I was still unable to work out this week due to my back.  The doctor told me to give it two weeks to get the swelling down completely.  I worked hard to stay on track with food though, but I honestly didn’t think I’d see much of a loss.  I was once again astonished because I lost 6.8 pounds.  I’ve never lost that much in a week, mainly because it’s bad to do that under normal circumstances.  This week was somewhat different because most of that weight is simply fading away from the steroid injection.  I’m still really proud because it means I lost 2.4 pounds of real weight this week.  I am 19 pounds from where I want to be, and I am feeling good enough to work out finally.  I’ll be taking it easy (no worries Mom!), but I do want to try to do at least 2 days this week.  I’ll do more if I’m feeling up to it.

In other news…

Ever since I moved to this area, I drive by this field quite often.  It’s very large, has a pond, and two really gorgeous horses.  I have been trying/waiting to get a photo early in the morning of the horses standing beside the pond, with a reflection in the water.  It took me 3 years, but I finally got it…

You can see all of the photos I took this morning HERE.

Yesterday, I put on a bathing suit and went to the pool with some of my girlfriends.  And I didn’t feel embarrassed or awful about myself… despite the fact that I know I have some more weight to lose.  What I felt was proud, because I didn’t look horrible.  I felt proud because I’ve worked for almost a year to get to this place where I could enjoy the pool in a bathing suit.  And I’m here.

Me helping Elyssa get Quentin in his pool car.  Sidenote: How proud are we of Elyssa for rocking a bikini 3 months after having a baby!

As is the case with many things… I don’t think I could’ve made myself go to the pool if Bethany wasn’t there telling me that I looked fine.  I know that she won’t lie to me, and I know that she’ll stab anyone who tries to say anything to put me down.  Granted, going to the pool for the first time in a swimsuit next to bikini girl is a little bit daunting… but more than anything or anyone else, Bethany builds me up and never lets me put myself down.

It was very sunny out.  Squinting is in this season right?

You can see all the photos here.

I’m even more excited about the trip to Disney now, because I know that I don’t have to be ashamed of myself when I walk around in a swimsuit.  I have more work to do, more weight to lose, but I know that I have made such tremendous progress.  I’m feeling proud of myself… because of a bathing suit.  Who knew that’d ever happen?

The little girl I do homebound service with, L, had a better week this week.  Monday was a rough day, as she had to go to the hospital.  The rest of the week was very good; she was very much her usual self.  It was really good to see her in such high spirits, especially after seeing her have such a difficult week.  I ate dinner at their house on Tuesday, and ended up babysitting for a little while so her parents could go out and arrange a surprise for her.  Yesterday we couldn’t do any school work, because unforutnately L’s white blood cells were incredibly low and she was neutropenic.  These things (amongst others) led to her being way too tired.  I did stay for about an hour and a half.  Her mom had to take her grandmother home, so we played with barbies and just had a nice time.  There is a fundraiser for her on Sunday afternoon, and I’m looking forward to going.  I’ve been working with her for over a month now, and I cannot begin to explain how blessed I feel that I’m part of this.  It breaks my heart to see what her and her family go through, but more often than not I am amazed and awestruck at the beauty I’m shown.

After playing email tag, Joy and I got riding figured out.  I am riding tomorrow at 2pm with Mattie.  I will be in Mattie’s lesson group, which I’m kind of bummed about.  I had really hoped to ride with Deb, who I did my lessons with when I first started up riding.  I really got along with her well.  I’m keeping an open mind though; I’ve had very positive experiences with everyone I met at this facility.  I’m looking forward to being in the saddle again, more than I can say.  Joy did say in her last email that it would be good if I could jump with Mattie once or twice before group begins on the 20th… so I’m pretty nervous about that.  Yes, I’ve jumped hundreds of times before… but I have not done that in well over two years.  We’ll see how it goes.  I’m just excited to be back near horses and on a horse, and I’m hoping for another positive experience.  My friend Steve said he might come tomorrow, so it’s possible there will be pictures.  We’ll see.

I went to a conference today in Raleigh about bringing out the best in students.  I truly enjoyed it; there was a lot of information that I found valuable.  Quite a few people from my county went, including my former principal.  It was quite interesting to see her, and I admit that I had a nice conversation with her.

