Fadedwords

Moments

It all started with a phone call.  Looking back, David Clark had no small feeling of disbelief that something as mundane as a phone call had the power to destroy his very perception of the world.  But it was that one phone call, at three forty-seven in the afternoon on March 12^th that changed his life.  Forever.        “Hello?” David said, tossing his pen down and rubbing his temples gently.  It had been a long day at work, trying to meet a deadline for an article in between meetings and phone calls.

“Mr. Clark?” came a reply.

“Yes, this is David Clark.  How can I help you?” he asked, leaning back in his chair.  It was raining outside, in heavy torrents that blew against the plate glass windows in the office building.  He shuddered, thinking of walking out to the parking lot when he was finally able to leave that evening.  The only positive part of it would be getting home to his wife and daughter.
“This is Officer Michaels with the State Troopers Mr. Clark.  There’s been an accident and you need to come to the emergency room at Memorial General Hospital,” the voice answered him.  David felt his heart skip, not just once but several times.  The world around him seemed to slow. He swallowed hard, looking around.  Everyone was moving around him, continuing about their end of the day routine.  Nobody noticed that all of the color had drained from David Clark’s face.  Nobody noticed that he had stopped breathing.  They did notice, however, when David Clark got to his feet.  They noticed when he dropped his phone and began to run, ignoring their calls.  David Clark ran out of the building and across the parking lot, forgetting about the rain in his frantic drive to get to the emergency room.

Grace Moore had moved back home after finishing medical school, accepting a job at Memorial General Hospital.  The transition had been smooth, and she had immediately known it was the right decision.  All of her close friends still lived in New Hampshire, and she had reconnected with people she had worried she’d lost touch with for good.
“Dr. Moore, we have a life flight coming in!” a voice called.  Grace turned, jogging toward the nurse who had called to her.  As she ran she pulled her shoulder length brown hair into a ponytail.  It had been a relatively quiet day at the ER, and this would be the first emergency flight of the afternoon.
“What are they bringing in Meg?” she asked, going into an elevator and pushing the button that would take them to the helipad.
“Three year old girl and thirty-year old woman.  Car accident with massive injury.  The girl had no pulse and wasn’t breathing when they called in.” They came out of the elevator and on to the helipad just as the helicopter was landing.  The wind from the rotors was strong, and Grace lifted her forearm in front of her face as she jogged to meet the paramedics.  Stretchers were unloaded and they began rushing the patients into the hospital.  The paramedics began calling out stats to them, and Grace took mental note of all they were saying.  They hurried through the halls of the hospital, taking one stretcher in to one exam room and the other into a separate room.  It was there, under the harsh lighting, that Grace saw the woman they had wheeled in.
“Angela?” she whispered.

David sat in a dimly lit waiting room, sitting on the edge of a hard chair. He was hunched over, elbows resting on his knees and forehead resting on his clasped hands.  His shirt was untucked and rumpled, his tie loosened and hanging crooked around his neck.  He’d been waiting for nearly two hours, his only information that Angela and Maggie had been in a car accident.  He swallowed hard, thinking of the last time he’d seen them.  They had eaten breakfast together that morning, sitting at the counter in the kitchen.  Maggie had been making silly knock-knock jokes, relishing in the fact that she could make them laugh.  Her blond hair had hung in sleep-rumpled tangles down her back.  Angela had held his hand across the counter, thumb moving in slow circles on the back of his hand.
“David?” someone said.  He jumped, shaken from his thoughts, and looked up.  Grace Moore was standing in the doorway, wearing navy blue scrubs.  Her hair was falling down around her face.  He’d known Grace since he was five; their mothers had been best friends, causing them to be friends simply out of necessity at first.  As they grew older though, their friendship had grown too.  Grace had stood beside him in place of a best man at his wedding.
“Grace?  Where’s Ange?  Where’s Maggie?  Are they ok?” he demanded, standing up and looking at her with wide, worried green eyes.  Grace opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.  She looked down at her feet and he said, “Grace?” When she looked at him again, tears were falling down her cheeks.
“David I’m sorry,” she began, shaking her head.  “Maggie didn’t make it,” she choked out, brushing tears from her face.  He stared at her, beginning to shake his head slowly.
“I don’t believe you.” He turned away from her, his hands moving to rest on the back of his head as he paced away from her.  “I don’t believe you,” he repeated, turning back toward her and brushing by her.  He shoved the doors to the waiting room open.  “I want to see her,” he demanded, glancing at Grace over his shoulder.  She was jogging after him.  “Where is my family Grace?” he yelled.
“David, wait,” she said, reaching out for his elbow.  He shrugged her off and moved through the emergency room.  He pushed into rooms, ignoring the protests of the people inside as he searched for his wife and daughter.  “David, wa…” The words died on Grace’s lips as he pushed into the room Maggie was in.  All of the tubes had been removed, and the small child was laying on the gurney under the fluorescent lights.  Blood had turned her hair a deep ruddy color, matting it together.  David moved to the side of the bed, putting his hands on the sides of his daughter’s tiny face.  Grace watched as he bent forward, resting his forehead against hers as his shoulders began to shake with sobs.  He began to moan, deep and low as he sank slowly to the ground.  Grace caught him around the shoulders, sliding to the ground with him and holding him as he sobbed.

Grace drew in a deep breath, glancing at David.  They had sat in Maggie’s room on the floor for nearly an hour while he cried.  Then he had finally asked about Angela.
“She’s still alive?” he asked as they walked up the hall.  Grace nodded, raking her fingers through her hair.
“Yes, but David?” she grabbed his hand and stepped in front of him, looking up into his eyes.  “Her injuries are serious… I’m still waiting for results from a CT Scan, but I think the accident has caused catastrophic brain damage.  I don’t think…” He shook his head rapidly and firmly.
“I don’t want to know what you think right now Grace,” he said, and despite the strength in his voice she could see in his eyes that he was pleading with her to save this bad news for later.
“Alright,” she whispered, giving his hand a squeeze.  “She’s right in here. She’ll be hooked up to a lot of machines, and she looks pretty awful.  I just want you to be prepared,” she explained.  He nodded, following as she opened the door. Angela Clark was laying in a bed, covered with a blanket and hooked up to several machines.  Tubes seemed to come out of every orifice.  David drew in a slow and shaky breath as he stepped toward the side of the bed.  He took his wife’s hand in his, sitting down in a chair beside her.
“I’m here Ange.  You’re going to be fine,” he whispered.

David glanced over his shoulder as he slid the key into the front door lock late that night.  Grace was standing there, wet hair hanging in her face.  Her arms were crossed over her chest as she shivered in the damp, rain soaked air.
“Are you hungry or anything?” he asked, motioning for her to follow him into the dark house.  She shook her head, pausing in the hallway as he turned on a lamp.  Toys were strewn across the floor, left there from earlier that day she assumed.  She watched as David leaned against the wall and drew in a shaky breath before bending to pick up the mess.
“David, leave it,” she said softly.  He continued cleaning, tossing the toys into a basket at the end of the couch.  “David?” she said, crouching down beside him and putting her hand on his shoulder gently.  He looked at her and she could see fresh tears were sliding down his cheeks.
“What?” he asked, clutching a stuffed dog in his hands.
“Just leave this for now,” she said with a soft smile.  He let out a sigh and nodded, pushing to his feet and holding out his hand to help her.  “Do you want me to make tea or anything?” David shook his head and sat down on the couch.  He sat with his elbows resting on his knees, and he looked up at her vacantly.
“I just don’t know what to do Grace,” he murmured.  She nodded, reaching out to put her hand on his shoulder again.
“There’s nothing I can say to make this better.  I’m here though,” she promised.  He nodded, sliding his hand over hers and giving it a squeeze.
“I’m going to try and get some sleep.  Stay here tonight… I don’t want you driving in this weather.  The guest room is all made up,” he said.  They walked up the stairs together, parting at the top.
“If you need anything let me know,” she said.  He nodded, and silently went into his room.

Grace awoke to sun streaming across her face, and for a moment she forgot the previous day and all its horrors.  As she sat up on her elbows and realized she wasn’t in her own bedroom, the memories came flooding back.  Maggie was dead.  Angela was in a coma.  She swallowed hard, closing her eyes in an attempt to shut out the memories as she flopped back against the pillows.  After another moment she opened her eyes to glance at her watch; it was after ten.  Grace sat up and tossed the covers back, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed.  She bent down to pick up her scrub pants, which she’d kicked off the previous night before falling into a fitful sleep.  A picture of Maggie and Angela, taken when Maggie was just a baby, sat on the table beside the bed.  Grace felt tears prickle in the corners of her eyes, so she stood quickly.  She paused by the mirror above the dresser for a moment, frowning at the havoc sleep had caused with her hair.
“Beautiful as always,” a voice said.  Grace jumped, turning toward the door and letting out a breath of relief when she saw David standing in the doorway.
“Jesus you scared me,” she said, drawing in a deep breath and then smiling at him.
“Sorry Gracie,” he said, coming in to the room and plopping down on the end of the bed.  She watched him for a minute, and could see by the dark circles under his eyes that he hadn’t slept well the night before.
“How are you this morning?” she asked.  He looked up at her for a long moment and then shook his head.
“How am I supposed to be?” he answered finally.  Grace sighed, moving to sit beside him.  She reached over and took his hand in hers, squeezing it gently.
“I didn’t mean… I just…” she let out another sigh and looked at him, shaking her head.  “I guess I’m not sure what to say,” she finished.  David looked at her and smiled a little.
“Then don’t say anything.” She watched as he slowly curled up on his side, resting his head on her lap and drawing his knees up to his chest.  Grace swallowed hard, and after a moment reached down and ran her fingers through his sandy blond hair.  He drew in a shuddering breath and said, “I woke up this morning and I rolled over and expected to see her beside me… just like she always is.  I expected to feel Maggie crawling across the end of the bed like she does when we sleep in too late and she gets impatient with us for wasting the whole day.  I didn’t understand why the bed was so damn empty, and for a minute I thought I’d get up and go downstairs to see if they were making breakfast.” There was a long pause, and she watched as his eyes closed and pain etched itself across his features.  “Then I remembered, and all I wanted to do was go back to that beautiful moment of forgetting.” Grace drew in a breath and bit her bottom lip, but was unable to stop the tears that spilled onto her cheeks.  “God I just want to forget,” he whispered, closing his eyes again.  Grace continued to run her fingers through his hair, but said nothing.  She still hadn’t thought of anything.

Both David and Angela’s parents had died before they got married, which left him alone to make plans for Maggie’s funeral.  He had met with representatives from the hospital two days after her death regarding which funeral home she would go to, but that was as far as he’d gotten.  When he met with the funeral home director and heard about selecting clothes for Maggie, and picking out passages to be read, he found he just couldn’t figure out what he was supposed to do.  So he spent the days with Angela, sitting beside her hospital bed and holding her hand.
“I’m not sure really what I should bring to them Ange… what would you want her to wear?” he murmured, watching as his wife’s chest rose in fell in time with the machines beeping and whirring along beside her.  She gave no sign that she’d heard him, not even a twitch, but he continued to talk to her as if she were listening.  A noise from the doorway made him glance over his shoulder, and he smiled a little when he saw Grace standing there.
“Hey,” she said, coming to the foot of the bed and picking up Angela’s chart.  She let her eyes scan over the page and frowned slightly at the notes; there had been no change.
“Hey.  Guess who’s here Ange?  It’s Grace,” he said, giving Angela’s hand a squeeze.  Grace watched as he played with the edge of the blanket that was neatly folded under her arms.  She moved to stand behind him, putting her hand on his shoulder.
“I talked with Mark Wallace over at the funeral home this morning David,” she said.  He didn’t say anything so she continued, “He’s worried that you haven’t come in yet to finalize plans for Maggie.” David nodded slowly.
“I’m trying to figure out what she should wear… he said that I had to bring her something to wear.” He drew in a deep breath and looked up at her with big, helpless eyes.  “Angela would know what to do,” he said.  Grace squeezed his shoulder gently.
“We can figure something out.  My shift is over at seven, do you want me to come over and help you pick something out?”
“No, that’s ok.  I can figure it out,” he said, turning back to Angela.  Grace drew in a deep breath and moved to crouch by his side.  She looked up into his eyes seriously.
“This has to get done today David.  They can’t wait anymore.  Let me come and help,” she said firmly.  Tears brimmed in his eyes for a moment, but then he seemed to shake them away.
“Alright.  I’ll be here until your shift is over.  Stop by and get me on your way out,” he said, turning back to Angela.  Grace stood slowly, watching him for another moment before leaving the room to finish her rounds.

