Fadedwords

I’m not what anyone would call a “Christmas Person.” In high school friends would hum the “You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch” song when I walked by them in the hall.  I’ve been called Scrooge, Grinchy, and most recently Ebby by friends who seem amused by the fact that I just don’t get in to the Christmas Spirit.  I’ve been asked by more religious friends if I dislike the holiday because of the religion associated with it.  My disdain for Christmas has nothing to do with Jesus or God or organized religion, which they may or may not believe.  Thankfully I also don’t fall into the trap of having to prove myself to anyone either.

I dislike Christmas, and pretty much always have, because it’s a commercialized bunch of malarky.  I’ve said since I was in high school that I don’t care what you get me… if you don’t get me anything that’s just fine.  Nobody ever believes me.  I like to get presents, sure, but if you would trade in my present for just treating someone with kindness that’d be enough for me.  Everyone, including myself, is so caught up with material things and money and all that nonsense.  There’s enough good will to fill a thimble, and I think that’s being generous.  I dislike the false pretenses, the obligation to act cheery if you’re not… it’s just not my holiday. 

Occasionally, though, something reminds me that all is not lost.  Right now I’m sitting in my office looking at 22 huge bags of Christmas gifts, as well as two brand new bikes that were brought to me by a local church.  The members of this church have an angel tree every year, and this year they helped 8 of the families at my school.  On top of that, one of the 5th grade classrooms here had an angel tree and the students brought gifts for another family that was in need.  As I look at these things I am reminded that this is what it’s supposed to be about.  It is not about the presents, although they do make people happy.  It is about people giving of themselves selflessly just to bring joy to another person’s life.  These people that gave are complete strangers to the families they got gifts for, but that didn’t matter to them.  And that’s a beautiful thing.

Sometimes you have to look for the good in the world.  Sometimes it shows up at your office carrying 22 bags full of presents. 

I’ve had the kind of day the requires a brownie with chocolate frosting on it, so that’s what I’m having.  I learned months ago that sometimes you just need something, and if you deny yourself you end up feeling bitter about WW and about weight loss and then you make even worse choices than the brownie would have been originally.

I have a conference this week in Greensboro; I thought I had filled out paperwork to get cleared to be out Tuesday-Friday.  Apparently I made a mistake, and I received four phone calls this morning before I was actually near my phone to answer.  It was the secretary at school asking if I was going to be absent today.  Long story short- I had to come in to work for half the day so I wouldn’t lose a whole sick day.  It means I won’t be able to leave for Greensboro until 4ish, which means rush hour traffic and driving after dark.  100% not excited about any of those things.  I really wanted to just get there and deal with registration and all that today.

Brightside of everything is that today is a teacher work day, so no students.  I’m glad about this because I’m just not in the frame of mind to deal with the kiddos today.  I love them and enjoy working with them… but like I said: it’s a frosted brownie day.  That’s no place for small children.

Clearly I haven’t been writing all that often here.  I think I mentioned before that I wasn’t feeling in the mood.  If not, there you have it: I haven’t been in the mood to write.

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Most of you who read this blog are going to get an email today from me about Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.  One of my good friends and coworkers has a 4 year old son that was diagnosed with Type 1 Juvenile Diabetes when he was 2.  Michele, his Mom, has really inspired everyone here at my school to get fired up about this cause. 

Last year my school raised $2500 to donate to JDRF.  Our goal this year is to double that amount, and I really believe we can do it.  We do several things in our building to help: coins for a cure and selling JDRF sneakers.  We didn’t have a walk team last year, but I think with that and an increased sense of excitement about the cause, we will reach our goal of $5000. 

I joined our school’s walk team, and I’m really excited about it.  I’ve set a personal fundraising goal of $100, which isn’t a whole lot but I think it’s reachable.  I have a page at the JDRF site that you can go to and donate.  All donations are tax deductible.  Every little bit helps.  If you can spare fifty cents, then that’s awesome.  If you can donate $2, that’s just as great. 

If you visit the JDRF Walk site you will see an area on the left side of the screen that says “Walk Central Login”.  If you scroll down you will see the words “Donate to a Walker”.  Just enter my first and last name, as well as the state and it will take you to a page that has a direct link to my donation page.    That second link should take you directly to the page, but I’m not 100% positive that it will work.  Try it; if it says my name at the top under the ‘donate to this walker’ button, you’re in the right place.  Otherwise use the first link.

Please help me raise money for this worthy cause.  We’re walking on November 1st. 

I’m glad it’s Friday.  The weeks do seem to drag on sometimes, and this week was another one.  It was a good week, for the most part even though I was looking forward to today.

The little girl I do homebound service with, L, had a better week this week.  Monday was a rough day, as she had to go to the hospital.  The rest of the week was very good; she was very much her usual self.  It was really good to see her in such high spirits, especially after seeing her have such a difficult week.  I ate dinner at their house on Tuesday, and ended up babysitting for a little while so her parents could go out and arrange a surprise for her.  Yesterday we couldn’t do any school work, because unforutnately L’s white blood cells were incredibly low and she was neutropenic.  These things (amongst others) led to her being way too tired.  I did stay for about an hour and a half.  Her mom had to take her grandmother home, so we played with barbies and just had a nice time.  There is a fundraiser for her on Sunday afternoon, and I’m looking forward to going.  I’ve been working with her for over a month now, and I cannot begin to explain how blessed I feel that I’m part of this.  It breaks my heart to see what her and her family go through, but more often than not I am amazed and awestruck at the beauty I’m shown.

After playing email tag, Joy and I got riding figured out.  I am riding tomorrow at 2pm with Mattie.  I will be in Mattie’s lesson group, which I’m kind of bummed about.  I had really hoped to ride with Deb, who I did my lessons with when I first started up riding.  I really got along with her well.  I’m keeping an open mind though; I’ve had very positive experiences with everyone I met at this facility.  I’m looking forward to being in the saddle again, more than I can say.  Joy did say in her last email that it would be good if I could jump with Mattie once or twice before group begins on the 20th… so I’m pretty nervous about that.  Yes, I’ve jumped hundreds of times before… but I have not done that in well over two years.  We’ll see how it goes.  I’m just excited to be back near horses and on a horse, and I’m hoping for another positive experience.  My friend Steve said he might come tomorrow, so it’s possible there will be pictures.  We’ll see.

I went to a conference today in Raleigh about bringing out the best in students.  I truly enjoyed it; there was a lot of information that I found valuable.  Quite a few people from my county went, including my former principal.  It was quite interesting to see her, and I admit that I had a nice conversation with her.

I have worked out hard this week, starting The F*irm dvd set that I bought many months ago.  I’ve pushed myself hard this week and I really hope it pays off.  Tomorrow is weigh in, and I’m nervous/anxious as I always am.  I would love to be down another 1.6… that will give me my 10%.  So we’ll see about that too.

Aaaaand… Jake just called me :)  I wasn’t expecting to hear from him, other than his nifty tracker thingy, until he pulled up in the driveway next Friday.  He’s having fun and says there are tons of pictures.  He and Brian are camping in Alabama right now, and will go back to Mississippi on Monday.  He said he’s thinking of heading back up this way early, so we’ll see on that.   It was incredibly good to hear his voice.

For now I’m off to hop in the shower, so I can try to be in prime shape for the lesson tomorrow.  Wish me luck.