06- Goodbye
Twenty three year old Cotey Mallory led her seventeen hand tall mare, Premie, along the gravel path at the Saratoga Race track. She was entered in several maiden races, and had decided to take her chances in the Travers Stakes. It had been almost a year since the Olympics, and all the hype had almost faded. Her friends Jason and Carrie were at their house, taking care of the other horses. They had had their own barn built at the house in Saratoga, deciding that they would move their permanently after their graduation from Cornell University. As she approached the barn she could see her boyfriend, Sam waiting for her.
“How does the competition look?” she asked as she led Premie into her stall.
“There are a couple that look good, but you two have the best odds. Everyone remembers her before her accident,” he replied. Premie had been in a racing collision at the end of the previous summer, resulting in a badly sprained shoulder and foreleg. She had rested the whole winter, but was now ready to get back into the field.
“She’s all set until race time. Let’s go get something to eat. I didn’t have a chance before I came down here.” Sam rolled his eyes.
“Somehow you never have a chance to do anything before you take care of your horses,” he muttered. Cotey drew in a deep breath. They had been arguing a lot lately.
“This is my job. These horses are my life. Plain and simple,” she replied. He looked at her for a long moment before forcing a smile and putting his arm around her shoulders.
“Let’s go back to the house and eat,” he said. They walked off together in silence.
Later that day Cotey walked into Premie’s stall wearing her purple and hunter green jockey silks. Premie snorted excitedly, knowing it was almost time to race.
“Are you ready to show everyone we’re back?” she whispered to the huge mare. Premie tossed her head and Cotey smiled. “That’s what I thought.” She took her tack and walked to the weigh in area. Usually she was too light for the set weight and had to add weight to her saddle. This time though, she made the set weight and returned to Premie’s stall. She saddled up and led the mare outside. Premie pranced beside her and tossed her head. “Chill out you bone head,” she muttered. Sam was waiting for them.
“You ready?” he asked. She nodded, closing her eyes when he leaned down and kissed her.
“Absolutely.” Sam gave her a leg into the saddle and Cotey put her feet in the stirrups. She got up in her tight racing two point, making sure the stirrups were secure.
“Good luck, we’ll be watching,” he said. She nodded and followed the rest of the riders on to the track. Sam jogged to the grandstands.
“Hey Sam, we’re over here!” a voice called. Sam looked in the direction the voice had come from and smiled when he saw Carrie and Jason.
“Thanks for saving me a seat,” he said, plopping down beside them.
“How was she before they left?” Carrie asked. He shrugged.
“She seemed ok… excited. What position did she draw?”
“Third,” Jason said. Sam smiled and watched as the horses broke from the gate. Cotey took Premie to the rail and put her into second.
“Good job Cotey,” someone said from behind them. Sam turned and saw Matt, Cotey’s older cousin, standing there.
“Hey! Matt, it’s good to see you. Have a seat,” he said with a grin. Matt sat down and they turned their attention back to the race. Cotey had taken the first position by then, and Premie was eating up the track. They went under the wire first, and Cotey stood in her stirrups to slow the mare.
“Let’s get down to the circle,” Carrie said. They hurried down and saw Cotey walking out from the weigh in area. A bright smile was on her face.
“Awesome job C!” Sam exclaimed, giving her a tight hug.
“I cannot believe we just won the Travers,” she muttered. Sam pulled away and she smiled at Carrie and Jason, giving them each a hug.
“Don’t I get a hug?” someone asked. She glanced around and gasped when she saw her cousin Matt.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded, throwing her arms around him.
“I thought I should come since I missed the Olympics. I know this isn’t nearly as big, but I thought I should come out anyway.” Cotey got a boost back on to Premie’s back, and smiled for photographs. Behind her smile though, she was thinking about the Olympics. They hadn’t gone nearly like she had expected them to, and she rarely talked about it. Sam reached up and squeezed her hand suddenly, and she smiled down at him before looking back to the photographers. It was going to be a long day.
In the morning Cotey was up early and went outside to exercise Incense.
“Morning handsome,” she greeted the big black gelding. She groomed him and then got him saddled up. It was a beautiful morning, cool and sunny. Cotey led him into the jumping paddock and swung into the saddle, leaning down to check her girth before moving forward at a walk. “Let’s take the jumps one at a time today bone head,” she murmured. She warmed up at a trot and an easy canter before letting him walk again. After several more minutes she signaled him to canter, moving toward the first jump. Incense’s ears pricked forward and he tried to pick up speed. Cotey smiled, holding him in check. Incense slowed a bit and they went over the jump with ease. The rest of the course went just as smoothly, and Cotey patted his neck. “Good boy!” she exclaimed.
“That looked nice,” a voice said. She turned in the saddle and smiled at Sam. He was standing at the fence with Carrie and Jason.