Grace sat on the end of Maggie’s bed that night, watching as David pulled another dress out of the closet.  He held it up for a moment, running his fingers over the pink and purple polka dotted pattern and then turning toward her.
“What about this one?  I can’t remember the last time she wore this dress,” he said.  Grace swallowed and shook her head, reaching up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“That doesn’t fit her anymore I don’t think.  Angela was talking about how sad she was that she would have to give it to goodwill,” she murmured.  David frowned, looking at the dress for another moment before hanging it back up in the closet and taking out another.  “Why don’t we just pick her favorite one?  It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of it… it’s not for anyone else.  Lately she was wearing that pink skirt and the white shirt with pink butterflies all the time right?  Is that one in there?” she asked.  David shook his head, but didn’t look at her.  “Maybe it’s in the wash.  Angela told me that she had to wash it at night sometimes because Maggie never wanted to take it off.”
“It’s not in the wash Grace.  She was wearing it.”
“Where?  It’s gotta’ be around here somewh…” Grace trailed off as realization hit her.  Maggie had been wearing her favorite outfit the day of the accident.  She looked down at her hands for a moment before standing and going to his side.  She put a hand on his arm as she reached into the closet and pulled out a dress that had pink and purple butterflies on it.  “How about this one?  It has butterflies just like her favorite shirt… I think she’d like that,” she said.  He nodded slowly, looking at her and forcing a smile.
“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” he said, taking the dress from her and carefully laying it out on the bed.  “She hates dress shoes though… do you think sneakers are ok for her to wear with it?” Grace picked up a pair of white keds that were tossed casually in the corner, setting them beside the dress on the bed.
“Of course,” she said.  David went to the dresser and pulled out a pair of tiny white socks and laid them gently beside the sneakers.
“Do you want something to eat?  I think there’s chicken or something I could make,” he said, going to the bedroom door and turning out the light.  Grace followed him down the hallway.
“Sure, if you feel like cooking,” she said.  He moved quickly to the stairs, going halfway down before he stopped.  Grace was behind him, two stairs above him, so when he turned he was looking up at her.
“This isn’t how it was supposed to be Grace,” he said, leaning back against the wall.  Tears fell down his cheeks silently.  She came down a stair and reached out, pulling him toward her.
“I know,” she said softly, wrapping her arms around him.  He came into her embrace willingly, hanging on to her as if his very life depended upon it.

Maggie Clark’s funeral was scheduled for a Thursday morning.  The wake had been the previous day, with two separate viewings for visitors to pay their respects.  Grace had stayed the whole day, knowing David had no one else to stand beside him through the horrible hours he would have to look at his daughter’s coffin.  They had decided on a closed casket, simply because Maggie had been so badly injured in the accident.  Grace went to the house before the funeral, ringing the bell three times before letting herself in.
“David?” she called.  There was no answer, and for a moment she found herself worrying that he hadn’t been able to make it through one more day of waking up and remembering that his daughter was gone and his wife may as well be.  “David!” she called again.
“I’m up here!” he replied.  She let out a sigh of relief, jogging upstairs and going to his bedroom door.  He was standing in front of his closet wearing a pair of black suit pants and no shirt.  He glanced at her over his shoulder, frowning.  “I don’t know what shirt to wear.  That’s stupid isn’t it?  Nobody’s going to be paying attention to that… but I don’t want to pick the wrong one.” Grace smiled slightly.
“There is no wrong one,” she promised him.  When he looked skeptical she added, “David you could wear a t-shirt and jeans and no one would care.  You have every right to wear whatever the hell you want today.” He smiled, pulling out a light blue shirt and sliding his arms into the arm holes.  He went to the bed and sat down on the edge, bending forward to pull his socks on.
“Thanks for coming this morning… I mean, for coming here.  It’ll help having someone beside me today,” he said, glancing up at her.  Grace brushed her hair over her shoulder and smoothed the front of her black shirt.
“You’ve been my best friend for thirty years… I don’t know where else I’d be this morning,” she answered, leaning against the door jam.  David stood, buttoning his shirt and tucking it in.  He picked up his suit jacket from the bed post and looked at her again.
“If I can just get through this today, then I can focus on Angela.  I need to get through this for her,” he said.  Grace nodded, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.
“We’ll get through it together,” she promised.

Everyone had left the cemetery long ago, filtering out after the pastor’s last words over the grave.  David stood by and watched as the cemetery workers began to go about the business of securing the coffin in the grave.  He’d had to assure them it was OK to start, that he just wanted to be with her until it was completely done.  They had finally agreed to start when he’d made it clear he wasn’t leaving until it was done.  Grace stood beside him, watching as dirt was slowly piled back into the open hole that now held his daughter.
“I remember when Angela found out she was pregnant… I wanted a boy so bad.  She knew from the day that pregnancy test came back that she would have a girl.  I wasn’t convinced though, wanted my little guy that could roughhouse and play sports.  We bet on whether it’d be a girl or a boy… and when she won she pretty much advertised it in the papers.  I was disappointed at first,” he said.
“I remember when you called me you sounded a little let down,” Grace said.  He looked at her then, the pain in his green eyes unmistakable.
“I wasn’t disappointed when she was born though.  She looked so much like Angela, and she was so perfect… so tiny and perfect and wonderful.  I didn’t understand how I could’ve ever wanted anything but her.  She’s the best thing I ever did.  And now she’s gone.” Grace drew in a shuddering breath as tears pooled in her eyes and spilled on to her cheeks.  “Three years isn’t enough,” he said, turning back to the grave.  It was nearly full of dirt now.
“She loved you so much David,” she said, sliding her arm around his waist.
“Not as much as I loved her,” he replied.  They stood in silence as the workers finished filling the grave and then left.  They remained even as it began to rain.  “I don’t know how to leave her here,” he said finally, a sob catching in his throat.
“Take her with you in your heart,” she replied.  David bowed his head for a moment before stepping away from her, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze.
“Let’s get out of the rain,” he murmured.  She nodded and walked with him to the car.

Grace walked in to Angela’s room late in her shift almost a week later.  She smiled sadly when she saw that there had been no change noted in the chart.
“Hey Ange,” she murmured, moving to the side of the bed and taking her friend’s hand.  “It would be so good if you could just squeeze my hand or blink your eyes… something I could tell him to give him hope,” she said.  Angela gave no response.  The only motion in the room was the rise and fall of her chest as the respirator helped her breathe.  Grace sighed, hanging her head for a moment.  The past week since Maggie’s funeral had seemed to drag by.  David spent every moment in the hospital by Angela’s side, only leaving when visiting hours were over.  He hadn’t returned to work, and she didn’t think he was eating or sleeping much at all.  “He misses you Ange,” she said, squeezing her hand one final time before walking to the door.  Just as she was about to open it, it swung toward her. Another doctor, a neurologist, came through the open door.
“Doctor Moore, I’m sorry,” he said with a smile.
“That’s alright Doctor Connelly.  I just stopped in to check on her for the night… before my shift ends,” she said, watching as he went to the foot of Angela’s bed.
“You’re friends with her… with her family aren’t you Doctor Moore?” he inquired, looking over the chart with a keen eye.  Grace nodded slowly.
“I’ve been friends with her husband since I was five… Angela is one of my closest friends.” Doctor Connelly looked at her and smiled sympathetically.
“I’m terribly sorry that there’s not more I can do.  I’ve tried speaking with her husband, but he refuses to even let me start talking.  Does he know how unlikely it is that she will wake up?” Grace shrugged helplessly.
“I honestly don’t know… I’m not sure he’s ready to consider that as a possibility.  He just buried his daughter; the thought of losing Angela too isn’t something he’s ready to face yet I don’t think.”
“I’ll be running some tests later in the week regarding brain function.  It’s very likely that I will find no activity… in fact that’s what I’m expecting.  Mr. Clark will have to start thinking about what he wants to do at that point.” Grace nodded, forcing herself to maintain an air of professionalism.
“Let me know when you want to talk with David about it.  It might go better if I’m there,” she said.  Doctor Connelly moved to leave, pausing for a moment to place a hand on her shoulder.
“Take a couple of days off Doctor Moore.  You look exhausted,” he said before leaving.

David walked out of Angela’s room at the end of visiting hours on evening, glancing up and down the corridor for Grace.  She’d been working that night; she’d come in to ask him how he was and if there was anything he needed.  Now that he was being kicked out of Angela’s room for the night, he needed to find her.  They’d spent a couple nights that she wasn’t working going out to eat or watching movies.  The time with her had really helped him keep his sanity.
“Have you seen Doctor Moore?” he asked one of the nurses at the desk.  She smiled kindly up at him.
“She went on a break.  It’s been a long night… sometimes she likes to go up to the roof for a breather on rough nights,” the woman explained.  He nodded his thanks and walked to the elevators.  There was no direct route from them to the roof, so he decided to take the stairs.  It was only a couple of flights up, and when he opened the door he spotted her instantly.  She was standing by the edge, arms braced on the wall with her head bent.
“Grace?” he asked.  She whirled around at the sound of his voice, forgetting to take a moment to wipe the tears from her face.  David frowned when he saw her puffy eyes and tear streaked cheeks.  “What’s wrong?” he asked, hurrying toward her.  She gave a little laugh, raking her fingers through her hair.
“Nothing.  I’m sorry… I’m fine.  It’s just been a long night,” she said, sniffling loudly and brushing tears from her face.  He regarded her seriously, shaking his own head.
“You’re not usually a big crier Gracie.  What happened?” She sighed and leaned back against the wall, sinking slowly to the ground.
“I’ve had some rough patients tonight and it just took a toll. Sometimes having a lot of sad cases really throws me for a loop.  I’m sorry you had to find me like this.” He sat down beside her and was silent for several moments.
“You don’t need to apologize for having a bad night.  I’ve had a couple of weeks of that, and I’m afraid to say that it might be a couple more weeks at least.” She smiled at him.
“You’ve got a pretty good reason,” she assured him.
“So do you.  Angela is your friend… you were close to Maggie.  You’ve been taking care of me and everyone else, just like you always do.  It’s been a bad week or two for everyone.” Grace nodded.
“It sure has,” she said softly.  He nodded, leaning his head back against the wall but saying nothing more.

