Hope is the thing with feathers…


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Complicated Life

Things are bumpy these days.  My landlords told me recently that they are pursuing moving out of the area, and will be selling the house I live in.  They said that they would be willing to sell to me for a “very reasonable price”.  I’m in the process of pursuing getting a loan, but based on my financial history and what the landlords are going to ask, it’s not looking incredibly likely that I will be able to purchase this house.

So I need to begin looking for another house to purchase.  And that’s only an option if the bank says they would approve me for a loan, which may not be something they’re willing to do based upon my recent financial history.  If they don’t, I will have to give serious thought into moving back to NY.  I have zero desire to do that, not only because there are no jobs there right now but because of some family dynamics that are going to make that super complicated.  Yes, there are apartments in this area that I could rent, but none in my current price range that take large dogs.  The cheapest apartments I found back when I first needed to move were about what I pay now for the house, but they were 1-bedroom and in really not great neighborhoods.  I can’t move Merlin into a 1 bedroom apartment; it’s not fair to him.  I would have to find him a new home.

Things with the guy have apparently not worked out, for whatever reason.  I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not a girl who loves talking on the phone, so I don’t go out of my way to call… something I explained early on and was told “that’s not a problem” or if it’s something else.  *shrug* I was very upset about it at first, but now I’m just sort of ambivalent.  I have so much else going on that I can’t focus on being upset about that.  I have a crush on this guy that works at a local restaurant… and by all accounts he’s “clearly” attracted to me.  However, I’m too big a pansy to actually ask him out or anything.

Weight loss goals have once again been pushed to the back burner.  I’m so stressed out that by the time I’m done with work every day, I’m too tired/stressed/overwhelmed to make myself go to the gym.  It’s all about priorities and I know that I’m making a choice to not make it one.  I haven’t even been able to get to the barn since before Christmas due to financial things.

I’m hoping for things to calm down soon.  I’ll be going to the bank Friday to see if they’d be willing to grant me a loan, and then I’ll begin searching for a house in whatever price range that the bank gives me.  Fingers crossed.

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One Response to Complicated Life

  1. Kate says:

    Thinking of you and hoping the loan works out. Sending you (((HUGS))) and prayers and positive thoughts. <3

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