“Thanks. He’s not even winded,” she said, giving Incense another pat.
“What are you training him for? Endurance or something?” Sam asked.
“Yeah. I was thinking about taking him through the woods and countryside… see how he does.” Sam frowned.
“What about all your races?” he demanded.
“I canceled my entries. I think he needs something new to do, and I think he’ll like this. If he’s any good I could win some competitions. What do you guys think?” she asked.
“I think you’ll do a great job with whatever you decide to do. Incense certainly has it in him to win some events.” Cotey looked to Sam hopefully.
“I think you’ll do whatever you want anyway, but I’m pretty sure Premie would bring in more money. After the wins at Saratoga she would have been big in the Derby.” Cotey looked at him incredulously.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. The Kentucky Derby? How precisely do you expect me to get her there?”
“Drive. Premie…” Cotey cut him off, dismounting and running up her stirrups.
“Premie hates long trailer rides. I’d have to give her tranquilizers, and I hate doing that to her unless it’s absolutely necessary. This isn’t absolutely necessary. I have plenty of money,” she muttered, leading Incense toward the barn.
“Cotey I was just trying to help!” Sam called. She didn’t turn around and he sighed.
“I think you missed your mark on that one Sam,” Jason said. Sam glared at him.
“Thanks a lot Jas. I’ll be back,” he muttered, walking into the barn. Cotey was in Incense’s stall, grooming the big gelding. She didn’t turn to look at him when he came in. “Hey,” he said. She didn’t answer, so he reached out to touch her shoulder. Cotey shrugged his hand away.
“Don’t,” she muttered angrily. He sighed.
“I was just telling you what my opinion on the situation is. I’m not going to lie just to make you happy.”
“I didn’t want you to lie. I wanted you to show a little support no matter what your opinion was.” They were silent for a long moment. She turned, looked at him, and said, “I’m doing endurance with Incense.”
“Whatever you want to do,” he said. She nodded and walked out of the stall, picking up her tack and sliding the stall door closed. “Let’s go up to the house and get some breakfast. I know you probably haven’t eaten yet.”
“Nope, not yet.” He followed her to the tack room, unable to see her face… unable to see how angry she still was.
Later that day, after driving around to some points on the trail she’d take to drop off bales of hay, Cotey mounted Incense and took her backpack from Sam and looked down at her friends and cousin.
“I’ll be back in about four days,” she explained, adjusting her position in the saddle.
“Are you sure you don’t want anyone to go with you?” Sam asked. Her cousin Matt was standing beside him and nodded.
“Yeah, I think…” Cotey cut him off with a laugh.
“I know what you think. You don’t think I should be going out there alone. Guess what?”
“You’re going to go anyway,” Matt said. She smiled.
“You know, my brother Patrick is coming to visit, and he’s going to be here before you get back. You’ll miss his arrival,” Sam said suddenly. “You know how much he likes you.”
“He’ll be here when I get back, so don’t worry about it,” she said.
“You’ll do what you want anyway, so I’m not even going to bother. I’ll see you later Cotey.” She watched as he sauntered away and frowned.
“What is his problem?” she muttered.
“He’s probably just upset that he’s not going,” Jason said. “You two haven’t been spending much time together lately.”
“I guess so but…” she trailed off with a shake of her head. They all looked at her.
“But what?” Jason demanded. She sighed and shrugged.
“Nothing, I’m just overreacting. I’ll see you in a few days. I left the map of my route on the counter in the kitchen. If I’m not back in a couple days, come on out and start looking. Don’t get paranoid though.”
“We’ll miss you,” Carrie said. Jason slapped her five and Matt patted her knee.
“Be careful Cote, I don’t want to spend any time visiting you in the hospital.
“Relax. I’ve been doing this a long time,” she replied confidently. “I’ll see you all soon. Tell Sam I’ll miss him!” she called.
“We will! Bye!” they all yelled as she galloped out of the stable yard.
Later that day Cotey pulled up beside a stream. He was warm, but not sweating yet.
“You’re doing great big guy. We’re making good time, so let’s have some lunch. She dismounted and sat on the ground beside him. She let her mind drift back to the way Sam had acted before she left. She sighed and began to eat her sandwich, knowing it would be a long three days.
Back at the house Jason and Sam were sitting by the pool. Sam was still in a bad mood, and Jason was getting annoyed.
“When is Patrick getting here?” Jason asked. Sam drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Thursday I think. Cotey’s going to miss him. That’s so rude,” he muttered.
“She’s not being rude… she needs to work her horses. If Matt was coming and you had to condition Law, you’d still work her wouldn’t you?”
“I guess, but…” Jason cut him off and put his hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t say that it’s different, because it’s not.”