David was seated beside Angela’s bed nearly three weeks after the accident.  He’d taken an extended leave of absence from work, and thankfully his boss had been understanding.  It was late in the afternoon, and he stifled a yawn.
“It’s been rainy all week long sweetheart,” he said, watching her face for any signs of acknowledgement.  There had been nothing in all of those weeks.  Angela hadn’t even fluttered an eyelash.  As he gazed at her though, he saw her eyes flutter open and then closed.  “Angela?  Baby can you hear me?” he demanded, squeezing her hand.  There was no further movement in her, but David stood and ran into the hallway.  A nurse was walking by.  “Page Doctor Connelly and Doctor Moore for me!” exclaimed.
“Is something wrong Mr. Clark?” she asked.
“No, no… just page them for me please!” he said, hurrying back into the room.  He was still talking to Angela excitedly when Doctor Connelly and Grace walked in.
“What’s wrong Mr. Clark?” Doctor Connelly asked, stepping to the foot of the bed.  Grace moved to the opposite side of the bed, quickly checking Angela’s vital signs.
“She opened her eyes,” he explained, smiling at Grace.  She didn’t smile back, simply looked to the other doctor.
“Mr. Clark, it’s fairly common for patients in this condition to have spontaneous movement like that.” There was a long moment of silence as Doctor Connelly pulled a chair to David’s side.  “We’ve run several more tests on Angela… she has no response to painful stimuli, her pupils are fixed and dilated.  She had no response to the caloric reflex test…” he trailed off, glancing at Grace.
“What are you saying?” David demanded.
“David, your wife is brain dead.  There is no brain activity.  If we removed her from the machines, she would stop breathing, her heart would stop, and she would die.” Grace watched as David shook his head, looking at Angela for a moment and then turning back to the neurologist.
“She opened her eyes… I was talking to her and she opened her eyes,” he said, looking to Grace for help.
“We can keep her on the machines for as long as you choose, but you have to understand that it is the machines keeping her alive.  Angela is no longer there,” Doctor Connelly explained.  David’s eyes narrowed and he turned back to Angela.
“I’d like you to leave now,” he muttered.  Doctor Connelly sighed softly, but turned and left the room.  Grace watched as David reached out and took Angela’s hand in his.
“David, are you OK?” she asked.  He looked up at her and smiled.
“He’s one doctor Grace… doctors are wrong all the time.  All she needs is a little bit of time to heal and recuperate.  She’s going to be fine,” he said.  Grace frowned.
“But David, Doctor Connelly…” David shook his head firmly.
“I don’t want to talk anymore about what he said, Gracie.  Angela is going to be fine.  That’s the only thing we’re going to talk about ok?  She’s going to be fine.”
“Alright,” she said softly, watching as he turned back to his wife and began to talk with her.  She left the room slowly and quietly, wondering how on earth to make him understand that there was nothing anyone could do to bring her back.

Grace knocked on David’s front door several days later.  She had the day off, and had decided to see if she could get to him early enough in the day so he wouldn’t be at the hospital.  The door opened and David motioned for her to come in.  He was on the telephone.
“No, Mr. Grayson I’m not sure you understand.  My wife needs me right now, so I’ll be with her.  Well if that’s the way you feel about it, find another journalist,” he said, hanging up the phone.  He smiled at Grace and plopped down on the couch.
“Did you just quit your job?” she asked with eyes wide.  David nodded, reaching up to scratch his head.  His hair was still rumpled from sleep, and he was wearing boxer shorts and a t-shirt.
“Yup.  He wanted me to come back to work and couldn’t seem to understand that I’d come back as soon as Angela was feeling better.  I can freelance if money gets tight,” he assured her.  Grace nodded slowly, looking around the room as she sat down.  Maggie’s toys were still strewn across the floor, and dirty dishes were piled in various places on tables and on the floor.
“You seem ok about it at least,” she said.  He nodded again.
“It’ll give me more time to spend at the hospital.  I can even work while I’m there… with my portfolio of work I’m sure I’ll get some lucrative work on the side.” Silence stretched between them for several moments.
“I have an idea,” she said suddenly.  David regarded her seriously.
“What?”
“It’s a really beautiful day out… no rain and pretty warm.  Do you want to go on a hike?” He shook his head, standing up and starting for the front hallway.
“I don’t think that’s a great idea.  I need to be at the hospital with Angela… all the articles I’m reading say that hearing the voice of a family member or friend can really make all the difference.  I wouldn’t want her to miss me,” he said.  Grace caught his arm and looked up at him.
“A couple of hours away isn’t going to hurt anything.  I have my pager, and they know to beep me if anything changes with her.” She paused and then added, “David you need to get out and do something other than sitting in the hospital.  It’s not good for you to be there all the time.”
“She’s my wife Grace,” he said, his eyes clouding over.  She smiled softly at him, squeezing his arm gently.
“I know.  I’m your best friend though, and I think it’s about time you gave yourself a couple of hours off.  They’ll page me if anything changes.” He bowed his head for a moment before nodding.
“Alright.”
“Why don’t you go take a shower, shave, and get dressed?  I’ll clean up down here,” she offered.  He started toward the stairs, but then paused before going up.  He looked at her with serious eyes.
“Leave the toys where they are,” he said.
“David,” she began.  He held up his hand.
“Grace, I know how crazy it is… but I need them where they are.  I cannot come into this house if it looks like she was never here.  Please leave them where they are.” She swallowed hard and nodded.
“OK.  Go get ready, by the time you’re back down here it’ll look like a brand new house,” she said, smiling.  He smiled too and jogged up the stairs.  Grace walked slowly back to the living room, stepping over the toys that were on the floor as she collected the dirty dishes and clothes that had been left so haphazardly around the room.  “How does he ever get past this?” she whispered to herself.

They went to Mt. Tom to hike to the summit.  It was a lovely hike that included both Beecher and Pearl Cascades.  It was a hike they used to take a lot as teenagers.
“Almost there,” Grace said, pointing ahead.  They had almost reached the summit.  It was mid afternoon, and they had spent the hike talking about old times and enjoying the scenery.  When they reached the summit they stood looking out across the valley in silence for several minutes.  There were several other hikers out that day that nodded their hellos.
“It’s been a long time since we hiked this trail,” he said, sitting down on a rock.  Grace smiled, sitting down next to him.
“This one was too hard for Maggie,” she said, and immediately regretted it in her anticipation of David’s mood plummeting.  He simply smiled though.
“She loved to hike with us though… those smaller ones with small elevation changes were great for her.  Angela was always saying that she’d kill me if Maggie wanted to take up rock climbing.” Grace laughed.
“Knowing Maggie, she would’ve wanted to take up hang gliding.  Do you remember the day we were out and she saw them coming off of one of the mountains.  She was so entranced by them… said they were like people birds.”
“When I think of all the things she could’ve done in her life, it breaks my heart,” he said.  Grace looked at him, reaching across the space that separated them to take his hand.
“Me too,” she murmured.  David laced his fingers through hers and let out a breath, smiling at her.
“Thank you for making me come today… I needed to do something like this,” he said.  He adjusted his backpack and tugged on the hem of his blue t-shirt before taking a drink of water from his nalgene bottle.
“I was just looking for some good company,” she said, reaching up to tighten the ponytail she’d put her hair in that morning.
“You should’ve found someone else in that case,” he said with a wink.  Grace smiled and stood up, holding out her hand to him.
“I found exactly the company I wanted,” she assured him as she pulled him to his feet.  They began to make their way back down the trail, this time in silence, as they each thought of this one good day that had come up in the face of so many bad ones.

They fell in to a routine.  On Grace’s days off they would hike somewhere, eat lunch, and usually go to the hospital to see Angela.  She would stay with him for awhile, but then claimed she needed to double check some patients.  She would leave him for an hour, and then return.  They would then go and have dinner somewhere, or make something at one of their houses and watch TV or a movie.  In between those days off, David would get up early and go to the hospital.  He arrived the moment visiting hours began, and remained beside Angela’s bed until visiting hours were over with the exception of eating lunch or dinner.  He had indeed found work, and had published several articles in the time since he’d quit his job.
“Have you had lunch yet?” Grace asked, coming in to Angela’s room.  She paused for a moment to brush hair from her friend’s face and then smiled at David.  He was typing on his laptop, but glanced up at her.
“Ummm… not yet.  Are you coming up for a break?” He watched as she grabbed the bottle of lotion from the table beside the bed, pumping some into her hands and rubbing it into the skin on Angela’s hands and arms gently.  He smiled as he watched.  ”You’re a good friend Grace,” he said.  She brought her gaze up to meet his and looked at him quizzically.
“What do you mean?” she asked, setting the lotion back down on the nightstand.  David motioned to her.
“You just do nice things for her.  It seems sometimes like everyone else here has given up on treating her like a person just because she isn’t awake.  You never treat her like she’s anything but herself.” Grace smiled and gave a shrug.
“Angela is one of my best friends.  As long as she’s here, I’ll do for her what she would’ve done for me,” she said.  David closed his laptop and stood up.
“Let’s go get some food, I’m starving,” he said.  She came around the bed to walk with him out of the room, glancing back at Angela as they left.

Grace arrived at David’s house one morning in May.  It was her day off and they had discussed going for a long hike that day.  The weather forecast was clear, and it looked to be a great day.  She rang the doorbell and waited for several minutes, frowning when there was no response from inside.  She tried the doorknob and was surprised when it turned.  She walked in, her frown deepening when she saw that all the lights were still off downstairs.
“David!” she called.  She walked through the downstairs and then slowly made her way upstairs.  He wasn’t showering or in his office.  Maggie’s bedroom door was open but he wasn’t there either.  She stopped in the hallway outside his bedroom, looking in and letting out a sigh.  He was there, sitting on the floor with his back against the bed looking at a picture of Angela.  “Hey,” she said, coming in to the room slowly.  He looked up at her and gave a helpless shrug.
“It’s been two months,” he said.
“I know,” she replied.  David looked back down at the picture.
“I don’t know why she hasn’t woken up yet.  I talk to her.  I read to her.  I’m there every day.  But she still just lays there.  I want her to wake up Grace.” She crouched down beside him, putting her hand on the side of his face and making him look at her.
“You know she’s not going to do that,” she said softly, looking at him seriously.  He got to his feet quickly, pacing back and forth as he clutched the picture to his chest.
“Yes she will!  She has to!  She has to,” he said, stopping and looking at her with wide eyes.  Grace drew in a deep breath.
“David, Angela is brain dead.  She is never going to wake up… and that’s not your fault.  You love her and she knows that, but you have to let her go,” she said.  He threw the picture past her and she jumped when it hit the wall and exploded in a shower of glass and metal.
“Fuck you Grace,” he said, turning away from her.  He leaned against the wall, hitting it with his fists several times.  Grace stepped toward him, putting her hands on his upper arms.
“Let her go David,” she said again.  He gave a sharp intake of breath and let it out with a shudder, leaning into the wall as he began to sob.  Grace wrapped her arms around him.
“I can’t lose them both,” he said.  She held him tightly, rubbing slow circles in his back.
“She’s already gone,” she said.  There was no more conversation after that, just the sound of his sobs as he began to accept that his family was gone.

They turned off life support on June second; it had taken Grace several days to convince David that it was the right thing.  He stayed by his wife’s side for several hours after the machines were off, in the horrible stillness of that room.  Grace had stayed with him, saying nothing, and then watched as he walked out without even looking at her.  The funeral was held four days after, and Grace stood in the crowd of people that surrounded Angela’s grave.  David was seated in a folding chair, wearing a pair of sunglasses despite the fact that it was overcast and threatening to rain.  He hadn’t returned any of her calls, and when she’d gone to the house to check on him he hadn’t answered and the door had been locked.  She glanced up as the preacher finished his reading.  Several people stepped forward to place a rose on the casket, and then stopped to speak with David.  She watched as he nodded, but said nothing.  Grace stood where she was, watching as everyone left.  David remained seated as she moved to his side.
“David?” she asked, reaching out and placing a hand on his shoulder.  He stared straight ahead, at the coffin no overflowing with flowers.  When he didn’t answer Grace crouched down in front of him.  “David can you hear me?” He nodded slowly, glancing away and reaching up to remove his sunglasses.  His eyes were bloodshot, and dark circles lined them.
“What do you want Grace?” he said softly, standing up.  She shook her head, staying in her crouched position and watching as he moved to stand closer to his wife’s grave.
“I’m worried about you… I want to help, and I don’t know how.  I want to…” David turned to look at her, shaking his head and frowning.
“That’s just it Grace, you can’t help.  Nobody can help.  Nobody can fix this.  Angela is gone.  Maggie is gone.  My life is gone, and nothing you can do is going to make that better.” Tears slid down his cheeks slowly and David reached up to brush them away with an angry swipe of his hand.
“I know I…”
“You don’t know anything,” he muttered, turning and stalking to his car.  Grace sank slowly to a sitting position, looking at the grave for a moment before starting to cry.

