as an organization on both our internal and external
communication.
You are a talented rider and I too am disappointed. Deb is also
disappointed– she really has enjoyed teaching you. I am really eager to
get you back into riding and I’m sorry that we cannot do this immediately.
We did discuss as a staff that your situation was “different” than most
because you are a balanced rider– not a dead beginner. Therefore, perhaps
we could get you back in here sooner if we could find the right mounts. The
National Riding commission generally says that the rider should be no more
than 20% of the mounts weight. That means that we need a 1200 lb horse
right now. I think we might have a couple close to 1100 lbs that we could
partner you with if you could get closer to our 220 lb weight requirement.
But again, we may be able to be a bit more flexible because you are a
balanced rider.
Additionally, I will be happy to reimburse your registration fee, because I
too acknowledge that this was not fair to you. Again, I apologize for the
disappointment we caused you, our poor communication and the fact that we
are not equipped to serve you at this time.
Feel free to call me next week and we can talk about this further. In the
meantime, I will gather the data on the weights of our available mounts and
figure out what we need to do to accommodate you.
Sincerely,
-Joy
Her email has helped me to feel slightly better about the situation. The fact that Joy was unaware that this was something that would cause a problem is reassuring. It’s also helpful to know that she had a horse, but because of injury that horse cannot be ridden. It helps to know that both she and Deb have been fighting to figure this out because they think I’m a good rider.
Of course none of those things really fix the ultimate issue. Unless they can find a horse for me, or I lose 15lbs tomorrow at weigh in, I don’t get to ride this block.
People who aren’t horse people may not understand the concept of a weight limit. This is one reason that I haven’t told many of my friends here at work who are concerned about me what’s going on; to someone who doesn’t understand the mechanics of horseback riding it seems silly to say that I weigh too much to ride right now. They don’t understand the balance it takes, or the muscle control, or the damage that can be done to horse or rider if an inexperienced rider is carrying too much weight. I don’t have it in me to explain it right now either. Talking about it brings me to tears, and I cried all frigging day yesterday.
I know that I’ll be up in the saddle again as soon as my weight is OK. Part of me hopes that Joy and Deb can campaign for me and convince them to make an exception, because I fully believe that I am a safe person to have on any horse. I’ve been riding for going on 17 years, and I am a balanced rider. Yes, right now I’m over the weight restriction. But I’m eating right and exercising, and losing every single week. I don’t think an exception will be made in this instance, and I understand why. The horses in a program like this are ridden frequently, and they are often ridden by beginners that truly tax them. Having someone on them that is carrying some extra weight, no matter how experienced the rider, is going to put a lot of strain on them.
My logical brain understands and accepts why it’s necessary. Unfortunately it does not elimintate my disappointment and my sadness. It doesn’t elimintate how absolutely crushed I’m feeling. It doesn’t eliminate how defeated I feel. It also doesn’t eliminate the dread I feel when I think of taking another several months off and having to start all over again; I was really hoping to not have to deal with torn groin and quad muscles ever again.
It’s just a whole barrel of crap, and I hate it. I’m not apologizing for feeling like crap or for being in a bad mood… and I’m not pretending to be happy either. Right now I’m just letting myself feel bad, because that’s what I need to do for now.
Heather said,
August 22, 2008 @ 9:28 am
That was a nice email. It did help answer some questions.
I’m glad you are allwoing yourself some time to feel bad. So often we aresked to “get over it” to quickly.
I’m also thinking with your new diet and exercise plan when you ride again? You won’t have to go through so much muscle strain. There are specific stretches and exercises you can do in the meantime to get your muscles used to the strain, I think. So, I would see this as time to train and prepare yourself to ride. Small consoloation, I know.
Kels said,
August 22, 2008 @ 11:10 am
I was going to offer the same advice as Heather about the exercising… I’m sure there’s something you can do to simulate the muscle use you would have while riding so that you don’t have to start from scratch all over again.
I’m just sorry that you’re having to be so upset over something that could have been prevented if everyone over there would’ve been on the same page… but it is comforting that she sent such a sincere email and openly admitted to fighting on your behalf for an exception.
Erin said,
August 22, 2008 @ 1:53 pm
And you have every right to feel bad – it sucks but I think the email was quite comforting in the fact that they aren’t saying “hey you are too fat to ride” they are saying how it can hurt a horse and as a horse lover I’m sure you know that it is best. Again, even more reason to kick ass in losing weight and get back on that horse soon!!!
They seem very nice there – I would definitely go back!!
Monica said,
August 22, 2008 @ 6:33 pm
it’s orientation time so life has been hectic here…i’m sorry i haven’t been on top of your blog as usual.
I am so sorry that this happened with you. I have complete faith in you that you will be back in that saddle in no time at all though! hang in there…and i can’t wait to hear your results from weigh in tomorrow!