I had a riding lesson yesterday that I had been looking forward to for a long time.  Thanks to some bad weather on the weekends, and then my back going out, I hadn’t ridden in over a month.  I had missed it tremendously and was ready to get back up there.  I was somewhat dreading it as well; lengthy absences from riding make it a bit more painful when you start up again… and I’m not a big fan of my body hurting.

It was chilly out yesterday, but it was sunny and not windy at all.  I got to the barn and we got Missy ready.  We’re excited because my instructor is planning to buy Missy, and it will be a great thing when she does.  Elizabeth is an amazing rider, and Missy always looks stupendous when she’s in the saddle.

When we first started we just trotted around the whole big pasture.  Usually this is cause for great excitement.  Missy loves to long trot in the pasture.  I was surprised when she was a little bit slow-pokey.  On the flip side, I was glad she wasn’t tearing my arms out of the socket trying to get the bit so she could fly around the field!

Elizabeth said after that we were going to work on getting Missy to drop her head.  This is something we work hard on with Missy.  She was trained to carry her head incredibly high and has many years of that bad training ingrained in her brain.  It’s hard work to get her to do it, and in the months since I began riding I have not been able to consistently get her to work that way for me.  I have been able to get her to give that to me for some steps, and for partial circles in the ring.  I have not been able to get her to give me that beautiful head down, on the bit, forward and light motion for the whole side of the field at all.  I certainly have never gotten her to do it at the canter.  It is difficult because it requires so much of my body to get her to do it.  It requires me to have my inside arm keeping constant tension and pulling back elastially on the rein through my elbow and my outside arm to be spread a little wider than usual, also keeping steady pressure.  My hands must be up and forward to allow her to drop her head and reach for the bit.  My hands also sometimes have to see-saw a little to get her to give to what I’m asking.  My arms cannot be tense through this whole thing… they must give and take with her.  My shoulders have to remain back and relaxed.  My whole upper body must remain relaxed actually… tension in that part of my body makes Missy more tense, and causes her not to flex and bend.  While my upper body is doing all of this, my lower body is busy too!  I usually start working with her on this at the sitting trot.  This is because my seat is driving her forward.  This is done by keeping my stomach and lower back relaxed and deep into the saddle, moving with her and pushing forward.  My knees remained closed on the saddle, and my outside leg maintains contact to keep her moving forward.  Meanwhile, my inside leg is bumping her to get her to bed and not get overbent.  My inside seat bone drops a little bit to get my leg longer on that side, so she knows I want her bending around that leg.  All of these parts must do exactly the right thing, with the right force, at the same time… and I must correct things as I feel changes in her, or she will not maintain the bending and the forward motion.  If she starts to slow down and get heavy beneath me, I have to ask for more with my legs an my seat.  If she drops her head and is moving well, I have to give more with my hands so she can drop her head down into the bit.  It is absolutely exhausting, and I had never really gotten it in all my previous lessons.  I’d felt inklings of it, but I always lost it nearly as soon as I got it.  FRUSTRATING.

Yesterday I got it.  We started working around the field and she was still being a little slow, and she was fighting a little with dropping her head.  We trotted 3/4 around the big field, and then turned and changed the rein and went back.  I had some good moments, but no consistency.  We made it back around the ring and turned again.  Elizabeth called out, “Sit even deeper than that!” I tucked my seat under me just a little more and adjusted my hands and arms slightly… and it was like a switch flipped.  It was instantaneous, and as soon as I felt the change in Missy I stored in my head exactly what my body felt like.  She dropped her head and I gave with my hands.  She began moving forward, not increasing her speed but moving out and stretching into the trot.  She was light and effortless and moving so beautifully.  Elizabeth was like, “THAT’S IT!!!!!” We went down the long side, and down around the end came around and went up the other side of the field and she kept it!  I kept having to adjust little things here and there, but she kept it.  She would start to bring her head up and I would work my rein a little more, or I would touch her with my inside leg… and she’d drop right back down.  Elizabeth told me to let her walk after we’d reached the other side and we were both so excited that I’d gotten her to do it.