It was July before Grace heard from David again.  In that month she had thrown herself into work, trying to forget that her last conversation with her best friend had been so awful.  She had forced herself to resist calling him or stopping by to see him, convinced that he didn’t want to see her.  One morning she was awakened by her doorbell ringing.  Grace pushed her pillow off of her head and glanced at the clock, frowning.  It was only eight, and she hadn’t gotten home from her shift at the hospital until nearly two.
“Who the heck could that be?” she muttered to herself, frowning even more deeply when the doorbell rang again.  She climbed out of bed, pausing to pull on a pair of shorts.  As she made her way down the hall she ran her fingers through her sleep tousled hair.  The doorbell rang again just as she opened the door.  David stood outside, looking just as exhausted as she was.  He looked at her, frowning slightly at her disheveled appearance.
“I woke you up,” he said.  Grace nodded slowly.
“Umm… yeah.  It’s ok though.  What are you doing here?” she asked.  He glanced down at his feet for a long moment before bringing his gaze up to meet hers.
“A couple reasons,” he replied, leaning against the door jam.  “I… I messed up the last time I saw you.  I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you or taken all that out on you.  I just didn’t know how I was supposed to be there or be anywhere ever again.  I still don’t know.” Grace watched as he let out a breath and raked his fingers through his hair.  “I’m sorry,” he said, looking at her seriously.  She smiled.
“It’s OK.” They stood in the doorway for several moments, silent, before she said, “Do you want to come in?” He nodded and she opened the door wider so he could walk past her.  He went into the living room and sat down on the couch, watching as Grace came in and sat down on the opposite end.  She sat Indian style facing him, with her head resting against the back of the couch.
“Why didn’t you call me?” he asked suddenly, watching her closely.  Grace shrugged, glancing away for a moment.
“I didn’t think you wanted to talk to me,” she said.  David frowned and let out a sigh.
“When have I ever not wanted to talk to you Gracie?” She smiled and gave another shrug.
“This situation is kind of different… I just didn’t know what I was supposed to do.  Why didn’t you call me?”
“I was afraid to,” he said.  It was Grace’s turn to frown.
“Why were you afraid to call me?”
“I was scared that you wouldn’t forgive me for acting like such a jerk… and I didn’t think I could handle losing the last person in my life that mattered.” Her eyes softened as she reached out to give his hand a squeeze.
“David, you’re never going to lose me.  You’ve been my best friend forever… thirty years of friendship doesn’t get tossed out the window because you say something when you’re upset.” He let out a slow breath and smiled.  They sat in silence for several minutes.  Grace watched as his eyes closed and she said, “You look like hell.” He opened an eye to look at her, his eyebrow raised.
“…Thanks?” he said.  She laughed.
“When’s the last time you got a good night’s sleep?” David sighed and shrugged his shoulders.
“I don’t know Grace.  Not recently if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“Come on,” she said, standing up and holding out her hand to him.  He looked up at her warily.
“What?”
“You’re going to bed.  Let’s go.  If I have to I’ll go to the hospital and get you something to help you sleep, but you need to get some rest.”
“It’s daytime,” he said, glancing out the window. Grace put her hand on her hip, frowning down at him.
“That doesn’t matter if you haven’t slept in three months.  Come on, let’s go,” she ordered.  He took her hand and let her pull him to his feet, following her to her bedroom.  He kicked off his shoes and tugged his jeans off before crawling into her bed.  Grace pulled the covers up around him and smiled.  “There.  Get some rest OK?  If you need me to, I’ll prescribe you something that will help.  You need to get some sleep though.” David nodded, watching as she walked back toward the door.
“Grace will you do me a favor?” he asked.  She turned and nodded.
“Anything,” she replied.
“Will you just lay next to me until I fall asleep?  I… I can’t get used to not feeling someone beside me,” he said.  Grace walked back to the bed and plopped down beside him.  She rolled on to her side and placed a kiss on his forehead before turning on to her back.
“Get some sleep,” she murmured, watching as he nodded and rolled on to his side.

Grace came awake slowly, frowning because it was so dark in her room.  Her eyes focused slowly on the clock and she let out a breath when she saw that it was nearly nine.  She started to roll over, but stopped abruptly.  David was still asleep, and his arm was flung across her waist.  At her movement he tightened his hold on her, pulling her back against his chest.  She thought back briefly, to when they were in high school and used to lay in the football field in the summers talking and watching the clouds roll by.  Everyone had thought they were dating, or should be.  They never had.  There had been one time, their senior year, that they had almost kissed but Grace had pushed him away at the last minute.  When her mother had died during college, David had been there for her.  He had stayed with her at her mother’s house, and she had woken up in the night just like this.  His arm had been around her, his face against the back of her neck and his breath fanning lightly across the skin there.  Grace closed her eyes for a moment, shoving the feeling in the pit of her stomach down deeper.  After taking a deep breath she opened her eyes, sliding her hand across his arm and giving it a gentle squeeze.
“David?” she murmured.  He made a soft sound in his sleep, moving his arm slightly until his hand was resting on her stomach.  Grace swallowed hard; she couldn’t remember the last time someone had held her that way.  With a shake of her head she gave him a harder nudge.  “Wake up sleepy head,” she said.  She could tell by the shift in his body that he had come awake, but he didn’t move.  “You awake?” she asked.  He nodded slowly.
“Give me a second,” he said.  She lay there, wrapped up in his arms for another minute or two, feeling him breathe.
“David what are you…”
“I just missed waking up like this,” he said as he rolled away from her, laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling.  “You have no idea how much I missed feeling someone here when I wake up.” When Grace didn’t reply he said, “Hell, I’m sorry Gracie.  I don’t mean to make it sound like you’re just some substitute filling in.” She rolled on to her side so she was facing him, brushing hair from her face.
“It’s OK.  Right now I kind of am,” she said, smiling for a moment before leaning closer to place a kiss on his cheek.  There was another moment of silence.  “It’s late.  Do you want to get something to eat?  Or do you want to sleep some more?  I honestly can’t believe I fell asleep for so long,” she said as she sat up.  David watched as she stretched and stood up, rolling the waistband of her shorts twice and then looking at him.  “I could order pizza,” she offered.  He smiled.
“I can’t remember the last time I had pizza,” he said.  Grace grinned, pulling her hair up into a ponytail.
“Then it’s about time you had some.  I’ll go order.  If you want to nap some more feel free.  I’ll come get you when the pizza is here.” David shook his head, sliding out of bed.
“No, I’ll get up.” She nodded and started from the room.  David caught her arm, just above the elbow, “Hang on a second.”  She looked up at him, still smiling.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you Gracie,” he said.  She reached up and put her hand on the side of his face, smiling gently.
“Do you want pepperoni or plain cheese?” she asked, stepping away and moving up the hall.

Grace wiped sweat from her forehead, coming out of an examination room and throwing her plastic gloves into a trash can and moving toward the locker room.  It had been a long night, complete with one gunshot victim and a bad car accident.  All patients under her care were stable now, and she was more than ready to go home.  She had plans to go hiking with David the next morning, and wanted to be well rested.  Since he’d come to her house three weeks before, they had begun hiking again on a regular basis.
“Clocking out Doctor Moore?” a voice asked.  Grace turned, smiling at Mark O’Hanlon.  He was a young cardiologist.  All of the nurses had crushes on the handsome, accomplished surgeon.  Grace could see the appeal; he was tall, had blonde hair and bright blue eyes.
“Yes, I’m finally finished here.  How about you?” she asked, pulling her scrub top over her head.  She was wearing a tank top underneath, and she walked to the corner and tossed her dirty top into the hamper.
“I just finished a bypass.  It’ll be good to get home and sleep,” he said, pulling off his own scrub top and tossing it into the hamper.  He took a clean T-shirt from his locker and tugged it over his head.  Grace was pulling a backpack from her locker, and he smiled a little as she pulled her hair from its ponytail.  “I was wondering something,” he said.  Grace turned, smiling at him.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She gave him a wry smile, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.
“What were you wondering?” she asked.  She kicked off her clogs and sat down to put on her sneakers.
“I was wondering if you’d like to go out some time,” he said.  She looked at her feet for a moment before bringing her gaze up to his.  She smiled a little, glancing back down and then nodding.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” she said.  Mark smiled too, taking a piece of paper from his locker and scribbling something on it.  He held it out to her and she took it.
“My number,” he said.  Grace folded the paper in half, ripping it along the seam she’d created.
“Let me borrow your pen,” she said.  Mark held it out to her and she took it from him, their fingers brushing.  She wrote down her own number and handed him the paper and pen.
“That’s my number.  I work the next three days on 3-11… but I’m off on Saturday.” He smiled.
“I’ll give you a call or I’ll see you around here I’m sure,” he promised, walking by her slowly.  He reached out and squeezed her shoulder gently before walking out of the locker room.  Grace sat in stunned silence for several more moments before smiling to herself and leaving.

David leaned against a tall pine tree, glancing at Grace.  She’d stopped as well and was tipping her head back, drinking deeply from her water bottle.
“I didn’t think it was supposed to be this hot today,” he said, taking out his own water and taking a big gulp from it.  Grace shook her head and plopped down on a large rock.
“Me neither.  Do you want to head back down now?  We could do something else today,” she said.  David shook his head and grinned.
“It’s not too much further, and I know there’s a nice waterfall up there.  It should be a lot cooler by the water.” Grace nodded and watched as he came to stand in front of her, holding out his hand.  She took it and let him pull her to her feet.  They walked in silence, pacing themselves against the humidity.  It took another fifteen minutes, but they reached the waterfall.  It was fairly small, but the combination of large pines and water added up to a very cool spot.  There was a fairly large pond and Grace walked to the edge.
“I don’t remember this being here when we were younger,” she said, glancing at him over her shoulder.  He shook his head.
“I think it’s something that grew over time… it was a lot smaller when we hiked here the last time.  I told you it would be cooler here,” he said, moving to stand beside her.  They had passed one or two other hikers near the beginning of the trail, but most people had avoided hiking due to the heat and humidity.  “I brought Maggie here one time,” he said suddenly.  Grace looked up at him.  He was staring out across the pond, his eyes far away as he remembered.
“How old was she?”
“She was about two… Angela was working on something for her master’s degree and needed some time by herself.  So I brought her out on this trail.  It’s not too hard, and it’s one of the only ones I really like that I could carry Maggie through.  She rode on my shoulders most of the way.  She thought this waterfall was really neat,” he said, turning to look at her.  He smiled sadly.
“It is pretty neat.”  David nodded.
“Yes.” She watched as he ran his hands over his face roughly.  “That feels like it was just yesterday, you know?  I can’t believe all this time has passed since that day, or since the day I watched them burry her.  I can’t believe it’s been five months,” he murmured.  Grace reached out and took his hand in hers.
“Neither can I.” After another moment she gave him a nudge.  David looked down at her quizzically, then smiled as she did.  She nudged him again and he nudged her back.  Soon they were wrestling, laughing as they tried to gain purchase and topple the other.  It was Grace who finally got him off balance, but he hung on to her as he fell backwards.  They landed with a tremendous splash in the pond, coming up in a tangle of limbs.  They were both laughing, brushing water from their faces.
“I can’t believe you did that,” he said trying to look serious.  Grace laughed and sent a splash of water his way before pulling herself back onto land.  David did the same, flopping down beside her and staring up at the trees.
“We need to remember to laugh,” she said, glancing at him.  He looked at her and nodded slowly.
“Yes, we do,” he said softly, looking back up at the trees.  Grace watched him for another minute before turning her attention to the trees.

