13- Final Farewell
Jessica Michaels led Fantasy through the crowded aisle at the National Horse Show. It had been almost three months since Jess’s harrowing experiences with Patrick. Cotey was still tacking Miami up, and Jess needed to do the same with Fantasy. It was two days before the competition would begin, but there was still a lot of practice going on.
“Jess are you going to use bell boots?” Cotey asked as Jess walked by the stall.
“I’m not sure yet… she doesn’t seem like she’ll need them. Do you need them for Miami?”
“I don’t know. Remember how he got that gash in his heel a couple months ago? I’m just wondering if the grand prix course will cause it to hurt again. I mean, if he nicks any rails, he could break it open again.”
“Fantasy isn’t going to have any issues, so you can use them if you want. I’ll put them in your tack box. Where’s Sam?”
“He’s walking around with the twins. All the kids were excited when they found out they were coming, especially Beth. Nobody even thought Jason was coming.” Jess nodded curtly, but knew what Cotey was up to.
“I’m glad Dom and Rachy came. They’re both so excited about showing in their pony class. I remember my first class when I was four,” she said.
“Sam talked me into it. I didn’t really want them in a big show this early, but the kids seemed really excited about it.”
“I’m going to get Fantasy ready for some dressage,” Jess said.
“I’ll be out in a minute to watch. It’s weird being your instructor and riding against you all at the same time,” Cotey said with a smile.
“I’ll see you out there,” Jess said. Cotey smiled and watched the twenty-two year old walk away.
In the ring Jess mounted and told Fantasy to walk. The horse obeyed, prancing forward.
“Go easy you dope, we’re not doing any jumping today,” Jess whispered with a smile. The mare calmed down quickly. Jess began her dressage test, concentrating on the difficult moves. They moved through all the moves, making perfect figures and extending and collecting at the right times. Cotey stood in the center of the ring, watching closely.
“I saw your aids when she wouldn’t move into passage the first time you asked her!” Cotey called.
“I know… she just hates to do this,” Jess muttered.
“Don’t use your spurs. In fact, take them off and give them to me.” Jess went to the center of the ring and removed them, handing them to Cotey.
“Do you want me to start over?” she asked. Cotey nodded and watched as Jess began the test again. She got to the point where Fantasy was supposed to move into passage, and the mare obeyed instantly. Jess smiled and went on, finishing the routine.
“Good, but when you did your twenty meter circles you didn’t have enough bend.”
“I’ll work on that later. Right now I want to go over the pleasure riding class.”
“After that she gets a break.” Jess smiled.
“I know. I’m just getting the flat work out of the way.”
“Do you remember how this class works?” Cotey asked. Jess nodded, moving to the rail.
“Yup. The judge will call out a gait or transitions and I have to do it.”
“Exactly. I’ll call out some stuff.” Jess nodded and kept Fantasy at an easy walk.
“Alright,” she said. Cotey smiled and watched as Jess went around the ring.
“Sitting trot!” she called. Jess went around a few times, keeping the mare at a smooth trot. “Canter!” Fantasy began cantering instantly. Cotey smiled and yelled, “Halt!” Fantasy stopped. “Canter please!” Fantasy picked it up again and Cotey let them go around twice before calling, “Rising trot!” Fantasy dropped down to a trot and Jess began posting on the correct diagonal. “Alright, you can come to the center!” Jess rode in and halted in front of her.
“How was that?” Cotey smiled and nodded, holding the reins as Jess dismounted.
“Beautiful… I’m afraid to ride against you. Go on and cool down. When Sam gets back will you have him come down here and help me out? You can help the twins with jumping, they like it when you work with them.”
“Ok. I’ll get her settled and then I’ll send Sam down.” Cotey smiled and went to get Miami from one of the grooms. Jess watched as she mounted and rode off.
The show began on schedule with adult hunter jumpers first. Cotey had drawn the first ride, and she knew she needed to set the bar high for the rest of the competition. Jess watched as Cotey rode into the ring. Miami seemed off, and they had four faults.
“Nice job Cotey,” Jess said. Cotey sighed and shook her head.
“Definitely not my best showing. Good luck kiddo, you’ll need it,” she said. Jess nodded and rode into the ring.
“Come on Fantasy, let’s show all these people how it’s done,” she whispered. She saluted the judges and then began the course. She went clear, receiving applause from the audience. She smiled and rode from the ring at a brisk trot. Cotey was smiling broadly.
“Great job Jess. I have a feeling Crystal might give you a run for your money.” Jess smiled at her best friend Crystal, who was also riding in the show.
