Fadedwords

In four hours, National Novel Writing Month begins.  This is the fourth year that I will take part in this completely insane event.  The previous three years I completed the 50,000 word count.  I’m not incredibly certain how it will go this year; I’m going to work on a story I wrote 2 paragraphs in about a year and a half ago.  It’s the only idea that I have at this point, so I’m going to give it a try.  We shall see.

Wish me luck.  November is such a very busy month, and NaNo adds a great deal of stress to things.  This is especially true when you don’t have a “great” idea that you’re incredibly vested in.  I’ll be posting it as I write.  Keep a look out in the NaNoWriMo section of my writing pages.  The story this year is called ‘Stay At Home.’

Today was the first Writers’ Club meeting.  My friend Sarah and I decided to get one going, as we both love writing.  I have the added bonus that I was in a Writers’ Club from 7th grade until high school.  We weren’t how many kids would come, but we had about 27 return the permission slip.  I think 22 actually came to the meeting today.  We did some writing prompts, went over ground rules, and discussed taking part in the Young Writers Program through NaNoWriMo.  The kids were really excited to do that, so I’ve ordered the kit and signed us up.  Our group goal is 10,000 words… which is only about 500 words per student.  It was exciting to see all of the children so excited about writing.

I heard back from Joy yesterday; they can refund my money for any lesson I’m not going to attend.  She asked if I would like to withdraw immediately or wait, and I said immediately would be better for a number of reasons.  So I should see that cash via a check from MacNair’s or deposited into my bank account.  I’m incredibly upset and disappointed that this didn’t work out.  I’m feeling very bitter about my low-paying job, and wishing I had decided to go for the money rather than helping people.  I know that sounds horrible, but that’s just where I’m at right now.  Or I wish that NC would step up and pay educators the way they should be paid.

This will be my last week providing homebound service for L.  I have several conferences coming up that are going to have me out of town for a week at a time.  I can’t be doing homebound that way.  Her regular teacher is going to take over for the remainder of her time at home.  I will still go visit her, but no longer will be responsible for tutoring.  L seemed kind of excited that when I come after this week, it will be to do something fun rather than work.  I’m kind of excited about that myself.

It was a good week for WW last week.  I lost 2.8 pounds and made my 10% goal.  I also hit my first 25 pound loss.  My total loss so far is 26.6 pounds, and I am incredibly proud.  I had a kind of splurgy weekend after that though; I had a cheeseburger at chili’s… a bacon cheeseburger at that.  And I ate every last bite.  In my defense, I got broccoli instead of fries.  Then on Sunday I had a chili dog from Cook Out.  The brightsides are: 1) I was incredibly sick both nights… my stomach was just not having any intruders of that magnitude, and 2) I most likely won’t weigh in this Saturday due to the JDRF walk in the morning.  I’ve got time to straighten myself out. :)  In all honesty I probably will try to get over there early enough to just weigh in before the walk; I don’t like the idea of not being accountable, even for a week.  Also, I won a gift card at work and can finally afford a monthly pass for the next two months.  Yay!

I wish it was Thursday.  I’m finding it very hard to be excited about coming to work these days, which is silly.  I know that once I get through this week I have one day next week and then the school counselors conference in Greensboro.  Cannot wait for that.

In any case, it’s time to be productive…

He carries a big stick:

Or tries to anyway…

He is grace in motion.

So.  Today was a friend’s daughter’s birthday.  I also needed to get my oil changed.  I took care of all of that, and had a great time at the party.  Then my friend BC asked if I wanted to go see Nights in Rodanthe, which I did.  We went to her apartment and found a showtime, went and got dinner, and I got a fairly inexpensive Halloween costume.  The movie was fabulous (bring many tissues if you’re going to see it), and then I came home.

I got on line to check my bank account, because I knew it’d be a little low.  I was somewhat surprised to see $0.00 as my checking account balance.

Apparently Sch*0lastic did not charge my debit card immediately when I paid for two books I bought at the book fair.  Instead of charging immediately, which 99.999% of companies do, they charged my card today.  So I had been budgeting under the impression that I had already spent that money, and I had not been charged yet.  So that money came out today.

I’ve had to transfer $100 from savings to cover me “just in case” until pay day, which is Tuesday.  But I’ve also had to come to a very difficult decision.

I’m going to have to give up horseback riding.  The past two months trying to save for lessons have been terrible.  By the end of the month I’m in panic mode because I don’t have any money left.  As much as I love riding and hate the thought of not doing it, it’s not responsible to do it.  I should be paying my bills, helping Jake with major household stuff, taking care of Merlin, and saving whatever is left over after that.  Right now my bills are being paid, albeit not all of them on time every month (my student loan payment is due the 28th of the month, and sometimes I don’t get paid til the 28th of the month).  I help Jake with what I can, but anything beyond basic bills is something I can’t help with… and sometimes even the basics don’t work.  And poor Merlin has had something eating at his skin for the past few weeks, and I cannot afford to take him to the vet to get it checked out.  I’m barely putting anything into savings, and the past two months I have been withdrawing from savings to cover checking.

It’s just not working.

So maybe in another year or so when I have my credit card debt paid down and my one student loan closer to paid off I can look at this again.  Right now it’s just not working.  I’m sick of living like this, and the only thing that is expendable in my budget is riding.

I don’t even know what their refund policy is… it’s quite possible (and likely) that I will be told that they don’t do refunds.  We’ll see on that.  I’ll be emailing the director of the academy to ask.

Today is a day that I wish I had gone to a state school, never gotten a credit card, or gotten a job that paid me enough to pay my bills easily.  None of those things is the case, so I have to give up the one thing I love more than anything else to be an adult.

Being an adult sucks.

Me: I want an i*Phone now.
Jake: OK.
Me: If I got one, we could lightsaber battle.
Jake: You’re the coolest girlfriend ever.