David and Grace sat on his porch steps the following afternoon, drinking large glasses of iced tea.  They had gone for another hike that day, despite the rain.
“It was better today… not as humid,” she said, leaning back against the railing post.  Her hair was hanging loose around her shoulders.
“Got just as wet today as I did yesterday,” he said with a wink.  Grace laughed and shook her head.
“I don’t think so.”
“What time do you go in today?” he asked, standing and moving toward the front door.  Grace followed him in, glancing into the living room as she walked past.  Maggie’s toys were still strewn across the floor.  She let out a small sigh, but followed David into the kitchen.
“I’m heading in at five today, got someone to cover the first two hours of my shift so I could do some laundry.”
“I’m taking up too much of your time during the day,” he said.  Grace put her glass into the sink and shook her head.
“No, I’m just the queen of procrastination.  I hate laundry more than I hate absolutely anything else on this planet.  I’ve been putting it off for over a week,” she explained.  David smiled.
“You never were much for doing laundry.  Do you remember that time I stopped on my way through to give you a ride home from college and you had three or four big bags of dirty clothes?  I thought your mother was going to kill you,” he said.  Grace laughed.
“She nearly did.  She couldn’t understand how I left that for so long.  Mom was such a fantastic housekeeper that she was a little disappointed it didn’t wear off on me more.”
“You’re off Saturday?” he inquired, opening the refrigerator and taking out a bag of deli turkey.  Grace nodded her head and watched as he began to make himself a sandwich.
“Yes.  I can’t remember the last time I had the day off, especially on a Saturday.  I can’t wait,” she said.
“Want a sandwich?” Grace shook her head and watched as he finished making his and took a big bite.  “Do you want to go over and do some hiking in Vermont Saturday?  There are some great trails over there,” he said.  Grace glanced down at the floor, swallowing hard.
“I um… I can’t,” she muttered.  David frowned a little at her expression.
“Why not?  Is something the matter?”
“Oh, no.  Nothing’s the matter David.  I just already have plans on Saturday.” He smiled a little, watching as she squirmed.
“Plans?” he prompted.  Grace looked up at him and rolled her eyes.
“I have a date David,” she said.
“Ooooo a date,” he teased.  She sighed, leaning back against the kitchen counter.
“Yes, a date.”
“Who’s the lucky guy?” he asked.  She pulled at a loose thread in her shorts and glanced up at him.  Her hair fell over her shoulder at the movement.
“He’s a cardiologist at the hospital… Mark O’Hanlon.” David nodded.
“That’s great Gracie.  Let me know how it goes?” She nodded, pushing away from the counter.  She walked to his side, pausing to give him a hug and a quick kiss on his cheek.
“I’ll call you,” she promised.  “Gotta’ head home and do the laundry.  Talk to you later?” He nodded and gave her hand a quick squeeze.
“Yup.  Have a good night tonight Grace.” She smiled and walked out.  David listened as the front door opened and closed.  With a sigh he walked into the living room, looking around at the toys laying on the floor.  He sat down on the couch, holding his sandwich in one hand as the silence surrounded him.

Grace opened her front door and smiled at Mark.  He was wearing a blue polo shirt that brought out the color in his eyes and a pair of khaki pants.
“Hey,” he said, flashing a grin.  She tucked her hair behind her ear and glanced down at her own outfit.  She’d chosen a jean skirt and a red tank top.
“Hi.  I wasn’t sure where we’d be going… will this be OK?” Mark nodded, leaning closer and placing a soft kiss on her cheek.
“You look great.  I thought we’d go to that new Italian place downtown.  Do you like Italian?” She nodded and came out, closing the door behind herself.  They walked to his car and she smiled again as he opened the door for her.  They talked easily as he drove, and by the time they were seated at the restaurant Grace’s nerves had settled substantially.
“What made you want to be a cardiologist?” she asked after they’d ordered their dinner.  Mark shrugged.
“I had a friend when I was young that was born with a congenital heart defect.  He was in and out of the hospital all the time… and then when we were in high school he got pretty sick.  He died waiting for a heart transplant.”
“That’s horrible,” Grace said.  Mark smiled sadly.
“It was.  I decided that even though I couldn’t help Chris, I would try to help other people.” She smiled, glancing up as their waitress came with their food.
“This looks wonderful,” she observed, placing her napkin on her lap.  They ate in silence for several minutes.
“What about you?  Why emergency medicine?” Grace wiped the corners of her mouth with her napkin and then smiled at him.
“It was nothing quite as noble as yours,” she kidded.  Mark laughed.  “I wanted to become a doctor because my father was a doctor.  I got through all this school, and as I was doing rotations I was so bored with everything they had us doing.  Then I hit my emergency rotation and it was like a light bulb went on.  My father had wanted me to go into something else… something more respectable.  He got over it eventually though, when he saw how excited I was about it.  I couldn’t imagine doing anything else.” They finished eating and she smiled as he paid the check.
“Up for a movie?” he asked, looking across the table at her.  Grace smiled and nodded.
“Absolutely,” she said.

Grace awoke the following morning, a smile still on her face.  The night before had been so good she could hardly believe it.  A quick glance at the clock told her it was ten thirty.  She smiled a little wider, snuggling into her pillows a little more deeply.  The doorbell rang, causing her to jump.  With a sigh she got out of bed and walked to the front door, opening it and smiling at David.
“Hey,” she greeted, holding the door open so he could come in.
“Morning.  Did you just wake up?” he asked, going in to the kitchen.  Grace blushed a little and nodded, pulling her hair back as she started a pot of coffee.
“Yes, I did,” she replied, scooping coffee into a filter and then taking a moment to fill the pot with water.  David watched as she poured the water into the coffee maker and set the pot down underneath the brewing coffee.
“Must’ve had a late night,” he teased.  Grace tossed a wet dish towel at him.
“Laugh it up,” she shot back.  David grinned and tossed the dish cloth into the sink, watching as she sat down at the table.
“Good date Gracie?” She looked him and smiled.
“Yes, it was a good date.  We went to that new Italian place down on River Street and then to the movies.” She glanced out the window for a long moment and then turned back to him, still smiling broadly.  “It was a really good night,” she admitted.  David smiled at her, plopping down in the chair across from her.
“I’m glad.  Think you’ll go out with him again?” She shrugged, playing with the fringe on one of the placemats.
“I hope so.”
“I bet he’ll ask you out again the next time he sees you… if he can wait that long.  I bet he’ll call today,” he said.  Grace laughed and shook her head, standing and going to the coffee pot and pouring herself a cup.
“Want some?” she asked.  He shook his head.  She sat back down and put some milk in her coffee, taking a sip.  “Do you feel like going and doing that five mile loop?”
“Sounds good to me.  Would you mind stopping by my house so I could change before we went?” Grace shook her head, finishing her coffee and carrying her cup to the sink.
“Nope.  I’m going to go get my sneakers on so we can head out.”

David had been right in his guess that Mark would ask her out again.  In fact, they went out five more times in the next two weeks.  They had gone to several restaurants after or before her shift, and one day they had gone to an art showing.
“Are we still on for tonight?” Mark asked one afternoon.  He was wearing scrubs, and had a surgical mask hanging from his neck.  Grace smiled at him and nodded.
“Yeah.  Do you want me to just meet you at your place?  I’m on here until seven, so it’ll be a late dinner.” Mark leaned down and placed a quick kiss on her lips.
“That’s fine.  I’ll cook tonight… feeling brave?” She laughed.
“Worst comes to worst we order a pizza,” she kidded.  Mark laughed too, giving her another kiss.
“I’ll see you later tonight.  I just finished up in the OR.  I need to do the follow up consultation, then I can go home and get the place presentable for you.”
“Alright.  See you tonight.” She watched as he walked up the hall, the smile stuck on her face.
“You two are seeing a lot of each other,” a voice said.  Grace turned, smiling at Megan.
“It’s been a good few weeks,” Grace said, walking with the young nurse toward the break room.  She put change into the soda machine and pushed the button for a diet Pepsi.  They each sat down, knowing it might be the last time that night they’d actually sit.
“Everyone is so jealous.  Doctor O’Hanlon was at the top of a lot of lists,” Megan said.  Grace took a sip of her soda and laughed.
“He’s a really sweet guy,” she agreed.
“Come on Grace, he’s a lot more than just sweet.  Don’t tell me you don’t think he’s incredibly attractive.” Grace blushed.
“Yes, he is attractive,” she murmured, glancing up at the television.
“You’re lucky, that’s all I’m saying,” Megan said.  Grace nodded, frowning as her beeper began to go off.
“You jinxed me,” she said with a wink, standing and jogging from the room to answer the emergency page.

Grace rang the doorbell at Mark’s apartment, leaning against the wall and stifling a yawn.  She had called to tell him she would be late, and he had insisted she still come.  The door opened and he smiled at her.  She was still wearing her scrubs, and her hair was piled on her head in a messy ponytail.
“Long night?” he asked, holding the door open for her.  She nodded and kicked off her sneakers.
“I don’t understand how there can be so much happening at one time sometimes.  I had three car wrecks come in tonight, in the span of an hour and a half.  Two casualties,” she muttered, plopping down on his sofa.  Mark sat down beside her, putting his hands on her shoulders and turning her so he could massage them gently.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured.  She leaned back into him, letting out a long sigh.
“No, I am.  I’m so late, and you probably cooked… I really didn’t intend on getting out of there so late tonight.” Mark placed a light kiss on the side of her neck.
“No worries Grace.  What was it you said earlier?  Worst comes to worst we can order a pizza,” he said.  She looked at him over her shoulder and smiled.
“Thank you,” she said.  He gave her shoulders another squeeze and got to his feet.
“Why don’t you go shower?  I’ll order the pizza, and by the time you get out it’ll be here and we can eat.” Grace stood up, catching his hand before he could walk away.  “You OK?” he asked.  She nodded, stepping toward him and standing on her tip toes so she could kiss him.
“I’m great,” she said, pulling away and starting up the hall.  Mark smiled and watched as she went.
“There are clean towels under the sink!” he called.  She smiled at him over her shoulder and disappeared into the bathroom.

They had decided to eat while watching a movie.  They sprawled out on his bed, eating until they were stuffed.  When they were done, Grace snuggled up to him and turned her full attention to the movie.  It wasn’t long before she was asleep, and Mark smiled at her light snoring.  He glanced at his watch and turned off the movie.
“Wake up Grace,” he murmured, giving her shoulder a little shake.  Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at him sheepishly.
“I’m a barrel of laughs tonight,” she said.  Mark laughed softly, brushing hair from her face.  It was still damp.
“You’re fine,” he assured her.  She drew in a deep breath as his hand slid to the back of her neck and he kissed her.  Grace slid her hand to his waist, curling her fingers around the material of his T-shirt as the kiss went on.  Mark moved slowly, his hand first resting on her hip and then gliding under her shirt.  His fingers stilled on her skin, pulling away to look at her for a moment.  She smiled at him, moving her own hand to the back of his neck and pulling him back into a kiss.  He rolled on top of her carefully hands moving over the firm skin on her stomach slowly.  Grace wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling the bottom of his T-shirt up his back.  Mark pulled away and tugged the shirt over his head, tossing it to the ground before moving his mouth back to hers.  He pulled away again several moments later, helping her sit up and then pulling her shirt over her head.  He kissed her again as she laid back, pulling away to look at her.  His hands moved over her and Grace shuddered.
“It’s been awhile since I’ve done this,” she said, looking at him seriously.  Mark smiled, his mouth moving over her slowly.  When he looked at her again he ran his thumb across her cheek gently.
“Believe it or not, it has been for me too,” he said before kissing her.