“Good luck Crys,” she said. Crystal nodded and rode into the ring, and also had a clear round. No other riders went clear, and Jess smiled at Crystal.
“Jump off time!” Crystal exclaimed. Jess smiled and watched Crystal take the new course. The girl had one rail down on the fifth fence. She came out of the ring and smiled. “This one’s harder than the first,” she said. Jess smiled and rode Fantasy into the ring. They went over jump after jump, fast and clean. When she landed after the last jump she grinned, letting Fantasy canter a circle before she pulled up.
“Good girl,” she said, patting the mare’s neck. She rode out of the ring and grinned at Cotey.
“Your first blue at the National. How does it feel?” Cotey asked. Jess smiled.
“It feels awesome.”
Later that afternoon was the pleasure class. Cotey and Jess entered the ring together, Cotey taking the lead. The judge began calling instructions. “Canter!” she called. Jess was the first to do it, and she passed Cotey and Miami. “Trot!” the judge called. Once again, Jess was first. Soon she and Cotey were the only ones left on the rail. “Alright ladies, let’s make this quick,” the woman said with a smile. “Canter please.” Jess began first, but she let her guard down too soon. “Halt!” the judge called suddenly. Miami stopped dead in his tracks, and then Fantasy did. Cotey smiled and winked at Jess.
“Maybe next time Jess,” she said. Jess laughed and nodded.
At the hotel that night Jess stayed in a room with Rachel, Dominick, and Beth. There was a small main room with a twin bed and a pullout couch, and then a bigger room where Jess would be sleeping. Cotey and Sam came in to say goodnight.
“Nice job today Jessi, you gave Cotey a run for her money,” Sam said. She smiled.
“Thanks. She had it all along though. We’ll see you guys in the morning,” Jess said. Cotey and Sam left. Ten minutes later there was a knock on the door.
“Who is it?” she called.
“It’s Jason, can I come in? I want to say goodnight to Bethy.” Jess opened the door reluctantly and moved aside so he could come in. Beth ran to her father and gave him a big hug.
“Hi Daddy! I’m having so much fun with Rachel and Dominick. Thank you for bringing us!” Jason smiled.
“I’m glad you’re having such a good time kiddo. Now, get into bed. I’ll ready you a story.” He followed her to the twin bed she was sleeping in. Jess listened for a moment, but then went into her room. Jason came in a few minutes later.
“They’re all asleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.” There was a long moment of silence. “You did a nice job today,” he added. She nodded, but didn’t say anything. “Could you please not ignore me?”
“Sorry, that’s a little kid trait I can’t seem to get rid of,” she muttered mockingly. Jason sighed and moved closer.
“You know I didn’t mean that Jess.” She shook her head and turned away from him.
“I don’t know anything. I need to get to bed… busy day tomorrow.” Jason put his hand on her shoulder.
“I’ll find you tomorrow sometime. I want to talk to you.”
“I’m thrilled,” she said. Jason sighed again, but turned and left. When he was gone, Jess plopped down on the bed, sighing deeply. Jason Fute had her mind spinning, and she wasn’t sure how to make it stop.
Early the next morning Jess walked down to the arena. It was still quiet in the barn, but there were still a few early risers grooming their horses. Two of those early risers were Dominick and Rachel.
“Hey, I though you guys were still in bed!” she exclaimed.
“Nope. Mommy, Daddy, and Uncle Jason brought us down a little while ago. Beth is warming Island up for me.” Jess smiled, knowing how much Beth loved to ride.
“Great. I’m going to check on Fantasy and then go watch Bethy. I’ll see you guys later,” she said. She stopped at Fantasy’s stall and Jess patted her neck. “How about we go out for a little exercise?” she murmured. She went down the aisle and got her tack, then got Fantasy ready. When she was done, she rode Fantasy into the exercise ring. Beth was there, being led around the ring by Jason. Jess asked Fantasy to trot, and they moved around with ease. Jess posted, focusing on her position. After a few minutes they moved into a canter. They had passed by Island a couple times before he suddenly kicked out at Fantasy. The mare reared up, but Jess stayed with her easily. Island bolted, pulling the lead from Jason’s hand.
“Daddy help!” Beth yelled. Jess urged Fantasy into a canter, knowing that they could catch the pony easily.
“Hang on to his mane Bethy, I’m coming!” Jess called. She reached them quickly and reached over to grab the reins. She pulled back gently and Island dropped down to a trot and then a walk. Beth swallowed hard.