I have worked out hard this week, starting The F*irm dvd set that I bought many months ago.  I’ve pushed myself hard this week and I really hope it pays off.  Tomorrow is weigh in, and I’m nervous/anxious as I always am.  I would love to be down another 1.6… that will give me my 10%.  So we’ll see about that too.

Aaaaand… Jake just called me   I wasn’t expecting to hear from him, other than his nifty tracker thingy, until he pulled up in the driveway next Friday.  He’s having fun and says there are tons of pictures.  He and Brian are camping in Alabama right now, and will go back to Mississippi on Monday.  He said he’s thinking of heading back up this way early, so we’ll see on that.   It was incredibly good to hear his voice.

For now I’m off to hop in the shower, so I can try to be in prime shape for the lesson tomorrow.  Wish me luck.

This brings my total loss to 17.2 pounds.  I’m 2.8 pounds away from reaching my 20 pound loss.  I’m 6 pounds away from hitting my 10% goal.  I’m 10 pounds from getting to the weight I can ride at.

I’m so proud and so motivated and so excited.

More excitement is that my friend Dana went to the meeting with me today, so it will be good to have a friend working with me.

It’s a great week.  For all kinds of reasons.  I’m feeling fantastic.

WW today went much better than expected.  I lost 4.2lbs!!  This brings my total to 12.2lbs lost… which is half of my 10% goal.  I really needed a loss like this today; it’s helped put me in a better mood regarding everything.

So yeah.  4+ more down… next goal is 5 more.

As it turned out, the meeting group was really fantastic.  The leader is very up beat and immediately puts you at ease and gets you excited about WW.  The other members were incredibly nice too.  It was just a nice atmosphere.

My worry about gaining?  Also silly.  I lost…………..

4.2lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!

That brings my total to 6.2lbs.  I got my first 5lb sticker today and everyone celebrated my success.  It was a very good week.

I’m visiting Monica tonight.  I got here at about 5ish, just as Mon was finishing up with her day at the Challenge Course.  I waited while she showered, and then we went out for our traditional visit to Friendly*’s.  I’m pretty proud of how I did tonight.  I got a salad to start with, and did the dressing on the side.  I picked out all the bread crumbs too.  Then for dinner I got a chicken quesadilla… which I know isn’t the best dinner, but it was much better than the cheeseburger I wanted.  I didn’t eat more than 5 forks of the rice that came with it.  Also, the quesadilla came as two medium sized ‘dillas.  I only ate one and brought the other  home.  I did allow myself a diet Coke, but according to my book those are zero points.  For desert? I got a scoop of sugar free vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles. Their idea of “scoop” is a big dish full of ice cream, so I only ate  about a quarter of it.  Monica told me how impressed she was with that.  I had saved 20 points for dinner, and I think that I stayed within that… if I went over  it wasn’t by  too much. 

It’ll be a brief trip to this part of the state.  I’ll go home tomorrow.  I had planned to meet up with my friend Valerie, but that’s not going to work out.  I’m pretty bummed about that too, as I was really looking forward to seeing her.  I haven’t since I moved to NC two years ago.

In any case… I’m monopolizing Monica’s computer so I’ll leave this as it is. 

In any case…

I had a breakthrough today.  I ate all my points!!!  Not only that, but I went out to lunch with my brother at Applebee’s, and I did a really good job of following the plan and not going above the points I wanted to use for lunch.  I didn’t even have to dip into my weekly points allowance to accommodate the lunch.  I did really well today, and I am really proud of myself.  As if you couldn’t tell by all the italic print in that paragraph!

In any case, that’s the big excitement in my world.    Now I’m off to sleep.

So I drove over, first going down to the old barn to see what it looked like.  The person who bought it had painted the front part this bright yellow color… and from the road it looked like she made it into a house.  The rest was virtually the same.  It was sad seeing it changed; I spent hours upon hours at that barn learning about horses and forging some fantastic friendships.

