Fadedwords

Last week I gained 4.4 pounds.  I was astonished when I got on the scale and saw that; I haven’t gained that much in a week since I started WW.  I was incredibly upset about it, and couldn’t understand what on Earth I had done to cause such a tremendous jump in my weight.  I had been working really hard to be on track, because I have set a goal to get to 185 by the time I go to Seattle with Bethany.  This is a bit more than 15 pounds, based upon where my weight was when I made the goal.

I was still unable to work out this week due to my back.  The doctor told me to give it two weeks to get the swelling down completely.  I worked hard to stay on track with food though, but I honestly didn’t think I’d see much of a loss.  I was once again astonished because I lost 6.8 pounds.  I’ve never lost that much in a week, mainly because it’s bad to do that under normal circumstances.  This week was somewhat different because most of that weight is simply fading away from the steroid injection.  I’m still really proud because it means I lost 2.4 pounds of real weight this week.  I am 19 pounds from where I want to be, and I am feeling good enough to work out finally.  I’ll be taking it easy (no worries Mom!), but I do want to try to do at least 2 days this week.  I’ll do more if I’m feeling up to it.

In other news…

Ever since I moved to this area, I drive by this field quite often.  It’s very large, has a pond, and two really gorgeous horses.  I have been trying/waiting to get a photo early in the morning of the horses standing beside the pond, with a reflection in the water.  It took me 3 years, but I finally got it…

You can see all of the photos I took this morning HERE.

I feel like this is the first summer I’ve had in a very long time.  The past three years I’ve spent feeling bad about the way I looked, hiding behind shorts and t-shirts, and being envious of friends that were in bathing suits and enjoying the beach or the pool.

Yesterday, I put on a bathing suit and went to the pool with some of my girlfriends.  And I didn’t feel embarrassed or awful about myself… despite the fact that I know I have some more weight to lose.  What I felt was proud, because I didn’t look horrible.  I felt proud because I’ve worked for almost a year to get to this place where I could enjoy the pool in a bathing suit.  And I’m here.

Me helping Elyssa get Quentin in his pool car.  Sidenote: How proud are we of Elyssa for rocking a bikini 3 months after having a baby!

As is the case with many things… I don’t think I could’ve made myself go to the pool if Bethany wasn’t there telling me that I looked fine.  I know that she won’t lie to me, and I know that she’ll stab anyone who tries to say anything to put me down.  Granted, going to the pool for the first time in a swimsuit next to bikini girl is a little bit daunting… but more than anything or anyone else, Bethany builds me up and never lets me put myself down.

It was very sunny out.  Squinting is in this season right?

You can see all the photos here.

I’m even more excited about the trip to Disney now, because I know that I don’t have to be ashamed of myself when I walk around in a swimsuit.  I have more work to do, more weight to lose, but I know that I have made such tremendous progress.  I’m feeling proud of myself… because of a bathing suit.  Who knew that’d ever happen?

I’m glad it’s Friday.  The weeks do seem to drag on sometimes, and this week was another one.  It was a good week, for the most part even though I was looking forward to today.

The little girl I do homebound service with, L, had a better week this week.  Monday was a rough day, as she had to go to the hospital.  The rest of the week was very good; she was very much her usual self.  It was really good to see her in such high spirits, especially after seeing her have such a difficult week.  I ate dinner at their house on Tuesday, and ended up babysitting for a little while so her parents could go out and arrange a surprise for her.  Yesterday we couldn’t do any school work, because unforutnately L’s white blood cells were incredibly low and she was neutropenic.  These things (amongst others) led to her being way too tired.  I did stay for about an hour and a half.  Her mom had to take her grandmother home, so we played with barbies and just had a nice time.  There is a fundraiser for her on Sunday afternoon, and I’m looking forward to going.  I’ve been working with her for over a month now, and I cannot begin to explain how blessed I feel that I’m part of this.  It breaks my heart to see what her and her family go through, but more often than not I am amazed and awestruck at the beauty I’m shown.

After playing email tag, Joy and I got riding figured out.  I am riding tomorrow at 2pm with Mattie.  I will be in Mattie’s lesson group, which I’m kind of bummed about.  I had really hoped to ride with Deb, who I did my lessons with when I first started up riding.  I really got along with her well.  I’m keeping an open mind though; I’ve had very positive experiences with everyone I met at this facility.  I’m looking forward to being in the saddle again, more than I can say.  Joy did say in her last email that it would be good if I could jump with Mattie once or twice before group begins on the 20th… so I’m pretty nervous about that.  Yes, I’ve jumped hundreds of times before… but I have not done that in well over two years.  We’ll see how it goes.  I’m just excited to be back near horses and on a horse, and I’m hoping for another positive experience.  My friend Steve said he might come tomorrow, so it’s possible there will be pictures.  We’ll see.

I went to a conference today in Raleigh about bringing out the best in students.  I truly enjoyed it; there was a lot of information that I found valuable.  Quite a few people from my county went, including my former principal.  It was quite interesting to see her, and I admit that I had a nice conversation with her.

I have worked out hard this week, starting The F*irm dvd set that I bought many months ago.  I’ve pushed myself hard this week and I really hope it pays off.  Tomorrow is weigh in, and I’m nervous/anxious as I always am.  I would love to be down another 1.6… that will give me my 10%.  So we’ll see about that too.

Aaaaand… Jake just called me   I wasn’t expecting to hear from him, other than his nifty tracker thingy, until he pulled up in the driveway next Friday.  He’s having fun and says there are tons of pictures.  He and Brian are camping in Alabama right now, and will go back to Mississippi on Monday.  He said he’s thinking of heading back up this way early, so we’ll see on that.   It was incredibly good to hear his voice.

For now I’m off to hop in the shower, so I can try to be in prime shape for the lesson tomorrow.  Wish me luck.

I fully expected this would be a gaining week.  I was wrong.  I lost 3 pounds.

This brings my total loss to 17.2 pounds.  I’m 2.8 pounds away from reaching my 20 pound loss.  I’m 6 pounds away from hitting my 10% goal.  I’m 10 pounds from getting to the weight I can ride at.

I’m so proud and so motivated and so excited.

More excitement is that my friend Dana went to the meeting with me today, so it will be good to have a friend working with me.

It’s a great week.  For all kinds of reasons.  I’m feeling fantastic.

Even though I wrote about it on Shrinking Me, I thought I’d mention it here too… I mean, the last two posts have been pretty down in the dumps.  It’s time for a little bit of positive here at Fadedwords.

WW today went much better than expected.  I lost 4.2lbs!!  This brings my total to 12.2lbs lost… which is half of my 10% goal.  I really needed a loss like this today; it’s helped put me in a better mood regarding everything.

So yeah.  4+ more down… next goal is 5 more.