Fadedwords

On Saturday I drove to the mall in Raleigh, walked in to the Apple store, applied for their financing card, and bought my computer.  I got a couple hundred dollars off the original price between educator discount and some other things they have going on right now.  I have over half of the money in my savings account for the machine right now, and I have 1 year interest free to pay it off.  Between my two supplement checks at work, and my tax return, I can easily pay it off.  Plus, it’s tax deductible because I will absolutely use it for the photography business.  I am in love with this computer.  Absolutely and completely.  Last night I made my own ringtones for my phone!!  It took 2 minutes, and they work!  My default ringtone is now ‘The Medow” from the Twilight series.  Wahoo.

I am back on track with weight watchers.  For the last year or so I’ve not tracked or done too much.  I have maintained my loss, which is one of the hardest parts of losing weight.  While I’m proud of that, I know that I want to lose another 30-35 pounds.  I know it won’t come off overnight, but I’m ready to work at it.  My friend Tracey has been so incredibly supportive and referred me to MyFitnessPal.  While I don’t count calories, the website is free and does provide me with a food journal and an Ap for my iPhone so I can add entries to it on the go.  This helps me stay accountable all day long and not “forget” that I ate something.  :)  It also tracks exercise and calculates how many calories you burned.  Right now my biggest struggle is eating all my points in the day.  I struggled with this way back at the beginning of WW, and it’s just a matter of planning ahead and eating good points.

Things with Brandyn are going really well.  I’m feeling kind of bummed because I am so busy that our time together is kind of limited.  He tells me not to worry and that it is a-OK… but I still feel a little guilty that I am so insanely busy.  It makes me a little disappointed in myself that some weeks the only time we see each other is when he comes to a barrel race with me while I work!

About a week ago I was talking with my good friend Tracey and I told her that I wanted to start working on riding without a saddle.  When I fell and injured my wrist, a contributing factor was that I was riding bareback (and without reins) and was feeling really unconfident about it.  Tracey said that we could do some lessons and I told her that I didn’t want to work on Princess because I was already comfortable riding Princess bareback.  She said, “You could ride Simon or Huskey.” I didn’t really know what to say; I know that Tracey is one of the only people to ride both of these horses since she purchased them.  They are her barrel racing horses, and she is understandably picky about who sits on their back.

On Wednesday this week I went down to Fayetteville bright and early.  I had scheduled a riding lesson with Stephanie, because she wants to improve her ability to jump.  That is something I do know how to do, so I had offered at Christmas to start doing that with her.  Her lesson went well; she has a lot of good base skills and most of what we’ll work on is tweaking position and approach.    When the lesson was over Tracey and I headed to the barn to get Simon.

I’ll admit that I was feeling a little nervous.  The last time I rode bareback I had a pretty bad fall and broke my wrist badly.  I’m still not recovered from that injury fully.  I also hadn’t ridden any horse other than Princess in the entire time I’ve been injured… nearly 6 months now.  I knew that my body would struggle to do things properly.  I had never ridden Simon so I had no clue what his trot was like or if I would be able to stay on.

It went really, really well though.  Simon is the kind of horse that just knows what you need, and he gives it to you.  From the moment I got on I felt calm, and Simon had his cute little ears back listening intently to me.    I started out with the goal of just being calm and not saying anything negative (ie- I’m going to fall off).  After a few minutes I changed my goal to trotting non-stop one time around the round pen.  I realize it probably sounds silly to those of you who know I’ve been riding for 20 years.  Riding without a saddle is totally different than riding with one.  In my 20 years of riding my experience riding bareback includes Princess, and the night I fell off of Sade and got hurt.  Princess is so big, wide, and slow that riding her without a saddle is super simple so it almost doesn’t count.  So this ride on Simon was way outside my comfort and experience zone.  The first time we trotted, we only went about 1/4 of the way around the ring, but I felt solid and Tracey encouraged me and told me I looked great.  The next trot I made it halfway, and the next time I did all the way.  After that I ended up making it two full times without stopping.  It was an incredibly positive ride and I felt very confident in my abilities.  It actually made me think, “Hey I’m not bad at this.”

Tracey and I are going to work every Wednesday morning.  I’m going to ride Huskey next Wednesday.  I would’ve ridden him this Wednesday, but he was a naughty boy with the farrier and was short a shoe because the farrier couldn’t finish!  I’m excited to ride Huskey because I’ve always felt drawn to him.  He’s a big quarter horse with just a very soothing persona.  I’m definitely looking forward to getting to the place where we can do our lessons outside where the horses can move more and I’m still confident.

Ps- don’t tell my doctor that I was riding with a broken wrist.  “risky behavior” was on his list of no-nos.  Our definitions of “risky” vary.