“Thanks Jess… that was scary.” Jess smiled and led Beth and led her back to Jason.
“Here you go. Next time don’t teach her in an exercise ring at a huge horse show. Maybe then this kind of thing won’t happen,” she told him. He sighed.
“Thanks for the advice Jess, I’ll take that into consideration. Come on Beth, let’s go tell Dom Island is ready,” he muttered, leading them away. Jess sighed and asked Fantasy to trot.
“Well I made a mess out of that, didn’t I girl?” she murmured.
Cotey rode into the dressage ring that evening. Miami looked beautiful and so did she.
“Come on big guy, let’s show this crowd what a real dressage horse looks like,” she whispered, trotting to center, halting and saluting. She began the test, going perfectly until she missed a pirouette. She groaned inwardly, but knew she couldn’t correct an error like that. She rode out of the ring and dismounted.
“I hope you do better than that Jess… that was the stupidest mistake I’ve ever made.”
“You’ll place. Come on girl, let’s go,” she said. She mounted and rode into the arena. Fantasy was unusually uptight, and Jess tried to calm her own nerves in an attempt to relax the mare. They moved through the first part of the test, but there was a loud clang behind them just as Jess was asking for a canter. Fantasy reared and jumped to the side, sending Jess flying. She hung on to the reins tightly and got up immediately. A judge jogged into the ring.
“Are you alright Miss Michaels?” jess smiled and nodded, mounting again.
“I’m fine… just a little embarrassed? May I do the test over? I know I’m disqualified, but I don’t want to end on such a bad note with her.”
“Let me go ask the other judges. If they say yes we’ll wave you on.” Five minutes passed before Jess was waived on. She began over, this time riding the test perfectly. When she ended, the audience erupted into applause, standing as she left the ring. Cotey was waiting, her face worried.
“Are you ok?” she asked. Jess dismounted and nodded, leading Fantasy toward her stall.
“I’m fine… just a little disappointed in myself. I can’t believe I fell off in front of all those people.” Cotey smiled and put her arm around her shoulders.
“You proved yourself by getting back on and starting over. Everyone out there knows you’re talented, and they respect you.” Jess smiled and unsaddled Fantasy.
“Well, at least Fantasy knows who’s boss,” she said. Cotey smiled and watched as the beautiful girl led Fantasy the rest of the way to the stall.
Jason was waiting for her when she got to the stall.
“Are you ok Jess?” he demanded, opening the stall door for her.
“Perfect,” she muttered sarcastically. Jason sighed.
“Why do you have to be like that? You know what I meant. You’re not hurt anywhere are you?”
“You mean other than my pride? I can’t believe I fell off in the National.”
“Nobody out there thinks you’re a bad rider. They all admire you. Hell, Beth thinks you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread.”
“Great. I’ve gotta’ take her down to the walking ring and cool her down. I’ll see you later.” She started to leave, but he put his hands on her shoulders.
“Wait a minute Jess,” he muttered. She stared up at him.
“What?” Jason took a deep breath, then leaned down and kissed her. Jess didn’t hesitate, but didn’t give too much either. When he pulled away he smiled a little.
“I think it’s important that you know that I love you,” he said. She shook her head and led Fantasy away, not knowing what to say.
The next day Jess got to the barn at four thirty. She fed Fantasy and then groomed her while she was eating.
“We’re going to do so well today that nobody will doubt us girl,” she told the mare. Fantasy arched her neck and turned to look at her rider.
“Nobody doubts you now Jessi,” Sam said, coming into the stall.
“Hey, you scared me half to death! What’s up?” He shrugged and picked up a brush.
“Nothing. The twins are coming down soon to groom their ponies. They want to do really well today.”
“They will, they’re both such good riders. Won’t it be kind of weird for them, being in the same classes?”
“Life is full of awkward moments Jessi, but with two experienced people handling things, everything should go fine,” he said, with definite double meaning.
“I know what you’re getting at Sam, but you should really not bother. Jason and I aren’t involved now, and we won’t be until he can get his priorities straight.”
“So you really think that he’s still mourning Carrie?” Jess shrugged.
“Let’s say that I don’t doubt it. Jason loved her a lot, and I don’t think that it just disappears. He may say that he loves me, but I think he’s just in love with being in love.”
“He told you that he loved you?” Sam demanded, his eyes wide. Jess shrugged.
“Yeah, but he didn’t really mean it.”
“He wouldn’t say that to someone unless he was sure he meant it, not after Carrie.”
“I need to get down to the ring and talk with the judges and Cotey about something. They asked us to do a dressage demonstration, and we’re trying to get out of it.”
