Fadedwords

This has been an exhausting week.

I’m responsible for administering the listening, reading, and writing test to all of our ESL students (English as Second Language).  This has me in testing from 9-10:30 and then 1-2:30 every day.  From 10:30-11:30 I try to get caught up on anything around here that I can, and then I do lunch duty, eat my lunch, and then go back in to test.  After this week I have at least two more days next week that will be full of testing.  Then after that I will begin screening kids for EC services.  I have about 18 to complete prior to the first of March.  That will be interesting.

Jake had his wisdom teeth removed yesterday.  They took all four of them out, leaving him groggy and in some substantial pain.  He stayed with me last night, and may stay with me tonight.  I told him he could stay as long as he felt that he needed to.  He’s going to Phoenix on Sunday for work, so obviously he’ll be heading back home before then.  I’m planning ot make mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese tonight for dinner because they’re soft and his favorite.  Hopefully the combination of the two will lead to him eating.  Last night we tried chicken noodle soup and it ended with him feeling nauseous.  Yay anesthesia and vicodin!

Things with my brother had been going fine until a couple nights ago.  My Mom got a call from Sean saying they were sending him home because he has ADHD.  Long story (very) short: he disclosed this fully, is not on meds and hasn’t been in over a year.  Both he and my parents spoke about his ADHD with his recruiter, and Sean put it on all his paperwork.  My Mom and Dad were witnesses to all of this.  Apparently, someone altered his paperwork so it does not show up anywhere that he ever disclosed that he has it.  When he did his “moment of truth” interview, he told them (again) that he has it, and as far as anyone at the base is concerned he didn’t report that prior.  It’s a nightmare.   He has worked so incredibly hard, and he’s been very successful in his training so far.  To have this come up now is devastating for him and for us.  My parents have been on the phone to everyone they can think of, and they’re trying to get things worked out so he can stay.  Of course now he’s so discouraged that he may not want to stay even if he is given that opportunity.  We’re all trying to stay positive, but we only have two weeks to get it worked out.

I’m not looking forward to this weekend.  VD (not venereal disease… the holiday) is on Sunday, and just thinking about it makes me sad.  I’m trying to just pretend it isn’t happening this year.  All those should’ve beens and would’ve beens… *sigh*  Hopefully by this time next year I have something happy going on.  This year I’m thinking of sleeping through it.

It’s been a blah kind of week.  Coming back from a lengthy vacation always equals a blah week.  My back is incredibly sore, bordering on going out completely.  I had to miss a girls night because of money, which I fear will become a common occurrence since I’m living paycheck to paycheck.  It’s cold and nasty outside.

Just blah.

I have to go home and clean tonight, even though I don’t want to.  My kitchen is a disaster, and I haven’t vacuumed since Saturday.

It might snow tonight.  Trying not to get my hopes up for a snow day, but I could really use one.  How sad that I’ve only been back a week (less than!) and I already need a break.  Thankfully, everyone seems to feel the same.  I think it’s harder for the staff at a school to get back into the swing of things than it is for the kids sometimes.

This has been a busy week.  Monday we had a half-work day, half-meeting day.  The whole staff was trained in RtI, which is what we’re beginning to train in for a process of helping students achieve their greatest success.  I’m the RtI/A-Team chairperson, and attended 6 trainings last year with our core team.  It’s a big shift in thinking for the teachers, so it’s challenging going through training and trying to wrap minds around the new processes.  I know that the staff here will get on board because everyone is so supportive and willing to do what’s best for students.  That’s a bonus.

Yesterday was the first student day back.  One of my favorite kids had a rough morning, and I was glad I was stationed in the hallway and got to help make his morning a little bit better.  The rest of the day was full of new enrollees, getting 504 plans straight, running errands, planning for RtI paperwork, adding meetings to my calendar, and working hard to stay organized and sane.  It was very good to see the kids though; after being here three years, I see familiar faces.  It’s nice having that much time in somewhere because the kids get excited to see you when they return.

This brings me to another topic…

Last year I had put in for an in-county transfer.  I had been toying with the idea for quite some time of moving to the high school level if the opportunity was there.  There wasn’t a position open at any point over the summer, so I prepared to be back at the elementary level.  The first Friday of work days, about a week and a half ago, I saw that one of the local high school’s had posted an opening.  So I called and said I would be interested in interviewing.  The principal there requested a copy of my resume, which I provided.  Then I waited until last Friday, when he called me again.  He was checking to be sure my current principal is aware that I would like to interview for the open position at his school.  She and I had discussed it on Monday, and she was incredibly supportive.  He said that he’d be glad to interview me, and would be in touch with a time as soon as he saw an opening in his schedule.