“You know, I thought you’d be on my side on this.”
“I’m not taking sides on this one. It’s not up to anyone what she does. If she needs to do that for her horses then we should just support her.”
“Fine. I’m going to go up and call Patrick. I’ll talk to you later.”
“You don’t need to get defensive with me. I don’t need to agree with you all the time… neither does Cotey.” Sam nodded and stalked away. Jason shook his head and plopped down in one of the deck chairs, not caring if his friend was angry or not.
Meanwhile, Cotey had remounted and was cantering Incense along a dirt road. She was up in her two point, and any observer would think she was concentrating hard on the task at hand. In reality, her mind was still on Sam. Suddenly Incense sidestepped to avoid a dead squirrel, catching her completely off guard. She went off with a thump, still gripping her reins tightly.
“Sorry handsome, that’s my fault,” she muttered, getting up, brushing herself off and remounting. She asked him for a canter again and they moved off.
Sam woke up late that night, sweat pouring down his face. The nightmare had been about Cotey. He was sure of that, despite the fact that he hadn’t actually seen her in the dream. He took several deep breaths, thinking about all their fights lately. With a shake of his head he murmured, “I’ll have to apologize to her when she gets back.”
When Carrie awoke the next morning she heard a car door slamming in the driveway. She got up and went outside and found that Sam’s brother, Patrick was there.
“You’re early!” she exclaimed. He smiled and gave her a tight hug.
“Yeah, Sam told me to come whenever I was ready. Where’s Cotey?” he asked. Carrie hesitated.
“She went out on an endurance run,” Sam’s voice cut in. Carrie turned and saw Sam standing at the front door with a smile on his face. “She’ll be home tomorrow or the next day.” Patrick looked a little disappointed, but shrugged.
“That’s great. How’s riding been going for her?” he asked.
“Well you saw the Olympics, and she’s won a ton of shows since then,” Sam explained. Carrie looked at Sam, confused at his sudden lightheartedness about Cotey’s riding.
“I need to go get dressed guys. Where’s Jason?”
“Out working More. He told me to tell you he’s sorry he didn’t wait,” Sam explained.
“I’ll forgive him just this once,” she kidded. “I’m going to go get my riding stuff on, and keep him company.” She waved and walked back into the house.
“She’s nice. You’re lucky to have such great friends,” Patrick said. Sam nodded, but couldn’t help thinking about he’d treated Cotey the previous day.
“Yeah, I am. Let’s get you settled,” he said, leading Patrick into the house.
The next morning at almost three a.m. Cotey arrived home. She got Incense settled into his stall, put her tack away, and then walked up to the house. She let herself in quietly, and started for the stairs that would take her to her room so she could sleep.
“Welcome home,” Sam’s voice said, cutting through the darkness. She turned toward the sound and could just make out his form sitting on the couch in the living room.
“What’re you doing up?” she asked. He stood and came toward her, stopping a few steps away from her.
“I thought I should be here to welcome you home,” he explained as he placed his hands on her shoulders.
“How’d you know I’d be here?” she questioned, her voice soft.
“You’re always early,” he said simply.
“Am I really?”
“Yeah.” He leaned down and kissed her gently, then wrapped his arms around her and held her in a tight hug.
“Sam, I’m really tired and…” she trailed off when he didn’t let her go. “Did you miss me?”
“Definitely.” She pulled away and started to leave the room.
“Goodnight Sam, I’ll see you in the morning.” He stared after her, the girl he’d loved for over five years, and wondered what would happen next.
Cotey awoke early the next morning to check on the horses. She stopped at Premie’s stall and smiled at the mare.
“I missed you girl,” she said, rubbing behind her ear. Premie leaned into the scratch and Cotey grinned.
“She missed you a lot,” a voice said. Cotey turned and saw Sam and Patrick standing a few feet away.
“Hey!” she exclaimed, giving Patrick a tight hug. “I missed you,” she said.
“I missed you too. So is Sam treating you ok?” he questioned with a big smile. Cotey nodded and flashed a grin, but her mind flashed back to all the fights recently.
“Yeah, he’s great. You guys feel like watching me ride?” she asked. Patrick nodded and waited while she saddled up, then followed her out to the ring. “Give me a leg up?” Patrick nodded and gave her a boost into the saddle. Cotey moved Premie into the ring. There was an easy jump course set up. Cotey warmed up, and then began the course. They cleared everything, until the last combination. Premie refused any easy two foot fence and Cotey flew off. She landed on her right side, but knew immediately that she was fine. Suddenly Patrick and Sam were standing above her, both looking worried.
“Are you ok?” they asked in one voice. She stood up with a nod and a smile.
“I’m fine. You guys need to relax,” she said, going back to Premie’s side and checking her girth quickly. Sam stood behind her.
