Fadedwords

I’ve written about the sucky situation involving horseback riding here, here, and here.  Anyone who reads here or knows me, knows how incredibly disappointed and upset I was when I was told I couldn’t ride during the first block of lessons.

At my last WW meeting, I lost another 2.8 pounds which brought me down to 225 pounds.  I decided I would email the director of the riding academy and give her an update on my progress.  I hoped that they would decide I was close enough to the 220 pound restriction given the new weight, factoring in my experience in the saddle.  I did not get my hopes up though, knowing that the director’s hands were tied by the farm manager.

I had an email waiting for me when I got home today from the director of the barn:

Hi Kate, 

Congratulations!  Lets go ahead and get you back in the saddle now so you'll
be ready to start with the group by the end of October for Block II-- your
close enough, especially given your skill level.  Would you want to start in
private lessons sometime soon to get ready?  The next Block starts on Oct
20th. 

Thank you for working with us!

-Joy

I am so, so incredibly excited.  I emailed her back and said that I would be interested in taking at least one private lesson before the second block starts.  I said that I could call tomorrow and speak to the office manager, or we could arrange that via email.  I should be back up in the saddle within a week.

When I first got the news that I couldn’t ride, I was so devastated.  I honestly didn’t think I’d ever  get to where they wanted me to be.  Now I’m there and can start again.  I’m excited.

I wrote about the wretched situation with the barn here and then again here.   It’s been weighing on me steadily, and I guess it will just have to continue to do so.

I spoke with Joy today and she apologized again for everything.  She said that they had planned to put me on Sergeant, but that he’s come up with a serious lameness that will take awhile to mend.  She said that they have no horses that weigh 1100lbs, so until I get to 220 riding is a no go.  She said that she had been hoping they could make an exception based upon my riding experience, but the directors at the farm had decided they couldn’t.  She said that Sergeant should be sound by second block, which begins at the end of October.  So even if I’m not quite to 220 by then, I should be able to ride.

Of course this means that the decision is final.  No riding until October.  I have to really try to get to 220 by then, in case this horse is not sound by then.  It means that I have to go right back to square one, and go through that horribly painful experience of torn muscles all over again.  I have to worry about not losing and having to wait even longer.  I have to try to lose enough so that I can take one or two private lessons before group lessons start to stand a chance of not killing or embarrassing myself in front of the group.

It’s just bad news.

I know that people will suggest that exercising will keep the muscles ready, but there is literally no exercise that mimics what horseback riding does to your muscles.  There is no preparation for this.  It’s just starting at square one.

So yeah.  Finally and definitely crappy.

I mentioned in my previous post that I had sent an email about what was going on, explaining why I was upset.  I wasn’t really expecting a response because I had told them I would call next week when I wasn’t so upset.  I was a little surprised to have an email this morning from Joy, the diretor of the riding academy.

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There aren’t too many things that I am incredibly passionate about.  I’m pretty sure I’ve made it clear that horseback riding is one of those things.  It’s probably at the top of the list of things I love.  The past three weeks riding have been the best in a long time. 

I got a voicemail today from the director of riding academy at the farm letting me know that I would not be able to ride there because they have a weight restriction. 

I’ll go on record as saying I understand weight restrictions.  I competed in college and I completely understand the toll it takes on a horse to have many lessons a day.  If you add to that riders that are heavier, it’s just not fair or safe.  So I get it.  In fact, when I first started looking in to riding I worried that I wouldn’t be able to start until I lost some weight.  So I understand it, I even support the notion.

What I do not support is this:

• There was no mention of this on the website under rider requirements when I first went there.  In fact, they just updated their site today and now it’s on there.  (sidenote: that makes me feel as if it was added just for me… and that adds to the totally effing awesome feeling I have right now).
• When I went for my farm tour I filled out paperwork that asked for my weight and I answered honestly.  This was before I ever saddled up.
• I rode for the first time four days later and there was no mention of weight.
• I turned in my group riding lesson stuff the day after that and again put in my weight.
• I rode two more times and no mention was made of my weight. 
• They left me a damn voicemail that, in essence said, “You’re too fat to ride.”  You don’t tell someone that in a damn voicemail.

I wrote them an email and voiced my reasons for being upset.  I also told them that I do want to ride with them when my weight is in the right range, but that they really need to be more careful in the future to respect peoples’ feelings and time… not to mention money.  I dished out $190 just in riding lesson the past month… and I won’t even jot down what I spent on gear.  I paid this because I was led to believe I’d be starting a rigorous training program at the end of the month.  They had the info about my weight at the end of July, and they are just now telling me I’m too heavy.

I’m not ashamed of my weight.  I gained it due to serious medical issues, and I’m working really damn hard to lose it now.  I’m succeeding so far.  I also won’t sit here and lie and say that it doesn’t hurt an incredible amount to have someone tell me (no matter how tactfully) that I’m too fat to do something that I love so damn much.   

I was so looking forward to this.  After three weeks I was over the incredible pain of starting over.  I was feeling really good about how I was riding.  And now I’m going to have to start all over again in 3 months or whenever I lose another 19lbs.  I’m absolutely crushed.

I had my riding lesson today, which I was thankfully recovered for.  I was feeling good, albeit a little bit sore on my left side still.  When I got to the barn I found the lesson schedule and discovered I would be riding Quincy.  It was a name I didn’t recognize, so I went and found him.  He was a beautiful chestnut-y color.  I was early, but I started to groom up.  Soon Deb found me in the stall and encouraged me to tack up and meet her in the indoor.

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