“She mentioned something about that. Have some faith in Jason Jess. If he says he loves you, he does.” Jess nodded, walking from the stall quickly.
Cotey and Jess walked the grand prix course together. The jumps were huge, but Jess knew that Fantasy could take them.
“So what do you think?” Jess asked. Cotey smiled and shrugged, silently counting paces between a combination.
“Tough, but we can do it. Miami isn’t as experienced at this as Fantasy is, but he’ll do his best.”
“You’re going to do fine. I hope Fantasy isn’t planning on pitching me again today,” she muttered. Cotey laughed and they walked out of the ring.
Jess rode first in the event, but knew she could set a hard pace. Jess smiled and saluted the judges. She patted Fantasy’s neck and asked her for a canter. They went fast. Jess stayed in her two-point the whole round, giving the mare lots of rein over every fence. They went over the last jump and Jess held her breath. The crowd began to cheer and she knew she had gone clear. Jess let out a sigh of relief and rode from the ring.
“Good lord Jessica, could’ve you make it any harder? 30:00? I can’t believe you went that fast with no faults,” Cotey said.
“I had a great teacher,” Jess replied. Cotey smiled and rode into the ring.
Jess took the blue in the grand prix class, and was standing by the rail when it was time for the twins to jump.
“Alright guys, just do your best,” she said. They both nodded.
“OK Jess. Thanks for helping us with our jumping,” Rachel told her.
“Yeah, thanks Jessi. I hope I do OK,” Dominick said quietly. Jess patted his knee.
“Don’t worry about winning you two. The important thing is to have fun and do your best. Remember that.” Dominick was called into the ring and they watched as he and Island moved around the course. Jess and Rachel watched as they went clear, but it was a form class and his position was a little sloppy. Dominick came out smiling.
“How did I do?” he asked.
“You did great. Let’s watch Rachy ride,” she said. They watched as his twin put Sunny through the course. She did an excellent job, her form perfect. They also went clear. Dominick gave her a high five when she came out, but the girl was frowning.
“What’s wrong Rach?” Jess asked. Rachel dismounted.
“Nothing. I just had too many strides between the last two jumps, and I let her have too much rein. So then the next jump was bad.”
“Rachel Giran, you did a great job on that course. Let’s go get these guys cooled out and wait for them to announce ribbons.”
Almost twenty minutes later Rachel was awarded first prize. She smiled happily for the cameras and patted Sunny’s neck. When she came out of the ring she smiled at Jess.
“You were right, I did do a good job,” she said happily.
“You did a good job before you won Rachel, and it would’ve been fine if you hadn’t placed.”
“OK. I’m going to go put Sunny away. I’ll see you later.” Jess watched as she led Sunny away, and shook her head.
“What’s wrong?” a voice from behind her asked. She turned, coming face to face with Jason.
“Nothing,” she muttered, turning and walking toward Fantasy’s stall. Jason followed her.
“Come on, what’s going on? One of your students just won the pony jumping division of the NHS. Shouldn’t you be happy?”
“No. Not when she thought she did a bad job when she finished riding, and now she thinks she did a good job only because she won.”
“Little kids are like that. You use to do the same thing.” Jess shook her head and started to groom Fantasy.
“No I didn’t. I was four when I started taking lessons from Caro. Whenever I showed, I went in and did my best. When I came out I always thought I could’ve done better, even if I got first place. Rachel only thinks she did a good job because she won.”
“Is that so bad?” he asked. Jess nodded and began plating the mare’s mane.
“Yeah, because the next time she shows and gets third place, she’ll think she did a bad job. That isn’t necessarily the case.”
“I guess you have a point,” he murmured. He watched her for a moment before asking, “Why are you getting her all dolled up? I thought you were done.”
“Cotey and I have a demonstration to do.”
“Oh. Well I better get back out and save Sam from Beth. She’s trying to talk him into convincing Daddy to buy her a horse.”
“Great. Maybe she’ll be the next Cotey Mallory.” Jason nodded and smiled.
“Or maybe she’ll be the next Jessica Michaels.” Jess smiled and turned away, glancing over her shoulder to watch him as he walked away.
Two days later everyone was home. The horses were settled, and Jess was out riding Magic on the track at Cotey’s. They had just a rough training oval that was a mile around. Cotey stood at the fence watching.
“Well the relaxed world of show jumping hasn’t ruined your style Jess,” she said. Jess grinned. “Take Jeeves out, gallop until the turn, then breeze the next quarter of a mile.” Jess nodded and got a leg into the saddle.