“Tell me the truth,” he ordered. She frowned, turning to face him.
“I just told you the truth Sam. I learned my lesson when I lied about it the first time.” She turned back to Premie and said, “Please give me a leg up so I can finish with her?” Sam sighed but did as she said. Patrick and Sam watched as she urged Premie over the last jump, and then as she rode out of the ring. She went down the dirt road, her back ramrod straight. Sam sighed and stalked to the barn to get Law saddled.
Sam rode down the road and turned into the words. He found himself getting angry all over again, and was ready to let Cotey know just how angry. He turned down the first path he came to. She was sitting atop Premie in a clearing, watching a deer across the way. She wasn’t crying, which surprised him. She turned suddenly and frowned when she saw him.
“Couldn’t you just leave me alone for five minutes?” she demanded angrily.
“Why would I want to do something like that? Who knows, maybe suicide runs in the family,” he muttered. He regretted it instantly.
“If it did, I would’ve killed myself a long time ago.” She was silent for a moment, her head bowed. When she looked up at him he could see the pain in her eyes. “That was the most horrible thing anyone has ever said to me,” she said.
“I didn’t mean it,” he said, moving Law forward. She shook her head.
“You never mean the things that hurt Sam. You mean all the good things, but you assume you can just take back or erase all the bad ones. You think it’s all just forgotten, but it’s not.” She took a deep breath and then said, “I can’t do this anymore.” Sam looked at her, swallowing hard.
“You don’t mean that,” he said confidently. When she didn’t say anything he added, “Do you?”
“Not so sure of yourself anymore are you?” He shook his head. “I’m serious. We’ve had a lot of good times… but it’s been bad for a long time Sam. I can’t take the fighting and I can’t take you always trying to fix things for me. I can’t do it anymore. I won’t do it anymore.” Sam’s head was spinning; they’d been together too long to end it over one stupid fight.
“Cotey, let’s talk about this,” he muttered. He knew that she didn’t really want to break up with him… he was almost sure of it. Almost.
“I don’t want to talk anymore.” She looked away and said, “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
“How can it not be hard?” he demanded. She looked back at him and he could see her bottom lip quivering uncontrollably, but she managed not to cry.
“Just let it go. I need you to leave my house… just don’t drag this out.”
“I don’t want to break up with you,” he said softly. She looked at him with sad eyes.
“You’re not. I’m breaking up with you. We’re twenty-three years old Sam, let’s be adults about this. It’s time for us to go our separate ways.” Sam swallowed hard, feeling tears brimming in his eyes. Cotey turned away for longer this time. When she turned back she looked at him seriously.
“Don’t do this,” he whispered desperately. She swallowed hard.
“I’ll see you back at the house,” she said. She turned Premie around and told him to trot. Sam didn’t go after her, thinking that somehow she would change her mind if he gave her time to think.
When Carrie saw Cotey’s tear streaked face, she rushed to her friend’s side.
“What’s the matter?” she demanded, putting an arm around Cotey’s shoulders.
“I just broke up with Sam,” she explained. Carrie couldn’t stop her jaw from dropping.
“You did what?” she muttered. Cotey nodded, plopping down on the couch.
“He’s moving out in the next few days.” Carrie sighed and watched as Cotey brushed tears from her face and stand up. “I’ll be in my room,” Cotey said, leaving the room and jogging up the stairs. Several moments later Carrie heard the bedroom door close, and the radio came on. The song Cryin’ by Aerosmith could be faintly heard. And even though Carrie couldn’t see it, up in her room Cotey had sunk to the floor and was leaning against her door crying.
Almost one week later Sam put the last box in Patrick’s car. He had found an apartment close to the racetrack. Cotey sat in her room watching as he closed the car door. She looked away, standing and turning on her radio. The same Aerosmith CD from the week before was in the player. Moments later someone knocked on her door and she opened it. It was Sam. He looked down at her for a long moment.
“Can I come in?” he asked. She nodded and stepped out of the way so he could enter. Once he was inside she closed the door and turned back to him. They looked at one another for a long time before he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her.
“I’m sorry it had to end like this,” she whispered.
“Me too. Then again, I’m sorry it had to end at all.” She slid her arms around his waist. They hugged for a long time, until the song on the radio ended. Sam pulled away and forced a smile. “I’ll miss you,” he murmured. She nodded and watched as he walked out of the room. Cotey took a deep breath before following him. He was standing in the driveway, hugging Carrie and Jason. Cotey stood on the porch steps, hands stuffed into the pockets of her jeans. Sam saw her and gave a little wave before getting into Patrick’s car. Patrick backed out of the driveway slowly, and Cotey and Sam caught each other’s eyes and saw the same thing there: I love you.