Grace’s eyes fluttered open and she looked up toward the nightstand.  A frown drifted across her face when she didn’t see her alarm clock, and then she smiled when she remembered that she was at Mark’s house.  His arm was wrapped loosely around her waist, and he was snoring softly.  She snuggled back against him, closing her eyes and smiling as he tightened his hold on her.  He placed a sleepy kiss between her shoulders, then another on her neck.
“Keep that up and you’ll have trouble,” he murmured.  Grace laughed, rolling over so she could look at him.  His blonde hair was tousled and his eyes were still drowsy.
“I’m a big fan of trouble,” she said, her hand sliding down his chest slowly.  Mark kissed her, long and hard.
“So I recall,” he teased when he pulled away.  “Are you off today?” he asked, rolling on to his back and pulling her against him.  Grace nodded.
“I sure am,” she said with relief in her voice.  She let out a little sigh as his hand moved up her bare back and then began tracing slow circles against her spine.
“Feel like laying in bed all day?” he asked, hand sliding over her hip and pulling her closer.  Grace smiled and moved so she could kiss him. After a moment she pulled away, sliding her fingers through his hair as she looked down at him.
“I actually have to meet up with my friend David today,” she said.  Mark nodded, pulling her close so he could kiss her neck.
“He’s the one you told me about right?” She nodded, trying to ignore the fact that his mouth was moving against her neck causing her heart to pound and her stomach to do flips.
“Mmhmm.  We’ve been friends since we were five,” she said.  Mark nodded, moving slowly so he was on top of her.
“What time are you meeting up with him?” he asked, sliding his mouth to her stomach.  Grace made a soft sound in the back of her throat as her hand came to hold the back of his head.
“Not until noon… lunch and then a hike,” she answered.
“Good,” he murmured.

Grace jogged up the porch steps and rang David’s doorbell.  He opened the door and smiled at her.
“Ready?” he asked, coming out carrying his day pack and a water bottle.  She nodded and followed him to his SUV.  He started it and backed out of the driveway, putting it in gear and starting down the road.
“We’re doing Mt. Chocorua today?” she asked as they drove along.  David nodded, pulling on to the highway.
“Yeah. I know that it’s a good hike, has a loop but it also has some reliable water.”
“This is the trail that has Pitcher and Chapney falls right?”
“Sure does.” Grace smiled, looking out the window to watch the scenery passing.  After several minutes of silence, David glanced at her.
“You’re awfully quiet today,” he observed.  She gave a startled jump and turned back toward him, blushing a bright pink and raking her fingers through her hair.
“Oh!  I’m sorry… I guess I’m just spacing out,” she said.  David looked back to the road and then glanced back at her.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Umm… nothing,” she said.  David raised an eyebrow, reaching over and giving her a nudge.
“Come on Gracie, this is me.  What’s up?  Are you OK?”
“Yeah, I’m great actually.  I had a really good date with Mark last night, that’s all,” she said.  David smiled and thought for a moment.
“How good?” he asked.  Grace punched his shoulder, glaring at him.
“Seriously David,” she said.  He laughed.
“So it was really good then,” he said with a nod.  Grace laughed, but said nothing further.  They soon arrived at the head of the trail and got out of the car.  He watched as Grace pulled her hair back and braided it quickly.  She glanced at him and gave a small smile.
“Ready to hike?” she asked.   David put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze.
“Are you going to give me all the details while we hike or are you going to keep being all secretive?” Grace slid her arm around his waist as they walked.  She drew in a deep breath and let it out, smiling up at him as she began to tell him about her night.

Grace was woken up by beeping several weeks later.  She sat up on her elbows and watched as Mark leaned over and picked up his pager from the nightstand.  He looked at the number and let out a sigh.
“What is it?” she asked.  He glanced at her and grimaced.
“Emergency page from the hospital.  Let me call in real quick,” he murmured, leaning toward her and kissing her quickly before getting out of bed and dialing the hospital. He was pulling on his boxers as he waited for someone to answer.  “This is Doctor O’Hanlon returning your page,” he said.  Grace watched as he listened to whoever was on the other end of the call.  He let out a sigh and bowed his head.  “Thanks for calling,” he muttered, hanging up.  Grace jumped as his hand collided with the wall and he cursed.
“What’s the matter?” she asked, sitting up completely.  He shook his head, walking from the room without saying anything.  Grace frowned, getting up to follow him.  She wrapped a sheet around herself and padded down the hall.  He was sitting in the living room, forehead resting on his palms.  She hesitated for a moment, watching him from the doorway.  She took a deep breath and moved slowly to his side, sitting down next to him and sliding her hand over his bare back.  They sat there in silence for several minutes, her hand moving in slow circles.  “Can I help?” she murmured.  Mark raked his fingers through his hair and turned his head to look at her.
“Just bad news about a patient… she was waiting for a transplant and it didn’t come soon enough,” he explained.  Grace frowned sympathetically.
“Oh I’m so sorry Mark,” she said.  He gave a tight smile and shook his head, leaning back into the cushions on the back of the couch with a sigh.
“It’s alright.  Some patients just make a bigger impression I guess… she was one of them.  She was only eleven,” he said.  Grace took his hand in hers, lacing her fingers through his and squeezing gently.  She looked at him, hair cascading over her shoulder.  His eyes were closed, and even in the dark she could see that his features were filled with sadness.  He opened his eyes and looked at her for a long moment.  He slid his hand slowly over her shoulder, stopping to rest on the back of her neck.
“Going to be OK?” she asked.  Mark nodded slowly.
“Mmhmm.  Come here,” he said softly as he pulled her toward him.  She went willingly into his arms, closing her eyes as they kissed.  His hands moved to her waist, pulling her into his lap slowly.  Grace straddled his waist, kissing him deeply.  Her hands moved up his chest, stopping when they were on each of his shoulders.  After several minutes she pulled away, standing up and holding out her hand to him.
“Come back to bed,” she said, looking at him seriously.  Mark took her hand and got to his feet, wrapping his arms around her waist and starting to kiss her neck as they moved back up the hall and to the bedroom.

Mark had a conference in Seattle at the beginning of October.  Grace brought him to the airport, kissing him goodbye as he stood in line for the security checkpoint.  When she left the airport she called David.
“Hey, are we still hanging out today?” she asked when he answered.
“Yeah.  My ankle is still screwed up from the other day though, so I don’t think I’m up to a hike.”
“Want me to bring over an ace bandage with some movies?” she asked with a smile.  He laughed.
“You know I’m only still friends with you for the free medical consultation,” he said.  Grace laughed too.
“I figured as much.  I’ll be over in a little while OK?”
“I’ll be here.  Let yourself in, because I might actually take a shower at some point.” Grace turned into the parking lot at her apartment complex.
“Careful now David, you wouldn’t want to spoil me,” she said.
“Goodbye Grace,” he said, a smile in his voice.  She grinned and hung up, going up the stairs that led to her apartment.  She unlocked the front door and went inside, going to her bedroom to take off what she’d worn to the airport.  A note on her pillow caught her eye, and she picked it up.  Her name was written across the front in Mark’s sloppy handwriting, and she smiled as she unfolded it.

Grace,
I miss you already.  Keep my side of the bed warm.
Mark

She smiled more broadly, setting the note on her nightstand before going into the bathroom.  She turned on the water, letting it warm up for a moment before stepping underneath.  She was still smiling as she began to wash up.

David watched as Grace finished wrapping his ankle.  She smiled at him as she stood up, only to plop down beside him on the couch.
“Looks like a pretty bad sprain.  You should actually have it x-rayed to be sure there isn’t anything more than that.” He groaned, his head falling back against the back of the couch.
“Come on Grace, be serious.” She patted his thigh with a smile.
“That was me being serious.  You can wait a week or so to see if it improves any, but I really think you should have it looked at a bit more thoroughly than I can do in your living room.”
“I’ll pass on the ER trip today.  Should I have crutches or anything?” She looked at him for a long moment.
“Well, I don’t know,” she hedged.  David looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
“You don’t know?” he repeated incredulously.  She shrugged.
“What I meant was… you’re not working back at an office or anything yet?  I just… if you don’t have anything that you have to be up and around for you can just stay off of it as much as possible.”
“I’m still doing freelance work,” he said.  She smiled.
“No big deal then.  If you want I can hang out here instead of my place.  Mark is out of town for the next week and a half at that conference.  I’ll be working, but I can set you up pretty well before I leave for my shift every day.  When I’m here you’ll have someone to answer your every whim.”
“You don’t want to wait on me Gracie,” he said.  She laughed and gave another shrug, kicking off her sneakers and curling her feet underneath herself.
“It’d be fun.  It’ll be just like when we were kids and had sleepovers,” she said with a grin.  David smiled too.
“If you feel like doing this, I’m not going to argue.”
“Alright then.  Let me go make something for lunch.  You stay put,” she said, standing up.  She stepped over the toys as she made her way to the doorway leading to the hall.
“Hey Grace?” he called.  She paused and looked at him.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks,” he said with a smile.  She grinned, turning and continuing toward the kitchen.

Mark called her late that night as she took a breather from the crazy night she was having at the hospital.
“Hey there,” she said when she answered.
“Hey yourself,” he responded, and she could hear the smile in his voice.  She leaned back against the wall, watching as cars came and went in the emergency room parking lot.
“How as the flight?” she asked.
“It was alright… long though.  Did you get my note?” She smiled.
“Yes I did.  Thank you, it made me smile.”
“Good, I like achieving my goals.  How’s work?” She shook her head slowly.
“It’s a zoo tonight.  There must be something in the water, because we’ve had all kinds of crazies in here.  I’ll be glad when I’m off.”
“Sorry you’re having such a rough night.  Did you have fun with David earlier?”
“Yeah.  You know how I told you he twisted his ankle the other day?”
“Mmhmm.”
“I think he’s sprained it pretty badly.  Of course he’s being stubborn and doesn’t want to go to the hospital, so I’m going to stay at his place for a couple of days to make sure he stays off of it.”
“Don’t do too much Grace.  You take care of people all day… you need your rest when you go home,” he said.
“I know.  Don’t worry though, I’ll be fine.  You don’t mind I’m staying there do you?” she asked.  Mark gave a little laugh.
“Of course I don’t.” She let out a little breath of relief.
“Don’t sound so shocked.  I’ve dated people before that didn’t understand how a woman and man can be friends, especially not best friends.”
“I trust you,” he said simply.  Grace smiled.
“Thanks.” She looked up as an ambulance turned in to the bay and said, “Damnit.  I have to go… we’ve got a bus coming in.”
“Alright.  Do good, I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Mark?” she said as she moved to greet the ambulance.
“Yeah?”
“I miss you,” she said, smiling.
“I miss you too beautiful,” he said.  She hung up the phone, putting it in her pocket as the doors to the ambulance opened and paramedics began to call out stats to her.