“After this could I talk to you about something?” she asked. Cotey nodded.
“Sure. Go on out and I’ll time you. Good luck kiddo, he hasn’t had much exercise since we left.” Jess smiled and went out onto the track. Jeeves was full of himself, but she made him behave. When she came out, Cotey was smiling. “That looked great. Now what did you want to talk to me about?”
An hour later Cotey was smiling at Jess.
“So you want to either buy Fantasy or breed her with one of your father’s stallions? What about Magic?”
“I was thinking of giving her to Beth Fute. Beth really likes Magic, and he’s getting older. Anyway, Magic can’t do dressage or grand prix anymore. I need a show horse, because even during racing season I’ll want to show.”
“Are you doing this for Beth, or are you doing this for you?” she asked.
“I wouldn’t give him away unless it was for a good reason. Jason was telling me earlier that he wasn’t going to buy Beth a horse, so I thought I’d give her mine. I’ve been thinking about selling her for a long time anyway.”
“Why don’t you hold off for awhile? I mean, maybe we can breed Fantasy after Christmas time. Just wait, you might get a horse of your own.”
“Do you know something I don’t about me and a new horse?” Cotey shrugged and stood.
“I don’t know. Why don’t you go over to Jason’s and give Beth the horse now? You can ride Fantasy whenever you like.”
“Thanks Cotey. I don’t know if I’ll be back tonight, but I’ll see you around.”
“Give him another chance Jess,” Cotey murmured. Jess nodded and walked out.
Jason and Beth were in the indoor arena when Jess arrived. Beth was riding a Jason’s horse, More. Jess led Magic into the ring.
“Hey Jess,” Jason said. Jess smiled and glanced at Beth. She was moving around the ring at a posting trot.
“I have a question for you. Are you going to buy Bethy a horse or not?” Jason kept an eye on his daughter.
“Not right yet. I don’t want to spend the money if she’s not going to stick with riding.”
“What if someone were to give her a good horse, and would take it back if Beth decided she didn’t want it?” Jason glanced at Jess, and then at Magic.
“No way. I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t ask me to. Now are you going to take her, or am I going to give her to Beth myself?” Jason sighed.
“Go give her to Beth, if that’s what you really want.” Jess nodded and led Magic toward Beth.
“Hey Beth, pull up for a minute!” she called. Beth stopped More easily, already able to handle the big thoroughbred even though she was only almost four. She smiled at Jess.
“Hey Jessi! What’s Magic doing here?” Jess shrugged and helped the little girl dismount.
“Well, I thought she’d like to stay here for a little while and maybe get use to a new rider.”
“Who?” Jess smiled and handed her the reins.
“You. I want you to have Magic, Bethy.” Beth smiled and squealed with joy, throwing her arms around Jess’s legs.
“Would you like to try him now?” Beth nodded and got a leg into the saddle. She asked Magic to trot, and then to canter. Jess led More and over to Jason.
“Here’s your horse. I need to get going, Daddy wanted me to work with one of the ‘chase horses,” she said, referring to her father’s new obsession with steeplechasing. She handed him the reins.
“Jess wait,” he said, catching her elbow. She turned, fear coming into her eyes for a brief moment.
“What?” she whispered. He sighed and bowed his head for a minute, collecting his thoughts.
“Don’t leave this way. You need to leave believing that I love you.”
“You don’t love me now… and you probably never will.” Jason shook his head, gazing into her eyes.
“I didn’t think I did either. I didn’t want to. I was afraid.”
“Of what?”
“That I was being cruel to you or to Beth… or to Carrie. I know she’s dead, but I didn’t think I’d be able to love again. I didn’t think I should love again, but you changed all that.”
“Jason,” she began. He pulled her closer.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say it earlier… I should’ve said it before any of the bad stuff happened,” he said. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes as he leaned down and kissed her. She pushed him away after a moment, the fear back in her eyes.
“This isn’t going to be easy Jason.” He nodded and put an arm around her shoulders, turning back and watching Beth canter around the ring.
“I know. You need to know that I really am saying goodbye to Carrie. Beth knows who her Mommy was, and I’ll always make sure she remembers her.”
“Just don’t compare me to her, or her to Beth. I want this to be about us, not some love triangle where I have to share you with somebody else. Especially when the someone is dead.”
“I know. Come on, let’s see if we can talk her into getting off that horse.”
“Yeah right. Do you know how long it took to get me off of my first horse?” He laughed and they walked toward Beth, hand in hand.