Linda was home, and it was so very good to see her.  She and John had built a wonderful addition on to their kitchen, and also added a great basement room.  Linda and I talked for about two hours before going to the new barn to see Linda’s horses.  While we chatted she let me know that Prima, a horse I had truly loved, passed away on Sunday.  She was over 30, so it was likely her time to go.  It was another sad change.  The new barn was really cute… just enough for her seven guys and one boarder.  She had a new black and white paint that I’m in love with; I always wanted one of those!  Then there were the older guys… horses I’ve ridden and grown up on.  I can’t tell you how good it was to see them.

After the barn we went back to the house and talked for awhile more, and then Lin had to feed and I knew I should get home.  I promised I’d try to come back on a weekend so I could see John, and bring my camera so Linda could see it.   As soon as I got back to the car my cell phone started to vibrate.  I had five voicemails.  Before I even listened, I knew I had messed up.  They were all from Mom; I had been supposed to pick her up from work… and I just didn’t think I had to.  Then the rest were her being worried because I wasn’t answering my phone and she didn’t know where I was.  I hadn’t left a note at the house, because I truly didn’t intend upon being gone for four hours.  I called her and told her where I’d been and assured her I was fine, and then came home feeling like a completely irresponsible and horrible kid.  She forgave me though.

Weight Watchers is going pretty well.  We had a small blip mixing up how many points tortilla lime tilapia was (6, not 3 for the record).  That little mistake made me have to use up some of my weekly points allowance, which isn’t a huge deal.  I’m hoping it doesn’t mess up any progress I would’ve made this week.  So far my biggest trouble area?  I struggle using all of my points every day.  I started with a lot of points… because I’m a fatty, which is great because at least it’s not like “Hey don’t eat anything”.  It’s bad because I’m eating more than I’m used to… I’m just eating things that are actually good for me.  My goal for the rest of the week is to budget the points better and use more during the day so I don’t end up with like 16 to eat between dinner and bedtime.  I need to have more like 14 by dinner time.  That gives me 10 points for dinner and another 4 for a snack after.

I’m interested to see if I lose any this week.  I don’t know if I will and I don’t want to get my hopes up.  I also am just feeling good about changing the way I eat; I know I’m doing the right thing for myself.  I feel really positive about that.  The points thing really works for me, minus the budgeting issue.  Having that framework really helps me see what I need to eat, what I have room for in the day.  I don’t feel deprived in any way.  Weight Watchers food?  It’s really good.  Also, Boca burgers are frigging amazing.  I don’t know if the Weight Watchers place I’m going at home sells things like the one here.  If they don’t I’ll have to have my Mom ship me things.  There are snack bars and smoothies that only the Weight Watchers offices sell.

Alright… enough about Weight Watchers.  It’s time for breakfast!

But I had no reason to be apprehensive.

It was so positive and inviting and… upbeat.  The leader was really funny, the people were clearly supportive.  Weighing in was not nearly as horrific as I had imagined it would be, despite the fact that the number on the scale was ridiculous and made the task at hand seem a little bit monumental.  I had foreseen the people weighing trying to hide their shock or something, which I know is silly… but I can be silly sometimes.  It wasn’t at all like that though.

I picked my plan, the Flex Plan, and met with the leader for my consultation meeting.  I got many informational and helpful booklets to assist me this first week of my journey.  I plan to go back to their office tomorrow and get a couple more things; they have a little calculator that will quickly compute point values in foods, as well as a starter kit that has several more useful books in it.  I will also likely get a scale for food measuring.

Today so far I’m well within my points allowance.  I went on a 30 minute walk with the dog.  Mom is about to go grocery shopping and she’s going to get even more yummy, healthy stuff to eat that’s going to be point-friendly.

I feel really positive about this, and know that if I can stick to it I will see some results.  I know that it’s not going to be overnight, but that I will start feeling better physically and mentally as I progress.  Mainly I just feel good that I’ve taken this step.  I’m considering starting a separate portion of the blog that is dedicated to nothing but WW progress, but we’ll see.  I may only write about that kind of stuff on Saturdays, which is weigh-in day.  The meeting I plan to go to in NC when I get back is also a Saturday meeting, so that will indeed keep me consistent.

Today is a good day, and I feel really positive about myself.  Send positive thoughts my way as I continue on.

And three cheers for my Mom getting back on track today too.  She’s worked so hard already, and I know that she can do anything she puts her mind to.