We walked for a few minutes and then started up again.  I was a little nervous that I would lose that momentum with the break, but Missy came right back to work when I asked her to.  We went down the side and up around the other, with her bent and moving forward.  Elizabeth called out, “Keep pushing and see how long you can go.  Post to get her moving more forward!” Posting is when you rise and fall at the same time as the horse’s outside leg.  Typically when I start to post when we are working her head down, I lose everything.  It’s just too much to ask my body to do at the same time, because on top of all those other things I have to do I also have to use my thighs to propel me out of the saddle every other beat.  It is a whole lot to think about and coordinate my body to do all at the same time.  I started to post and for a minute we lost it, but then I got it back.  For some reason it finally all made sense to me… and I understood the importance of my inside leg when we were doing this.  Elizabeth kept yelling across the field how great we looked and to keep it up.  It was such an amazing time.

We took another break after several trips around the field.  Elizabeth and I couldn’t stop talking about how great Missy was being.  After the break Elizabeth said, “OK, now I want you to canter her down this long side and I want you to keep her head down where we’ve had it.” I replied with, “I will certainly try.” Missy is a very hard horse to canter on.  She gets incredibly heavy and you feel almost like you need to carry her around the field by constantly keeping your legs on her.  This is exhausting for you, and it makes her just race around the ring.  You also have to move with her completely, letting your arms follow the motion of her head, and letting your seat rock with her fluidly.  You can’t shift in the saddle or tighten your reins much because that will either make her break to a trot or race forward.  She’s challenging.  I have never gotten her to canter with her head down, moving forward and light.  Not once.  I was a bit skeptical about my ability to continue to get her to give me what I asked.  I signaled for the canter and she picked it up easily.  She had her head high and at first I was hesitant to ask firmly for her to drop her head.  Elizabeth called out, “Don’t be afraid to ask her strongly!  She’ll give it to you.”  So I relaxed my shoulders, spread my hands, and began keeping strong and steady pressure with my inside rein.  I tapped with my inside leg and… she dropped her head.  The change in her canter was monumental.  I didn’t have to work so hard to move with her because it was so light and so nice.  I didn’t have to touch her with my outside leg one more time as we cantered around the whole field.  I tapped occasionally with my inside leg to keep her forward, but that was it.  It was an incredibly awesome moment for me, because I have been working so hard to feel that from her.

Having a lesson like that is important to me on so many levels.  Getting back into riding after a long hiatus was hard.  It would’ve been hard no matter what, but I had a lot of extra weight that I never had when I rode before.  It made it difficult to get my body to do what I wanted it to do, so I have struggled with things that used to be so easy for me.  It made me feel like I wasn’t a good rider, and made me wonder if I should be riding.  It’s silly, but I want to be good at riding, and when I don’t do well I really have a hard time with it.  It’s not that I haven’t had great lessons before, but I had seen the way Missy has gone for Elizabeth and I so wanted to get the same thing out of her.  It was so amazing to feel the way she is when she is forward and bent and light.

I hurt today.  Everywhere.  It’s a good hurt though, because I know that I rode that horse well and correctly.  This pain tells me that I asked for everything the exact right way, and that I need to do it just that way next time.

I can’t wait until my next lesson.

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I’ve been trying hard to stay on track with food, and exercising.  With our recent snow days I was a bit lazier than I should’ve been.  I did work out on Tuesday, but nothing on Monday.  I’m hoping for the weather to be OK this Sunday so I can ride.

I’m going up to Cary on Sunday to help my friend Steve with some stuff, as well as go out to lunch.  After that I’ll be back here to go to Tammie’s house to watch the Super Bowl.  I’m pretty excited about that, because I haven’t spent any time with Tam recently.

I’m planning a trip to Biltmore with my friend Bethany for April.  I’m super excited about that, because we’re planning to stay over night.  There’s so much to see and do there, and we’ll be there at the heart of the Flower Festival.  YAY.

**PS- anyone have the money to buy me a plane ticket to go to said graduation?  Or, does anyone want to road trip to Great Lakes, IL?

That changed last night/today.

We’re supposed to get about 2-4 inches of snow, and it’s been sleeting all morning too.  It’s always strange to see snow here, even when I know it’s coming.

**I went out this morning (Sunday) and took a couple more pictures.  You can see them all HERE.  The roads are a mess, and while it may melt a bit today it’s going to freeze overnight and make the roads terrible for tomorrow.  We’ll see if we have school tomorrow.