Grace had been at David’s for four days, and it had been relatively uneventful.  He wasn’t taking advantage of the situation, despite some teasing.  She had Thursday off, so she slept in and came downstairs at nearly eleven.  David was on the couch, his ankle propped up on two pillows and an ice pack resting on top.
“Good morning sleepyhead,” he greeted, glancing at her briefly as he typed something into his laptop.
“Morning.  What’re you working on?” she asked, sitting down in one of the armchairs.  David let out a sigh.
“An article on situational depression.  I’ve done a couple of interviews and a lot of research, but I feel like it’s still missing something.  I need to have something ready for the editor by tonight.” She nodded.
“You’ll get it done,” she said confidently.  He smiled, but said nothing.  “Did you eat anything yet?”
“Umm… no.  I wasn’t hungry when I got up, and I got kind of wrapped up in this after that.  Don’t make me anything unless you’re going to do something for yourself.”
“I’m pretty hungry.  I should probably go grocery shopping at some point… you’re running low on all kinds of things.”
“You don’t have to do that Gracie,” he said.  She put her hand on her hip, looking at him seriously.
“It’s not like I’m doing it just for you David.  I’m counting on food in the cupboards here too.” He grinned.
“Good point.  Why don’t you take my debit card though?  It’s in my wallet… I think on my nightstand.” She nodded.
“I’m going to make something to eat, shower, and then head out to the store.” She went into the kitchen and made two sandwiches, bringing one to him.  She sat on the arm of the couch behind him, reading his article over his shoulder as she ate.  “I think it’s good,” she said, eating the last bite of her sandwich.  David glanced up at her and smiled.
“Thanks Gracie.” She gave his shoulder a squeeze, taking his plate from him and standing up.
“Anytime.  Anything special you want from the store?”
“I don’t think so.  Might help to have a second ice pack,” he said.
“OK.  I’m going to go get ready.  If you need anything give a yell.” He nodded and returned to his writing.  Grace went to his room first, taking his wallet off the night stand.  She opened it to be sure his debit card was inside, pausing when she saw the plastic insert that held the pictures.  The first one was from his wedding.  Angela stood in front of him, his arms around her waist and her hands over his.  They were both smiling broadly.  The second photo was of Maggie, a picture they’d had taken at a studio just months before the accident.  In the photo she was wearing her favorite butterfly shirt.  Grace let out a sigh, biting her bottom lip to fight the tears that threatened to fall.  She turned the photo page and let out another sigh.  The last picture was one of them, taken on a hike they’d gone on while they were still in college.

Grace clicked off the television and let out a sigh.  It was past midnight, but she had stayed up doing some research and then had gotten wrapped up in a movie.  She turned out the light and started to stand up, but paused as she looked around the living room.  Maggie’s toys were still right where they’d been seven months before.  She crouched down and picked one up, a stuffed rabbit, and cradled it gently in her hands.
“Put it back,” a voice said.  Grace stood and turned, frowning slightly when she saw David standing in the doorway of the living room.
“David, I…” He shook his head, looking at her with dark eyes.
“Put. It. Back,” he said again, a hard edge to his voice.  Grace walked toward him slowly, still holding the rabbit.
“I was just thinking about her… I just wanted to…” He cut her off again, grabbing the stuffed animal from her and throwing it back to the floor.
“I don’t care what you wanted to do Grace.  Leave her things alone,” he said angrily.  She frowned, bending to pick up another toy and ignoring how his eyes narrowed.
“Are you going to leave them here forever David?  It’s been seven months… how long are you going to leave them laying on the floor to remind you that she’s gone?” she demanded.  David grabbed for the toy, but Grace held it out of his reach.
“Give it back!” he yelled, following her hand as she moved it behind her back.  “God Damnit Grace, give it back!” She backed up until she hit the door jam, looking up at him defiantly.  His green eyes were nearly giving off sparks he was so angry.  She opened her mouth to speak, but found she had no idea what she was going to say.  David’s hand had grabbed hers, but he was no longer fighting her for the toy.  “Sometimes you need to just leave things alone,” he said finally.
“I was just…” She stopped speaking as his free hand moved to the side of her neck.
“Shut up Grace,” he said, leaning closer and kissing her.  His mouth was hard and angry as it moved over hers.  His hand fell away from hers, coming up to the other side of her face and holding her firmly.  She put her hands on his chest, intending to push him away.  She made a soft noise in the back of her throat, and the kiss changed.  His mouth softened and his hold on her gentled as his fingers moved back through her hair.  Grace’s fingers curled around his T-shirt, shuddering as she felt his hands move to her waist.  His fingers tightened, pulling her toward him.  It might have gone on indefinitely, but David began to kiss her neck.  By itself, that wasn’t enough to stop them but then he whispered, “Grace.” She opened her eyes and realized where she was and what they were doing, and that was enough.  She pushed at his chest.
“David,” she said.  He moved his mouth back to hers, but she pushed harder against him.  “David stop.”  When he still didn’t step back Grace shoved him as hard as she could.  “Stop,” she gasped, watching as he stumbled back.  They stood there, leaning against opposite sides of the door jam, breathing heavily and not looking at each other.
“Grace, I…” She shook her head quickly, still unable to look him in the eye.
“Don’t David,” she said softly.  She made herself look at him, swallowing hard at the look on his face.  His cheeks were flushed and for the first time in her life she couldn’t tell exactly what he was thinking.  He looked up at her and their eyes locked.  There was a long moment of awkward silence.
“I don’t know what… I mean, I’m not sure how…” he trailed off with a shake of his head, dropping his gaze back to his feet.  Grace swallowed hard and raked her fingers through her hair.
“You should go back to bed, it’s late,” she said.  His gaze shot up in time to see her as she attempted to walk past him and to the stairs that would lead to the safety of the guest room.  He reached out and grabbed her elbow.
“Gracie,” he said quietly.  She looked at him, and he cursed softly when he saw tears in her eyes.  “Grace  I really…” She shook her head and forced a smile.
“David, let’s not do this.  Let’s just not, OK?  I’m going to go to bed, and you will, and when we wake up tomorrow things will be a lot better.  Just let me go.  I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said.  He let out a slow breath and released her.  He watched as she jogged up the stairs, stopping halfway up.  “Goodnight,” she said before continuing her retreat.  He leaned back against the wall again.
“Goodnight,” he said softly, even though she was gone.

David came downstairs slowly the following morning, limping into the kitchen.  Grace was there, drinking a cup of coffee.  She looked up when he came in, forcing a smile.
“Morning,” she said.  He leaned against the counter and gave a small smile of his own.
“Morning.” Silence stretched out between them.  Grace stirred her coffee, looking out the window.  “You’re up early,” he said.  She glanced at him and nodded.
“Umm, yeah.  I got called in to cover a shift today so I have to head over to the hospital soon.” She looked down at her coffee cup, watching as the liquid inside swirled around.
“Oh.  Don’t you already have to work tonight?” Grace nodded again.
“Yeah.  I’ll just end up with a double shift, it’s not a huge deal.  I do it all the time,” she explained.  She took a big gulp of coffee and stood, carrying the cup to the sink and setting it down.  “I need to be over there soon, so I should go,” she said, starting past him.  David reached out and put his hand on her waist gently but firmly.
“Grace, don’t just run out of here like this.  That’s not what we do,” he said.  She looked at him, her eyes clouded over.
“I’m not running out of here… I have to go to work.” He sighed, bowing his head for a moment before looking at her again.
“Can we talk later?  I mean, I know you’ll be at work, but when you’re back.” His hand was still on her waist, and Grace was finding it extremely difficult not to think about the night before.
“I don’t think there’s a whole lot to talk about,” she muttered, looking down at her feet.  David grasped her chin between his thumb and forefinger and made her look up at him.
“So you want to just try to pretend that it didn’t happen?” he asked.  She let out a breath and closed her eyes for a brief moment.
“I really don’t think it’s something we need to have a big discussion about.  You were upset… I was upset.  We just got caught up.  I know that it’s not a big deal.”
“You’re acting like it is though.  You’re upset and I don’t want you to be.  I didn’t mean…” Grace cut him off, looking at him seriously as she stepped away from him.
“I know.  I promise I’m not upset OK?  I’m just a little off balance is all… I never really thought that would be something that happened with us, and it did.  So I’m just processing.  I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?” She smiled, and if he hadn’t known her his whole life he might’ve thought it sincere.
“I’m positive.  Don’t worry so much.” She glanced at her watch and let out a sigh.  “I really need to go.”
“Alright.  I’ll see you in the morning,” she said.  He nodded.
“OK.  Have a good day,” he said.  He watched as she hurried from the kitchen, wondering when she would call him so they could figure out exactly what had happened between them.

As it turned out, he was right to wonder.  David awoke the next morning to a text message from Grace that simply said she would try to come back over later that afternoon when she’d gotten some sleep. When she still hadn’t returned by nine, he called her.
“Hey,” she answered.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“I got called in on a patient from last night,” she explained.  He let out a sigh.
“Grace, just be straight up with me.  If you don’t feel like coming back here right now then tell me that.  We’ve been friends for long enough that we should at least be able to be honest with each other.”
“I am being honest.  I got called in on a patient and I’m trying to get things under control with her.  I have no idea how long it will take.”
“That’s convenient,” he muttered.  Grace let out a frustrated sigh, and he could imagine her raking her fingers through her hair restlessly.
“David, I told you this morning that everything is fine.  I have to work, so that’s what I’m doing. I’ve gotten about 2 hours of sleep in the last day and I’m not in the mood to have an argument right now.”
“Fine Grace.  I’ll let you get back to work,” he muttered.
“Goodbye,” she said, hanging up.  He tossed his phone down and picked up his computer again, trying to focus on work.

Grace picked Mark up at the airport several days later, even though she felt like she might have the flu.  When she saw him emerge from the crowd of people, she smiled broadly.  He hurried to her, wrapping his arms around her and holding her in a tight hug.
“I missed you,” he said softly, pulling away and kissing her deeply.  Grace smiled as he pulled away.
“I missed you too.” They walked toward the exit, holding hands.
“Should we stop somewhere to eat?  I’m a little hungry from the trip,” he said.  She nodded, glancing at her watch.  It was late in the evening.
“I’m not sure how much will be open, but we can see what there is.  How was the conference?” They reached the car, loading his luggage into the back.  She got behind the steering wheel and waited for him to get in.  When he was safely strapped in he reached across and put his hand on her thigh.
“I learned a lot about a new procedure, and I think it will be very helpful.  I got a lot of good networking done as well,” he explained.  She nodded, pulling out of the parking garage and on to the road.
“It sounds like a great experience.  I went to something a couple years back about pediatric interventions that I really loved.” Mark watched her, giving a slight frown.
“Are you alright Grace?  You look… tired or something,” he observed.  She glanced at him and gave a smile and a shrug.
“I think I’m getting a stomach bug or something.  I’ll be alright,” she assured him.  He took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze.
“Why don’t we go back to your apartment?  You should get some rest.  I’ll make myself something to eat there.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, looking at him again.  He smiled and nodded.
“Absolutely.  Let’s go, I want you healthy,” he said with a wink.  Grace laughed and turned down a street that would take them to her apartment.

Grace awoke several mornings later and groaned when her stomach rolled.  She had felt simply awful since Mark had returned from Seattle, to the point of calling in sick.  It was the first time she’d done that in nearly five years of working at the emergency room.  Mark had had an early meeting that morning, so he’d slept at his own apartment the night before.  Her phone was vibrating so she groaned and grabbed it.
“Hello?” she muttered.
“Hey, it’s David,” the voice on the other end said.  She sighed inwardly; she did not feel well enough to talk to him right then.  In fact, they hadn’t spoken at all since she’d told him she was called in to check on a patient.
“David, I’m sick and I don’t really feel like chatting right now,” she said.
“Come on Grace, cut the crap.  We haven’t talked in over a week.  Are you going to avoid me forever?” She sighed, closing her eyes as the waves of nausea came again.
“I’m being serious, I really… David hang on,” she said, getting up and sprinting to the bathroom.  She made it just in time, doubling over and vomiting into the toilet.  She threw up twice and then sat there for several moments taking deep breaths.  She could hear David calling her name from her cell phone.
“Gracie!” he exclaimed, nearly deafening her as she brought the phone back to her ear.
“I’m here,” she said, leaning back against the wall.
“Jesus you really are sick,” he said.  She laughed, pushing hair from her face.
“That’s what I said.”
“Is anyone with you?” he demanded.
“No, Mark had to go to a meeting this morning,” she replied, pulling herself to her feet and plodding back into her bedroom.  She crawled into bed and snuggled under the covers again.
“I’m coming over,” he said.
“David you don’t have to do that,” she said, but there was no fight in her voice.
“Is your spare key still in the same place?  I’ll just let myself in.”
“Yeah.  I’ll be sleeping,” she murmured.
“Be there in a few,” he promised, hanging up the phone.  Grace nodded and tossed her phone down on the pillow beside her head.  She curled up on her side and closed her eyes, willing sleep to come until the nausea passed.