I’m hopeful that I’ll get an interview, and that he’ll end up offering me the position.  As much as I love the little kids, the other demands of my position make it nearly impossible for me to actually counsel kids.  I just have too many other things that I’m required to do.  I know that I work very well with kids at the high school level, and I’ve missed being in that environment.  I think that it would be a good move for me both professionally and personally, in that I would be much happier.

My friend Bre has already accepted a job at the school, which makes it that much more ideal.  I’d be moving on to the grade span that I enjoy most, and I would already have a friend there so I wouldn’t feel too lonely.  The school colors also happen to be the same as the high school I attended growing up, which is coincidence but a fun one.

We’ll see what happens.  Either way I have a job, and either way I know I have a support system.  This school is wonderful, and I’ve had a good 2+ years here.  If I do end up leaving this school, it will be sad.  There are many people I will miss seeing on a daily basis, most especially the kids.  However, I know what is best for me.  This would be a very positive move if it happened.

So keep your fingers crossed.  Hopefully I’ll hear something about the interview by this Friday.

The summer is rapidly coming to an end, which I find absolutely unbelievable.  When school ended in June, it felt like there were so many days stretching out in front of me.  Apparently all the traveling and all the busy days added up to one whirlwind experience, and now I’m facing a scary reality: work begins again in two days.  We have over a week of teacher work days (don’t ask me why so many) and then students will be back in full force.

This week has been another jam packed week, and will continue to be.  I went to lunch with two good friends, Jenny and Analisa today.  We caught up a little on what’s been happening over the summer, I shared my photos from Disney, and then I had some errands to run.  I got my planner for the year, as well as two books, which I didn’t need… but I wanted them.

Tomorrow I am going to the museum with Bethany.  We had talked about doing this months ago, and for some reason it just never panned out.  I’m looking forward to it, because the weather is supposed to be a bit better (less hot).  After that I’ll come home, relax a bit, and then change and get ready to go to an exercise class with my friend Bre.  Several months ago she and my friend Dana went to a pole dancing aerobics class and they had a blast.  So I said I’d really like to go if there was another one.  I scrapbooked with Bre on Sunday, and she signed me up to go with her.  I’m looking forward to it, simply because it’s something so different… and it’ll be fun to do something like that with a friend.

Friday is work all day, and then this weekend Jake and I are planning to go to Pilot Mountain.  He asked me the other day if I thought I’d want to go this weekend, and even suggested that we do an overnight trip.  I thought it was a fantastic idea, and it is something that we’re very able to do because our neighbor will make sure Merlin is fed and exercised.  I’m really looking forward to going; I’ve heard that it’s absolutely gorgeous there.

I’m not ready for the summer to be over.  I don’t think any of us is.  We’re all apprehensive about how this year will go with our new principal.  I think we’re all going in to things with an optimistic attitude, but there’s always that little nagging doubt in the back of your head.  I had really hoped to be moving up to a high school this year, but there were no openings available.  While I like the younger kids, I don’t believe I’m able to utilize my counseling training as much at the elementary level due to some of the other responsibilities that I have.  Maybe next year.

It’s been a wonderful summer though.  Truly wonderful.  I’ll be hanging on to those memories as I get back to the grind.

Today is a half day for our students… their last day in this school year.  I have mixed feelings about the ending of this school year, and most of them are positive.  This is a complete shift from the previous two years of my working as a counselor.  It’s a shift that I really like and am thankful for.

We were so lucky this year to have a new principal that truly appreciated us all.  He treated everyone as an equal partner in making this school the best possible school it could be.  Not only that, but he made clear that for him, the most important thing was children.  Every decision he made was with the children in mind… and I think we were all happy to finally have someone leading us that believed that. 

This year I was happy to be at work 90% of the time.  The other 10% I was coordinating testing, so that doesn’t count.  I was supported, I was having fun, and I was making a difference in the lives of kids.  I was doing what I went to school to do.  Don’t get me wrong, there are aspects I would change and that I will continue to try to change until I succeed.  Overall though, this has been the best year since I began.  I wasn’t wishing I could just move back to NY and start over as a Residence Director again, that’s for sure.

This ending is sadder than it normally would be, because this principal that has done so much for our school is leaving.  All of us are wondering what awaits us next year, and hoping that it will be as positive as what came our way this year.  We are all terribly saddened that he is leaving.

There are kids moving on to fifth grade that I will miss very much.  There are kindergarteners moving up to first grade that I cannot believe grew so much this year.  There are friendships that have strengthened and become some of the most important in my life.  I have grown a great deal this year, at least professionally. 

I still have a lot of work to do on myself, as I see myself making the same mistakes over and over again personally.  I struggle to express myself, to be honest about my feelings, and to trust that doing so won’t alienate those around me.  But I see myself trying more, and working toward doing better.

This has been a wonderful year.