Once, when I was a teenager, I got my Dad a little nicknack that said, “Anyone can be a father, but it takes a special man to be a Dad.”  At the time, I didn’t realize exactly how true that was of my life.

My biological father was not much more than a DNA donor.  As soon as he found out my Mom was pregnant, he was filing for divorce.  This isn’t something that upsets me; I know I ended up with the best deal in the world.  In any case, he left.  Mom met and started to date my Dad when I was a young child.  We moved in with him and on that first day he looked at me and said, “You can call me Uncle Jim or Dad.” I chose Dad that day… and it’s been Dad ever since.

When I was in fifth grade my parents came to me and asked me how I would feel about changing my last name and being legally adopted by my Dad.  It wasn’t even something I needed to consider.  He had been my Dad since the first day I was in his house, and I loved him very much.  So we went through the process of paperwork, meeting with a judge (I wore a purple dress with big white flowers on it on that day), and eventually I was officially a Moynihan.   We always joke that he bought and paid for me, and that the small print said, ‘No Returns.’

My Dad and I are very much alike.  People tend to forget that he has no genetic tie to me, and often attribute characteristics you only get through DNA to him.  It always gives us a good laugh.  We are both sarcastic, hot tempered, shove our stress down to ‘handle on our own’, and don’t like to rely on others for anything.  I have seen him deal with situations in my life that would have caused others to simply throw their hands up in the air and quit.

My Dad is my rock.  There is nothing I don’t feel comfortable telling him, no issue I don’t trust him to give me advice on.  I cannot imagine my life without him in it.  As most of you who read know, there was a bad fire in my parents’ home early this spring… and I very nearly lost both of my parents.  I cannot explain the hole that would have been in my life without my Dad, nor can I explain how extremely grateful I am that he is still just a phone call away.

Dad I love you.  Thank you for always being there, for always supporting me, and for being the kind of Dad every kid deserves.  You are amazing.

I woke up this morning to a message from Brandyn, as I do most mornings.  This morning’s message included him talking about the fact that a month ago yesterday was our first date.  *smile*

Talk about Boyfriend Bonus Points (BBP)!!

In other not-so-lovely news, I’m off to day two of a conference.  Normally this wouldn’t be terrible, but yesterday was the last day teachers were required to be at school.  Two bright sides to this: 1) I’m earning comp time for this, and 2) I’m getting to hang out with my administrators, and I generally have a really good time when I get to spend time with them.

Last night I was talking with my dear friend Tracey, and I mentioned that I really wanted to start doing some bareback riding lessons (horses, get your mind out of the gutter dear readers).  I said that it was the one thing that I was unconfident about, and that since our girls at CORRAL start out riding without a saddle I felt kind of bad asking them to learn like that if I was pretty terrible at it.  90% of the reason I have my current wrist injury is my own lack of confidence and lack of ability to handle an emergency without a saddle.  So Tracey said that either Huskey or Simon would be great for me to work on that with.  I was really surprised, because those horses are two of the ones she competes on.  She’s generally pretty picky about who rides her boys.  She said we could start working on Wednesday mornings, since I won’t have to work on Wednesdays.  I’m very excited to work with Tracey, and I’m even more excited to ride Huskey or Simon.

I’m getting closer to the place where I’ll be able to afford a new computer.  I’m so ready to get my new machine, and I’m hoping I can do that before I head home at the end of July.  I’m still several hundred dollars short, but I’m working on it.  I have a portrait session booked for this Sunday, and I’m hoping it brings in at least $200 when all is said and done.  The customer chose to order prints off line, so I’m just charging a sitting fee.  This is a family that has consistently ordered photos from me every barrel race, and I absolutely love them.  They’ve also brought me other business from other barrel racers.  I have one more barrel race this month which should bring in some money, and  I may have a senior portrait session at some point between now and when I leave, so that would put me very close to affording the computer.  I’ve been very lucky that I’ve had a loaner machine, but I’m ready to have my own.  I’m determined to put none of this purchase on a credit card, because I had to do that with my camera and new lens.  Those were incredibly necessary, but I don’t want to end up in a terrible position with my credit.

I’ve scheduled a consultation at Blue Flame Tattoo in Raleigh with the artist Christie.  She’s doing some fantastic work for my friend, and I’ve been truly impressed with what I’ve seen.  When I called to set it up, I was disappointed to hear that her first available consult slot is in August!  I think it will be incredibly worth the wait.  I’m going to get a piece of a horse, based on a painting by Sarah Lynn Richards entitled Rojo.  A couple entries back I posted a link to one of her paintings that I really want.  I’ve wanted the tattoo for several years, and I really think that Christie at Blue Flame is going to rock it out of the park.  I probably won’t have the actual tattoo done until September, but I’m pumped.