David handed her a glass of gingerale later that morning, putting a gentle hand on her forehead.  He shook his head.
“You don’t feel warm,” he said, sitting down on the edge of her bed.  Grace shrugged, taking several sips of the soda.
“I didn’t think I was.  I really just think I have a nasty stomach bug.  I’m already feeling a little better, minus being so damn tired.” He nodded and watched as she let out a slow breath and smiled at him.  “You don’t have to hang out here watching me.  I think I’ll be alright.”
“I’d like to hang out… it’s been awhile,” he said.  She nodded, glancing away from him.
“I know.  I’m sorry about that, I have been really busy.” He watched her closely, letting out a small sigh.
“That’s fine Grace.  I worry that it’s more than you just being busy though.” He held up his hand as she opened her mouth to speak.  “Hang on a second and let me talk.  You’ve been my best friend since we were five years old, and I’ve counted on you for all these years.  I guess in the past months you’ve been my rock.  The other night I let myself fall into something because I was frustrated and angry and lonely… and that wasn’t fair to you.” He drew in a breath and added, “I’m really sorry.” Grace smiled and took his hand in hers.
“It’s OK.  It just freaked me out a little bit David.  I really have been busy, and yeah I’ve been avoiding you a little bit.  I just wanted to step back and figure it out.  I’m really fine now,” she assured him.  He gave her a nudge.
“Promise?” Grace laughed.
“I promise,” she said.  He leaned closer and gave her a tight hug.  “Why don’t we watch a movie or something?” she suggested.  David nodded and pulled her to her feet.  She stumbled a little and he frowned.
“Grace are you alright?” he asked.
“Yeah.  I’ve had some dizziness the last few days, but it usually passes pretty quickly.  Come on, let’s go find a movie,” she said.  When he still hesitated she laughed and said, “I’m fine David.  Come on!” He followed her out of the room, still worried that something was wrong.

Grace sat in her bathroom a week later, staring at the pregnancy test in her hands.  It was the third she’d taken.  It was also the third that had come out positive.  She knew she would remember this moment forever, and wasn’t sure it would be a happy memory or a sad one.  She put the test down on the sink and put her face in her hands.
“This is not happening,” she whispered, trying to stop her mind from racing.  She heard the front door open.
“Grace, are you here?” Mark called.  She sighed; she’d forgotten that they were supposed to go out to dinner that night.  He had called her from work that day, sounding excited but wouldn’t tell her why.
“Yeah, I’ll be right out!” she replied, drawing in a deep breath and standing up.  She put the pregnancy test into the garbage, pausing a moment to look at herself in the mirror before going out of the room.  Mark was in the living room and she smiled when she saw that he’d brought Chinese food home.  It was one of her favorite things, and she’d commented just that morning that it had been too long since she’d gone out to get some.  “This is a nice surprise,” she said.  He turned, grinning at her as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.  Grace twined her arms around his neck, fingers playing with his hair.  When he pulled away he touched the side of her face.
“I know I said we should go out, but I thought it’d be more fun to just stay in.  Is that alright with you?”
“Absolutely.  This is fantastic,” she said, sitting down on the couch.  They ate in silence for several minutes, each enjoying their food.  When they’d finished, he leaned back and let out a content sigh.
“It’s been a great day,” he said.  She smiled, setting her plate down and turning so she could look at him.
“You said you had good news earlier.  What happened?” she asked.  He let out a breath, leaning forward to take her hands in his.
“Remember the conference I went to?”
“Sure.”
“I got a phone call from one of the doctors that I met out there… he offered me a job at his practice.” Grace stared at him with wide eyes.  “It’ll mean a huge pay raise and I’ll get to set my hours more often than not.  It’s really fantastic.  I want you to come with me Grace.” She let out a breath and a relieved smile came to her face.
“You had me worried for a minute,” she said, leaning closer and kissing him.
“Sorry… I’m just excited.  I know it’s a big decision, to move.  And I know we haven’t been dating that long, but I really can’t imagine going without you.”
“I’ll need to look in to open positions and figure out some things,” she said.  He nodded, and then tilted his head to the side.
“Are you OK?  You seem preoccupied or upset.” Grace let out a breath and looked down at their hands.  He was still holding hers with their fingers laced together.
“I’m alright.  I just… I have some news too.”
“What is it?” he asked with a smile.
“Umm…  you know how I’ve been sick?” Mark frowned deeply.
“Yes.  Is everything alright?  I knew you should’ve gone to see someone right away…” She cut him off.
“I’m fine.  I…I’m pregnant Mark.” He recoiled as if she’d hit him.
“You’re what?” he demanded.
“I took three tests and they were all positive.  I haven’t been to see anyone yet, but I’m pretty sure the tests are right.” He stood up and paced in front of her, hands on the back of his head with his fingers locked.
“You told me you couldn’t have kids,” he said, looking at her with hard, angry eyes.  She frowned, biting back tears.
“I didn’t think I could.  I was sick when I was sixteen… the doctor told me it wouldn’t be possible.  I don’t even get a regular period,” she said, her voice shaking.  He crossed his arms over his chest.
“I don’t want kids Grace.  I don’t want them ever I don’t think… and I sure as hell don’t want one now.” Grace felt as if she’d been socked in the stomach and she was finding it hard to breathe.
“I can’t believe you’re saying that,” she whispered.  Mark shook his head.
“I’m sorry Grace, but this isn’t what I want.” He watched as she looked down at her hands.  “I’m taking the job in Seattle.  I still want you to come with me.”
“But you don’t want the baby,” she said, looking up at him.  Mark shook his head.
“No, I don’t want the baby.” He picked up his coat and put it on.  “Take a couple of days to think about what you want to do.” She shook her head.
“I don’t need a couple days Mark.  I want children and this might be my only chance to have them; I can’t give that up.” He sighed.
“I’m not going to change my mind about this,” he said.
“Neither will I,” she said.  He nodded, but said nothing more as he walked out.  Grace waited until she heard the front door shut before she began to cry.

David walked to the front door, a frown on his face.  It was late, much too late for someone to be ringing his doorbell.  Through the glass he could see Grace standing on his porch, and his frown deepened as he opened the door.
“Grace it’s past midnight, what’re you…” he trailed off when she lifted her gaze to his.  Her eyes were red and puffy, and when she looked at him she dissolved into tears.  “Hey, come in here,” he said, putting his arm around her and pulling her into a tight hug.  He closed the door as he held her, rubbing her back gently until she had calmed down a little.  He pulled away, putting his hands on her shoulders and looking at her with concern.  “Come in and sit down,” he said, taking her hand and leading her to the living room.  They sat down at the couch and Grace drew in several shuddering breaths.
“I’m sorry I woke you up,” she said finally.  David laughed a little, giving her knee a little squeeze.
“Gracie, I don’t care about that right now.  You’re here at midnight crying… what’s going on?” he asked.  She stared at her feet for a moment and then looked at him.
“I’m pregnant,” she said.  There was a brief pause, and he looked at her with confused eyes.
“I thought you couldn’t have kids… I remember how upset you were when you found out,” he said.  Grace nodded and pushed her hair back from her face.
“I know!  I didn’t think I could, they told me I couldn’t.” A smile came across his face and he took her hand in his.
“This is good then!  You’ve always said how much you wished you could have a baby, Gracie.  This is wonderful,” he said.  She looked up at him, tears filling her eyes again.
“Mark doesn’t want it,” she said, more tears spilling onto her cheeks.  David sighed and pulled her into his arms again.
“Oh Gracie I’m so sorry,” he said.  They sat there for a long time as she cried.  David held her tightly, rubbing gentle circles against her back.  “Are you sure he won’t change his mind?” She pulled away, sitting back against the arm of the couch and pulling her knees up to her chest.
“Yes.  He got offered a job in Seattle and he said he wants me to go, but he doesn’t want the baby.  When I told him that I wasn’t going to change my mind about wanting the baby, he left.  This isn’t what he wants for his life, and as much as I want to be with him… I can’t imagine not keeping this baby.”
“This is happening for a reason… it sucks about Mark, but it’s really wonderful about the baby.  I know how much it hurts to have him make this choice, but I’m proud of you for making your own choice.” She smiled at him.  “We should celebrate.  This is big news,” he said.
“David it’s past midnight,” she said with a laugh.
“So what?  There has to be something open.  We’re not going to be sad on the day you find out you’re having a baby.  Let’s go,” he said, tugging her to her feet.  She laughed again, following him to the front door.  When they’d reached it she pulled him to a stop.
“Thank you David,” she said, looking up at him gratefully.
“You’re welcome,” he said, giving her a hand a squeeze and leading her out of the house.

Grace sat on an examination table, grimacing as the paper crinkled beneath her.  There was a knock on the door and she said, “Come on in.” She smiled at the woman who came in.
“You definitely are pregnant Grace,” Doctor Miller said with a smile.  “From the look of things, you’re about two months along which would put conception some time in September.  Based on the blood work you’re due on around the 10^th of June.”
“How is this possible?  They told me after the procedure to remove the cysts on my ovaries that children wouldn’t be possible,” she said.  Doctor Miller pulled up a rolling stool and sat down.
“Sometimes things get better.  The body is an amazing thing Grace, you of all people should know that.  Your body came past that point that doctors didn’t think it would.  You need to understand that this will be a fairly high risk pregnancy.  Right now things look alright, but you need to be very vigilant regarding stress and getting the proper amount of rest.  I think you should take maternity leave early on.”
“How early?” Grace asked.
“I think you should be home with your feet up no later than March.” When Grace opened her mouth to protest, Doctor Miller held up her hand and said, “Grace I’m serious.  You need to take good care of yourself and the baby if you want it to all go smoothly.  I’ll have you come in frequently for examinations, but you have to do your part too.  Put in for the early leave now.”
“Alright, I will,” she said.  Doctor Miller stood and patted her shoulder.
“Congratulations Grace,” she said before leaving the room.  Grace smiled a little, sliding her hand over her stomach.
“I’m having a baby,” she murmured.

Grace walked up the steps and rang the doorbell, smiling as she saw David coming to answer the door.  It was Christmas Eve.
“Hey,” he said, opening the door for her.  She walked into the front hallway and took off her coat, hanging it up on a hook in the closet.
“Merry Christmas,” she said, giving him a tight hug.  He smiled slightly and led her into the living room.  He hadn’t put a tree up, and as always Maggie’s toys still lay in their spots on the floor.  Grace frowned as she watched him plop down on the couch.  “Are you OK?” she asked.  He looked up at her and shrugged.
“I don’t know Grace.  How am I supposed to be?” he demanded.  She let out a sigh and sat down on the couch.
“Pretty crappy I’d say,” she offered.  He couldn’t hide his smile.  “Ha!  I saw that.  It’s a Christmas miracle,” she teased.  David rolled his eyes.
“You should’ve gone to the hospital Christmas party or something.  I’m going to be extremely bad company,” he said.  Grace took her hair out of its ponytail and looked at him for a long moment.
“I brought a bunch of stuff over.  I figured we could do a big dinner tomorrow.  I got frozen pizza tonight… do you remember that year when we were at college and you decided to come visit me over Christmas?  We had frozen pizza that whole week,” she said.
“All of it still in the car?” he asked.
“Yes.Â