I’ll be spending today snuggled up staying warm.  Merlin isn’t too sure what to do about the snow, and he’s reluctant to go outside and take care of his business.  That adds a whole new layer of fun to my weekend.

In other news, I’m feeling sad and frustrated and a bunch of other things today that I don’t want to get into, beyond saying that I’m feeling them.  I guess that will pass.

Flailing from Kate Moynihan on Vimeo.

I was still unable to work out this week due to my back.  The doctor told me to give it two weeks to get the swelling down completely.  I worked hard to stay on track with food though, but I honestly didn’t think I’d see much of a loss.  I was once again astonished because I lost 6.8 pounds.  I’ve never lost that much in a week, mainly because it’s bad to do that under normal circumstances.  This week was somewhat different because most of that weight is simply fading away from the steroid injection.  I’m still really proud because it means I lost 2.4 pounds of real weight this week.  I am 19 pounds from where I want to be, and I am feeling good enough to work out finally.  I’ll be taking it easy (no worries Mom!), but I do want to try to do at least 2 days this week.  I’ll do more if I’m feeling up to it.

In other news…

Ever since I moved to this area, I drive by this field quite often.  It’s very large, has a pond, and two really gorgeous horses.  I have been trying/waiting to get a photo early in the morning of the horses standing beside the pond, with a reflection in the water.  It took me 3 years, but I finally got it…

You can see all of the photos I took this morning HERE.

He still is the coolest thing that ever happened.

In our lives he has made me laugh, he has made me cry tears of joy and tears of sorrow.  He has made me so angry I couldn’t see straight, and he has made me happy when I didn’t think it was possible.  I have been disappointed with choices he made, and I have also been more proud of him than I have ever been of anyone in my life.

Today is one of the days that I am proud, because today Sean leaves for his 9 week boot camp in the United States Navy.

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that my little brother, the boy I call ‘Kid’, is a grown man setting off to begin his life.  I know that the next 9 weeks will be perhaps the most challenging of his young life, but I know that he will get through it and leave me standing in awe once again.

Good luck Kid.  I love you.

My back, which was out for nearly two weeks, is finally to the point where I can move almost normally.  I’m on some medicine that makes me very sleepy, but it has helped with some pretty tremendous pain.   The long weekend, spent resting on the couch, has also aided my comfort levels.  Merlin stayed with Jake all week, but is finally back home.  I’m glad to have him here with me.

I had to buy groceries today, thanks to being out of things that I absolutely needed.  Now the checking account is a big fat zero.  I hate being in this situation, with no way out of it and no relief in sight.  All I can do is hope for the phone to ring about a second job.

I’m looking forward to next weekend.  My friend Bre has invited a group of us over to scrapbook all day, which we haven’t done since before Christmas.  I’m going to start work on my zoo album, which I’ve been waiting to begin for almost a year.  It’s about time.

Now, thanks to the wonder of NSAID medication, I will be passing out.

Happy Delurking Day!  If you read and typically don’t comment, now’s your time to shine.  Leave a comment and let me know who you are!

I finally caved in and went to the doctor yesterday.  I was in so much pain that I was in tears much of the day, my legs were giving out when I stood up… it was horrible.  I had cortisone injected, as well as steroids anti-inflammatories.  He prescribed another anti-inflammatory that I have to take 3 times a day, as well as a pain medication and a muscle relaxer.  I’ve seen a little improvement, but not a whole lot.  I know it will take time.  I’m also being really good about icing it at least 20 minutes every hour during the day.  I do 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off from the time I get home from work until bed time.  Merlin is staying with Jake until Sunday, as the doctor told me that I didn’t need to be doing that for awhile.  I had asked Jake prior to seeing the doctor though; I was in so much pain walking him that I was literally walking along side the road crying.

I’m thankful for the medicine, because it has helped.  I’m thankful for Jake, because he took the dog and brought me dinner so I wouldn’t have to cook last night.  I’m very thankful for my ice pack.  In about 5 minutes I will be thankful for my cozy bed.  Yeah, it’s not 8 o’clock yet.. but I’m on enough medication to anesthetize a horse, so get off me.